Gay Adoption

This week our Louisiana state senate was presented legislation that would allow both partners in a homosexual relationship to be named as a parent in an adoption of a child. pro-family and political Christian organizations were at the capital "fighting for traditional families" And they won, the law expansion was not approved.

I'm all for free speech, fighting for what you believe in, so they have a right to speak out if they feel so led. I don't know every person that was at the capital fighting against this law expansion, but I do know many of them, and of the ones I know, NONE of them have ever adopted. I would hope they had at least funded an adoption, are part of a mentoring program for children in foster care or something that helps orphans, but I don't know if that's the case either. I do believe from over 25 years of being a part of many pro-life, pro-family political action groups, that most of the people who are in these groups have no adopted children.

I believe this is another reason why non Christians are repulsed by "Christian" political groups. ( I am no longer a member of any Christian political action groups) Children sit in foster care, who have been so abused and/or neglected that they have mental impairments, learning disabilities, emotional handicaps and physical handicaps. I know this for a fact. I have seen it hundreds of times. I know these children and I also know gay couples who have adopted these children and loved them as their own.

For the last 25 years I have watched conservative action committees fight against abortion and homosexual adoption all the while watching THOUSANDS of kids age out of the foster care system in America, never being adopted.

I was a pro-life activist. I went to jail a few times for demonstrations with Operation Rescue in the 80's and early 90's. I never yelled at a girl making that choice, I prayed, blocked doors, and had a dialogue with the girls and pro-abortion protesters. I also worked in a crisis pregnancy center, I have two adopted children, I spend time mentoring abused and neglected children, kids in the foster system and we give money to organizations working to get more kids adopted and more orphans taken care of around the world. I've been against abortion and for adoption for the programs that help the living children who are in need.

People who have not been a part of the solution shouldn't have a voice in stopping ANYONE who is trying to be a part of the solution. If a gay couple is saying, "I will love you, feed you, tell you your special, bear the burden of your disability with you, be patient with you, study homework with you, be the parent you never had" then aren't they acting more like Jesus to the orphan (James 1:27) then the "family action" group participant that has never adopted a child themselves but is telling the gay couple they should not be allowed to adopt? In my informed opinion, I believe that not until Christians have adopted all the waiting kids in foster care should there be any such group stopping gay couples from adopting those kids.

I know what your thinking, I've had this discussion, Christians think a gay couple will teach the child to be ok with gayness, the kids will grow up gay, perpetuate the gay agenda, etc. Maybe so, and I know that is a problem for many Christians. Again, fine, then you adopt the 9 year old who can't learn due to neglect and abuse by a drug addict mother. You adopt the 14 year old accused of sexually abusing his sister because he turned in his mother who was doing it to him. You adopt the 4yr old who is mentally and physically scarred from sexual abuse. You do what you don't want them doing then maybe the family action committees will be respected for what they are fighting FOR in stead of what they are against.

Comments

Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said…
Love ya girl! You always keep it real!
Ron & Maria said…
Love your words, they are strong, invite conversation - yet are the truth! Can't go wrong with that!
Maria
Wade Hinton said…
Interesting thoughts.

I appreciate your passion very much, but I do disagree with your post on a couple points.

A person doesn't have to have ever adopted, plan to adopt, or even actively support adoption to have an opinion on the subject. AND their opinion can be right AND the proper statement of that opinion can be used for kingdom purpose.

The issue at hand isn't adoption at all. It's the ongoing redefinition of "family" in our culture.

Orphans exist primarily because our world has left the concept of family somewhere in the ditch along with their children. Until we pick it up again and do family God's way through the gospel world-wide, the problem of orphans will continue to get worse and worse. While the homosexual adoption thing may make a physical temporary difference in the life of orphans, in the long run it is another step away from the answer and another step in the direction of making the orphan problem worse.

