Heartache and Matt Dillon

I fell in love with Matt Dillion when I was fourteen years old after seeing him in the movie Tex. It was based on S.E. Hinton's book by the same name. I devoured all of her books. Matt Dillion starred in three movie adaptations, Tex, Rumblefish, and The Outsiders. 

One day, after I'd told mom that my boyfriend had dumped me again because I wouldn't have sex with him (I was fifteen), she took me to see Tex. It happened to be playing at our only local theater. Before the movie, we went to Pizza Hut, and I'll never forget what she told me over personal pan pizzas, "Carole, a hard peter has no conscience." 

After watching Tex, whenever I was at the store, I'd go off to look through teen magazines for pictures of him. If he was in one, I wouldn't necessarily buy it, most of the time, I would just rip the images of him out, or if I had to,  I would steal the entire magazine if ripping a page out in the Eckerds Drug Store would draw too much unwanted attention. I had 140 of these stolen posters all over my walls. So when I was sad over my real-life heartache, I was at least surrounded by the dream. I could close my eyes while singing Pat Benatar, Carly Simon, or Stevie Nicks into my hairbrush-mic and imagine that I was on a stage in front of a vast audience, and they all loved me. Matt was there, of course, cheering me on, and in my dreams, he always wore the leather jacket that he wore in The Outsiders, and I looked like Pat Benatar.

Fast forward to 2013. I worked as an extra on the movie Bad Country. I worked in two scenes with Matt, but talking to the stars was against the rules. On the last night of shooting, as we waited for the director to call it a wrap on the Extras, a car pulls up next to the curb, and out came Matt Dillion. My heart was racing. I knew this was my chance. Screw the rules.

Me: Hi, could I get a picture with you?

Him: Awe babe, sorry I can't. I look a mess, you look great, but I don't.

Me: ok, no problem. 

He walked past me to talk to the director, then back to the car and drove off. 

He might have blown me off for the picture, but I was ok with that. Matt Dillion told me I looked great, so it was all good. 


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