From the Wander: Current Life Soundtrack

The Dixie Chicks song, Not Ready to Make Nice, is blaring through my headphones into my ears, 

"Forgive, Sounds good, forget, I'm not sure I could"

wait, it's over, up now is Come to Jesus by Mindy Smith. 

"Oh my baby,when you're praying, leave your burden at my door.." 

In the wander, the space between found and lost where we venture, walking the tight rope, the edge, the train track, the cliff, the dark alley way, the deep valley, the desert.

"All who wander are not lost" Tolkien said, but all who wander certainly are more in danger of being lost then those who sit, comfortable, not moving.

And I believe, more at risk of being truly found.

Maybe that's what I fear the most.

But who am I kidding? Not you. I have not wandered as I should.

Am I afraid of the deep valley, the desert, the dark alley? Afraid of the cliff, the balancing act on the tight rope, the edge, the approaching danger of that train coming down the tracks?

"The Bathtub" by The Lost Bayou Ramblers, from the Beast of the Southern Wild soundtrack, now sweeps majestic fiddle, Cajun french lyrics, washboard combined with big Hollywood movie orchestra into my ears, melodic rises and falls embedding a feeling of epic journey from lost to found into my heart. 

I'm always in a movie.

To walk the tracks, feeling the approaching train in the distance as it rumbles the tracks, but still walk the tracks. To dare the cliff, the tight rope, the edge. To venture across the deep valley, the desert.

To wander and not to be lost.

There's a danger.

It finds us or we find it.

Suddenly, after much safe travel, we find ourselves in all of these dangerous places, looking at ourselves asking, "Why? What is this? Where am I? Who am I?"

Holland Road by Mumford and Sons sings to my soul by way of my ears now,

"But I still believe though there's cracks you'll see, 
When I'm on my knees I'll still believe,  
And when I've hit the ground, neither lost nor found,  
If you believe in me I'll still believe"

And now in all of Gods irony, my ears transition from Mumford to, You Can't Touch This by MC Hammer.

"Ring the bell, schools in sucker!"


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