Girl Porn, Boy Porn, What's the Difference?

I knew that my post yesterday, Girl Porn: Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey, would start a conversation and raise some questions so I'm going to answer some of the questions I was presented with now.

First, here are the official definitions of Erotica and Pornography;

e·rot·i·ca
Literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.

por·nog·ra·phy 
Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.


Isn't Girl Porn different then Guy Porn?

Porn is porn as defined by the definition above regardless if it's for girls or for boys. As I told my friend Jonah when he asked why I didn't consider Twilight Girl Porn but I consider Magic Mike Girl Porn, it's because Twilight didn't have "Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.  

But the reason I called Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey, Girl Porn is because they mix explicit sexual content with romance, and a story which allows for an emotional attachment to the characters and makes fantasizing about the romance more possible.

But, every woman I know that struggled with porn addiction or currently is addicted to porn, is dealing with classically defined pornorgraphy, not girl porn. Now though, there is more Erotica in the main stream and again, movies like Magic Mike so who knows what the future of female porn addiction will look like.

The book, 50 Shades of Grey, has very sexually explicit S&M sex in it. It is written to capture the reader, attach them to the characters emotionally, and take them along on the highly graphic sexual journey of this sick Master-and-servant relationship. 



How could you watch the movie Ted and it not offend you like Magic Mike did?

That answer is simple; Magic Mike is porn, Ted isn't. There isn't even a sex scene in Ted. You see a ladies boobs quickly and there are lots of sex jokes made about sexual acts but Ted is comparable to Talidaga Nights or Wedding Crashers (which is actually nastier then Ted),  but it's not porn.

Magic Mike opens with a naked Channing Tatum getting out of bed with two naked women OK? And the 30 minutes that I saw where pretty much solid G-strip action, dancing in them, walking in them, grinding on ladies in them, etc. The entire movie is for one purpose only, sexually arouse women and/or gay guys. That's it.


In closing let me just say this, No, I don't believe that every woman that goes to see Magic Mike or reads 50 Shades of Grey is a porn addict or will become one any more then I believe that every man who ever views a porno movie is a porn addict. All of these opinions are from my perspective, this is my experience. From that experience, and from studying what is porn and the effects of porn on the brain,  I believe that Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey fall into that catagory.

Yes, I have a more tainted view of sex because of my past. I can't walk into the store "Hearts" on Airline Hwy without getting nauseated and feeling dirty because of my past experience with porn. This is my reality. It's like a recovering crack head going to hang out in a crack den, there is a feeling, a knowing, a warning goes up that your in dangerous territory, you feel the pull..former addicts know of what I speak.


Are you a woman addicted to porn or Erotica?

We, the church, need to understand that right now, sitting in our church pews are women who love God but are STILL living with porn addiction. They are pretty much NEVER encouraged to speak out and to seek help because it's just so awkward and uncomfortable for people to talk about or even think about the fact that a lovely Christian girl could be addicted to pornography. I was seeking out pornographic material for over 10 years after becoming a Christian. I had no one that I could talk to about my problem. It wasn't even something that anyone was talking about or even thought could possibly be a problem for women. I felt all alone with my addiction.

Even now, this is not comfortable for me to talk about, believe me, I fear how people will look at me, how I will be "labeled" by other Christians etc, but I speak out in hopes of helping other women to recognize the addiction they may have themselves so they can get the help they need to get free and they can know that they are not alone.

There are great new ministries like Dirty Girls Ministries and xxxchurch.com that help women to overcome their addiction. Our church has a ministry called New Beginnings that meets on Friday nights at the Healing Place Church Arena that has a specialty group for women dealing with sexual addictions.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Brilliant work Carole!!! Perfectly articulated post from beginning to end!!!