He Sleeps

Abel has been home with us since January 2009, almost two and a half years.

When he fist came home he wouldn't sleep really.
He would lie awake at night and be the first one up in the morning.
If we went on a long trip to Florida, driving through the night, he would stay awake starring out the window at the darkness.
He would be the last one to fall asleep in the car.
I'd have to tell him to close his eyes.

I know there's probably a clinical word for this non sleeping by an adopted older child from another country.
But I don't know it.
Maybe it was his inability to really know what was going on?
Maybe it was this new world?
or these new people saying we were his family?
Maybe it was anxiety over all that had changed in his life?
Maybe it was anxiety over all he had lost and the longing for the familiar?
Maybe it was the longing for home, not this strange place.
Maybe it was a mistrust for us, the people who said they loved him but he didn't even know.
Maybe he was afraid?
Maybe he was excited?
How strange it all must have been.
Think about it.

But now, he sleeps.

The other night he fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie.
Now he sleeps until 8am or 9am sometime.
Now, when I go into his room after he's been in bed for an hour, he's asleep, not lying there with his eyes wide open.

I started noticing the sleeping better progress over the last year.
Now, on the long drive to Florida, he sleeps.
Now, even on vacation he sleeps.

I think he has come to trust us.
I think he believes us now when we say "I love You".
I think he's at peace.
I think he's comfortable.
I think he knows that he can sleep and not fear any harm. 
I think he knows now that he's at home.


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