Sunday

My knee hurts from working the tailgate yesterday, ALL day! 
My workout gets modified, arms and abs not butt and legs.
Coffee then a glance at Instagram to see who liked my pictures from yesterday. 
Still can't believe we lost, dang those Refs! Must be on Saban's payroll.
LSU sure gave it one hell of a try though.

I need a maple bacon donut, E goes on that mission, Dunkin-no, Mary Lee-no, Albertsons-no. She gets me a glazed donut and then bacon from McDonalds.
Love having a teen driver to send for necessities.

Cleaning, listening to music, I think about church, "weird how I don't miss it." As I scrub the stove with an SOS pad.
I don't miss having it suck the life out of every minute of every day, especially this day. 
"Did I just say that out loud? Lord, do I really feel that way? I guess I do. Wow." 
I think about how much time we spent "churching" and again, I'm glad we don't anymore.
It repulses me actually. The thought of it, "The Machine" I see is so far from what I once saw. The Instagram post praising it, repulse me.
"Oh you better not blog that! You can't say that out loud, they will pity you, judge you.
"Who cares?" Don't sensor yourself for fear of judgement and pity. 
Judgement and pity are yours no matter what you write.
Always the battle, be real, true, and not write to please others.
I'm not use to freedom. I'm still not use to it.
As Ben says, "they say feedom is just another place to hide, but I'm coming to you with my arms open wide, tell me where could I go but to the lord?" 
I judge from here, I judged from there, it is just another place to hide.

The boys disappear down the road into the world of go carts, basketball and playing on a trampoline. Evangeline and I watch Makers-Women in Politics, on PBS. She's not happy I'm making her watch with me, she'd rather sleep, she is 18 you know?
But she stays awake and off her phone for the most part, and she learns a thing or two. 
What will I do if she moves away for college? I don't want to think about that right now.

I'll be glad when Dean gets home from work, I hate when he works weekends, which is most of the time. He's gonna make ribs tonight on the grill. We will eat as a family. 

It may be just another place to hide but right now, I'm content in this freedom.

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