Aging In Short Shorts

6:15am today. I walked into Evangeline's room to wake her for school.

I saw on the end of her bed a pair of glittery jean shorts. They were new. They still had tags on them. They were really short shorts.

"Where did you get these?" I asked to my sleeping daughter.

"The Boutique" she replied in a please-stop-talking-to-me-I'm-still-sleeping tone.

The Boutique is a free thrift store like at the Dream Center. Walmart donates stuff to it, stuff that is broken or returned and can't be resold. She had gotten these from a bag of Walmart stuff that had been donated.

"They're too big for me" she said as I held them up and was noting that they seemed more like my size then hers.

"Ow, I'm gonna try them on!" I said as she finally was so annoyed at me having this conversation with her this early in the morning that she rose from the bed and started to get dressed for school.

I put them on. They fit. No muffin top effect either. They didn't squish into the lose mushy flesh of my mid drift caused, I might ad, by that 10lb 1.5oz baby girl that was housed in my now defunct uterus 17 years ago.

"Oh I'm so sexy". I thought as I looked at myself in her full length mirror.

"These are too short for me to just wear but I could wear them with my bathing suite huh?"  I asked E as I continued to admire myself in the mirror.

E nodded in agreement. 

Then I turned around.

"What is that?" I said as I noticed the back of my legs.

I looked at E and she was still sleepishly trying to get her school clothes on and just gave me a "Mom, you just now noticing that?" kinda look.

"What is that really? It's like all bumpy. Has that been there for a while? Oh my gosh that's awful!" I said as I rubbed it in dismay and confusion thinking how I once had beautiful legs now I have old lady legs.

"I'm ONLY 45 for God's sake!!" I thought to myself as I continued to stare at the back of my legs in utter dismay and confusion.

I started thinking of how I would now have to add leg workouts to my new stomach and arm T-Tap workout routine.

I can't let my legs go to crap. Not yet. Not yet.

Not yet DANG-IT!


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