One can be passionately against homosexual adoptions because they are passionate about orphans.. I am!!
Carole Turner said…
Wade, I counldn't disagree more. I don not believe that someone can say they are passionate about caring for Orphans and yet they have not helped an orphan come into a home. I am sure your family does fund adoptions and help orphans in some way but most of the people that I know, who are fighting this, do not. They, like you feel it's part of the gay agenda so while fighting for the cause of traditional families, they hurt children who need love. YET they wont step up and do the very thing that they dont want the Gay community to do.

Your opinion is how MOST people that I know feel. I understand but I disagree only on the premise that this would be a NON ISSUE if only 8% of the worlds Christians would adopt. I rest my case.
nugg33 said…
Really good article. It's about time that some Christians stopped being so homophobic. Because this is what these groups are really. They are scared of homosexuals and don't think they should have any place in responibility in society. I am sure they wouldn't vote for a gay politician or would like their children taught by a homosexual etc.

Thank you for bringing awareness of this
Lauren said…
Love your blog, as usual Carole! I agree with you 100%! It's also caused me a little (uncomfortable) self reflection on what I, as a Christian, should do to help orphans.
I support gay adoption. I feel homosexual people have the same capacity as heterosexual people to raise children. Who are we as Christians to judge who should be able to adopt? Should Jewish people not be allowed to adopt because they don't believe that Jesus was our Savior? Should Chinese people not be allowed because they practice an Eastern religion?? The list could go on...but the most important thing here is the CHILD! EVERY child deserves to be loved. What ever happened to not judging people? What ever happened to to love the sinner, not the sin??
I know I'm rambling. I wish I could more clearly convey my feelings. UGhhhh :-)
Love ya girl and am proud of you for speaking out on this, knowing you were gonna get some opposition. Dialogue is key! People can disagree, it's ok. Just hope everyone can remain civil, like Wade did! God bless y'all!!
Chantelle said…
First off, I love your passion and commitment and appreicate your dedication so much. However I do respectfully disagree on this subject and, seeing as I have done my fair share of "Putting Up", I figured I didn't have to "Shut up" in this case. ;)

I have 5 adopted children (2 adopted as teens and 1 with HIV) and I am against homosexual adoption. Reason? 2 wrongs don't make a right.

All the reasons you listed are very emotionally charged and certainly tug at my heart strings with tremedous effect... but I have to force myself to use my logic over my emotions and look at Scripture, and God clearly opposes the gay lifestyle (Romans 1 among others). I agree completely with Wade when he said "homosexual adoption may make a temporary difference in the life of orphans, but in the long run it is another step away from the answer." From our short term, Human perspective it may seem like a solution, but I can't believe that going AGAINST God's Word and embracing something He opposes is ever going to be the best answer and will only spiral our world further and further into destruction and sin.

Do I have the answer then? Only to trust God, follow Him completely, and encourage more BELIEVERS to "PUT UP" and care for orphans. (James 1:27)

God bless you and your beautiful family.
Carole Turner said…
I totally respect your opinion. Yes, you are being one of the 8%. and I applaud you.

I just want the church that doesn't touch the poor. The orphan, the out cast, to have to think about the truth. The reality that only 8% of us could solve this problem. 8%! No, everyone is not called to adopt and I believe every person who adopts should have to go through extensive training on what their child could be dealing with. But I believe 100% that God has called the 8% but the weeds of this world have entangled them. Fear, lazieness, to much stuff, etc.

I just want to challenge the church to do more instead of protesting and fighting against the ones who are doing what we are all supposed to be doing.

Every Christian should be somehow part of the solution. Sponsoring families through World Vision or Compassion International, monthly support to organizatio s like the Abba Fund or Lifd Song for Orphans that help families afford the shameful cost of adopting. Or monthly fund Care Points through Childrens Cup or Childrens Hope Chest that feed, educate and give medical care to orphans. Mentor a child in foster care 4 hours a month. There are so many ways we can and should DO but we don't and that is my frustration.

I have so much love and respect for the ones on the front line, giving their lives for the least of these, being salt and light to the next generation.

