2013: Losing My Religion..Again

 

 2013 will go down as the year I lost my religion...again.

I love Jesus, we talk all the time. In many ways I feel closer to him now then ever before, but my religion is gone. I've lost it under the dug hill that is the American Celebrity Church culture. I lost it because I got tired of digging in the S#!% to find it. The poop kept sucking my religion deeper into the pile. It sucked it down into the nasty, wet, awful stench over and over again and then one day, I couldn't dig my hand in it anymore and I lost my religion in the dug heap. 

But it's OK. This is not a permanent station in life, it's temporary. I've been here before back in the 80's I know it wont last forever. 

I am actually in a weird peaceful place now that I've lost my religion. I look back and what I miss the most is singing with the worship team at the Dream Center. But when I go to work and get to enter a prison and talk with an inmate about her children, her life inside and outside of jail, I am having church. My religion is gone but Jesus is with me and I'm more then OK with that.

So, no need to gasp when I reply "nowhere" to the question "Where did ya'll go to church last Sunday?" We may never find a new church home, we may find one next week, who knows? I may one day decided I feel like digging in the dung pile again trying to find my religion, only time will tell. But for certain, 2013 was the year I lost it....again.



Oh Life is bigger  
It's bigger than you and you are not me  
The lengths that I will go to  
The distance in your eyes  
Oh no, I've said too much I set it up
 
That's me in the corner 

That's me in the spotlight  
Losing my religion  
Trying to keep up with you 
And I don't know if I can do it 
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough  

I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing  
I think, I thought, I saw you try
 
Every whisper  

Of every waking hour 
I'm choosing my confessions 
Trying to keep an eye on you 
 Like a hurt lost and blinded fool  
Oh no, I've said too much I set it up
 
Consider this  

Consider this the hint of the century 
Consider this 
The slip that brought me to my knees failed  
What if all these fantasies  
Come flailing around
 
Now I've said too much 

I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing 
I think, I thought, I saw you try
 
That was just a dream  

That was just a dream
That's me in the corner  

That's me in the spotlight  
Losing my religion 
Trying to keep up with you 
And I don't know if I can do it 

Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough 

I thought that I heard you laughing  
I thought that I heard you sing 
I think, I thought, I saw you try
 
But that was just a dream  

Try try try try  
That was just a dream 
Just a dream

Written and sang by REM 1991

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