The Skies I'm Under


But hold me fast, hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer
Hold me fast, hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer

I will learn, I will learn

To love the skies I'm under
I will learn, I will learn
To love the skies I'm under
The skies I'm under


Those are lyrics from the song, Hopeless Wanderer by Mumford and Sons. As with so many of their songs, I feel like they read my mind and wrote down my heart.

The skies I'm under are just weird right now.

I had it out with the lady I work with. She is mean and condescending and I had just had enough. I don't like confrontation but sometime it's necessary.

I want to just not work with her. That would be easier.

"You treat your kids and your husband like that sometime, doesn't feel good does it?" God whispered to me.

And like a dagger to the heart I knew he spoke the truth.

Ugh! not fun. Seeing yourself in someone you don't like is the very worst feeling.

But then I knew, I just knew I couldn't let myself become her one day, I also couldn't be her
counterpart here and now, at work, I had to be a light.

Man that sucks!

I have to be full of grace because I need grace. I need His grace to change me from treating the people I love the same way she treats everyone.

The skies I'm under are currently FULL of life lessons.

My work environment is one.

Two and three are church and living conditions. In both areas I am learning lessons about me.

Church is trying, "how can I love one part so much and detest the other so much?" I ask myself. I stay conflicted about it all.

Our living conditions are chaotic, cramped and fattening right now. (Yes, fattening because we have to eat out more since we cant cook in the trailer except for the micro wave.)

But at least with the living conditions I see light very clearly at the end of the tunnel, we will move into a brand new house

Beauty from ashes.

I don't see that with the church situation.

Not that it wont happen, I just don't see it. I wish I could see it.

But what I do see is the sky.

Every day I sit outside the travel trailer at my patio table and I see the big beautiful sky.

I have to learn to love the skies I'm under.

The skies I don't understand.

The skies that try me and cut me to the core.

And the skies seen only from the entrance of a cave.

God has me under these skies.

But hold me fast, hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer
Hold me fast, hold me fast
Cos I'm a hopeless wanderer

I will learn, I will learn

To love the skies I'm under
I will learn, I will learn
To love the skies I'm under
The skies I'm under

Comments

Keri Wallace said…
I wish I could write my thoughts and feelings. Heck I'd have to understand them first...LOl...great post. There is a lesson is everything that happens. Hang in there