What's so weird is the day before when it was announced that Gay marriage was now legal in all 50 states, I had blown up all of my social media accounts with celebration but received almost no push back. I guess everyone was bored by Saturday, or had just gotten more heated over night or something because it got completely crazy on facebook.
I then posted this on my facebook fed..
There are lines in every debate and/or heated discussion, when someone decides that insulting you, condescending to you is all they're interested in, not real dialog. That's not a productive discussion or use of time. So, I had to block her after she shot off this lovely parting dig to me....
After that I was really pissed but also kind of amused. Who "warned" her? I'd actually love to hear that warning. Maybe it went something like this, "Oh no, Carole doesn't even go to church anymore, she drinks and post pictures of it on social media! She even says cuss words now and is a flaming liberal! Poor girl has lost her way." And I bet they believe I validated their warning by posting my opposition to the Confederate flag and support of my Gay family and friends who can now get married.
So for anyone issuing warnings, I'm gonna go ahead and lay it all out for you, tell you how I really am now, so you can warn accurately.
I have Changed
My thinking started to change once I started working, worshiping and spending much of my time with the marginalized. Not "serving them" but getting to know them. My years spent in the 70805 from 2008 until just recently, February 2015, when I stopped working at CAPARC. They started to change when I became the mother of black boys. They changed when I got to know depressed gay teens who lived in fear of being themselves and in fear of never being able to be themselves. My views on race, poverty, equality, became less Republican and more liberal because I saw things from a different perspective. Once I got to know and love prisoners, prostitutes, gang members, transvestites, the poor. I saw how they were treated by society and decided I was with them in their fight to be seen as equals, treated with human dignity not as beneath someone. Not as people needing to be saved by me trying to elevate them to some lofty perch,but as equals. Some are different yes, misunderstood by me a lot of time yes, but no less equal in our humanity. I've always been on the side of gay people because I was raised with them always in my life, from uncles to neighbors.
When asked if I believed God intended gay relationships, I answered by saying that biblically I still have questions I'll admit, I believe there is so much in there we think we are sure about but really it's just our interpretation. Rachel Held Evans has a fantastic post about the "The Bible is Clear" argument, http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/bible-clear
But what I later thought of is how actually God didn't intend any of this. The garden of Eden was his intention, humans naked and sinless right? Marriage, anger, war, money, all are the results of the fall, not Gods perfect plan. That is why He sent Jesus. We can try to know Jesus as well as we can but at the end of the day only God can judge.
And the whole righteous anger mantra coming from Christians really kills me. I mean, where does Jesus tell us to condemn other people or to stand against them? He tells us about ourselves, what we are to do and not do. We have this crazy history of taking what is meant for us in the first person, and turning those words around to condemn and guard ourselves from other people. As Tony Compola says, Love the sinner and hate your own sin.
If you honestly believe Jesus can and does change people, why not leave that to him? Tend to our own heart, shine his light and show people the respect and dignity they deserve.
My Troll friend also accused me of changing my cause to be politically correct, and "jumping from cause to cause, but all of the causes I have championed in my lifetime fit into one category, I believe in standing for human dignity and equality. That has never wavered.
So now you have the facts, you can offer an accurate warning.
After a few hours, when I was trying to clean my house, but making very little progress because I was caught up in the back and forth on Facebook, the greatest thing happened, people came out of the woodwork to defend me. It was so wild. I got phone calls, texts and comments from people who never comment on my posts. Not all of them agreed with my views but even the ones that didn't were gracious and willing to not reduce the conversation to "I feel sorry for you...I'll pray for you to get your views in line with Jesus" that only comes from people who have no substance to add to the conversation.
I love SO MANY people that I don't agree with. I'd venture to say that 90% of the people I am friends with don't agree with my politics or views on God but there is love and mutual respect between us.
My friend Courtney decided we needed to start the hashtag #soberupcarole in mockery of my troll friend's condescending comment.
Jennifer text me and said "You wanna drink wine?" I of course said yes. Her and Kevin came over for dinner and we drank wine.
Courtney and Miranda came over and it became a #lovewins party, complete with 10 of Evangeline's theater friends and some Face-time with gay friends in California.
A day that started with conflict ended with good food, drinks, laughter and Kevin doing the Humpty Dance. We celebrated because Love really does win.