Midnight Post: Reflecting on Two Years Home

It's actually 11:56pm, I'm up doing laundry. 

We are on day 4 of Abel's Flu, soon to be day 5. He still has a temperature of 101-102.5, which only comes down when I give him Tylenol, and then it still stays around 99.9.

It's been a rough week. Mostly boring for me. Really boring actually. I've watched every episode of Sponge Bob we own and way more movies then I ever thought possible. We don't have cable so at least I have been spared Disney Channel. But Abel has loved all the TV. At least as much as you can when your as sick as he is.

I still cant believe it's been two years now since we adopted him. I have learned so much about myself in that time. Ugly stuff. I have also seen God do miracles in me and our entire family. I've learned more then I could ever put into a book in just this short two years. But I also know that we have far to go. Actually we have a life time.

I heard someone say that when you adopt an older child, you need to expect the attachment to take the same amount of time as the age the child was when you got them. This lady had adopted a two year old. I remember thinking, "no way it could take that long". But now I see what she means.

See, Steele is secure in his relationship to us, so is Evangeline. When we hug them or kiss them, there is no question of genuine love or trust. And even when we freak out or get upset about something they do, they also know we still love them. They don't even question that ever. But it's not that way with Abel. He still flinches if you move to fast toward him, he still gives hugs that aren't quite melting into you and I still feel he's not sure of who he is. Yes, he's more comfortable every day. He lies less now. He is more relaxed every day and he takes correction better every day. But we are two years into our six years. Abel was six when we got him. I believe it will take that long for him to feel completely connected to us and us to him. I wish my hugs came easier, but they just aren't as natural with him yet as they are with Evangeline and Steele. 

But that's not as bad as it sounds. See, the blessing of adopting an older child has many layers. A child gets a family and we get this gift that teaches us so much about God and ourselves. I would not trade one second of this last two years. Would I do things differently? Absolutely. I have made major mistakes. I have failed miserably and I continue to fail daily. But I know God has used every second. I thank God for books like "The Connected Child". It has really helped me to look at life through his eyes, to understand him better.The bible says that "Love covers a multitude of sins". God's love covers my failings. I can't do this without his strength and grace and his love. Where I am weak, He is strong.

I love Abel, even when I don't feel it, but I feel it more every day. And I think he loves me more every day. Like I've said before, when you adopt an older child you get to watch them fall in love with you and you also get to see yourself fall in love with them. It's work for both parties but it's good work. It's hard but it's more then worth it. What it does to your heart is something I can't explain.

Comments

Anderson Crew said…
Love covers a multitude of sins...aint that the truth...thank goodness!
I def have things I would do different and when we do it again, I know it will not be perfect, but I have learned sooooooooooooooo much! I feel we will do it better, with a little more wisdom and a lot more Grace
Rosie said…
It is good work, indeed. Sending love across the way.