Love and grace.
Chantelle said…
AMEN to that! AMEN AMEN AMEN! I have alienated many a Christian friend stating those very truths!! I agree 100%.
Chantelle said…
Oh and, for the record, although I do not SUPPORT gay adoption, I also don't have time to 'picket' the capital building about it. Too busy trying to light a fire under that lukewarm 8% who think Jesus was making a suggestion when He said "CARE FOR THE WEAK & ORPHANED."
Mike Haviland said…
My heart breaks even more when I hear of a precious, very impressionable, formerly abandoned and neglected child from the foster care system finding his or her way into the care of a homosexual couple.
I love the orphan and by God's grace will one day adopt.
I also love the homosexual and pray that I never treat them with any less dignity then I would hope to receive.
BUT I cannot with a clear conscience wish any child abandoned or not to be raised by someone who is them self, in my opinion, so lost, confused and hurting.
These children don't need just anyone to take them, they need the right people to take them.
They need the best care to help them heal.
They need a family that will show them the love of Christ.
And outside of Christ any other love is just a bandage on their wounded soul.
What happened to Christians that cared about peoples eternity?
Who will teach these kids about Christ?
And if your goal was to encourage Christians to adopt, I would say mission failed...
Carole Turner said…
Mike I love you but disagree. If the case is lost people adopting then Christian action committies should be Also fighting against Mormans adopting or agnostics, satanist, Budist, etc. But there is no such protest or laws being fought for or against these other people of non Christian faiths adopting.

Again 6% not 8% of all born again Christans adopting would make this a mute point. That's what I'm saying here but that isn't what Christians want to focus on. 6% is not "every" body, it's not even a quarter of them, but what if the 6% is just too caught up in talkng against rather then doing what they are supposed to do? No, everyone is not called to adopt but everyone is called to help orphans. It's a big job that seems overwhelming but maybe if just a smidgen of the time and money spent fighting against gay adoption was spent helping orphans find love, a home, education, etc then we could really make a difference in the orphan crisis in the world. As we should.

6%
zach said…
my name is zach, and i'm passionate about orphans. please do not allow my comment to be viewed if you have a problem with conflict...i don't want to bring that on you, carole. i strongly disagree with my brothers wade and mike.

No, Wade. The issue here IS adoption. That's what this particular post is about. There our kids who are dying and/or being sold into sex slavery over the world. And our son was starving as a five-pound three-month-old in Ethiopia...but because of the ripple effect...someone who adopted before us who may not have fit your approval created a spot for him in the orphanage to get treated for a parasite. These are real issues. It's easy for us white male Americans who've never experienced poverty or hardship to just blabber stuff when we've never really faced these things. How many times is orphan care mentioned in the old and new testaments? Repent from your position, brother. You care more about the word "family" than the orphan's physical needs. We need gay people, christians or non-christians to help...as long as they are equipped enough to withstand a home study, per our legislation.

And Mike, I'm guessing you can't say that you know personally a lesbian or gay couple that have adopted kids who are now teenagers. They turn out pretty dang normal...MUCH better off than if they'd been passed around from Foster family while they're mom gets on and off cocaine. So contrary to your statement, I think a lot of orphans really do just need ANYONE who will love them and care for them. Then let's worry about the morally fit. And do you REALLY pray that you don't treat them with less dignity than you would like to be treated? Because you are telling them that they cannot help you with the orphan crisis by adoption (like you hope to) because of who they say 'I love you' to. Repent, brother.

If you guys think I don't know you well enough to call you to repentance, well, you're probably right. But the self-righteous tone just sort of erks me.

May God be glorified. Thanks Carole for your passion.
Leesavee said…
As an adoptive mom to two amazing children, I can tell you that family, gay or straight, Christian or Buddhist or Jewish or Agnostic, etc., is better than no family. Institutionalization of children in orphanages or care centers is NOT the same as having a loving family.

My husband and I are straight Christians, but we know gay couples with adopted children, and the children are thriving. They have not "become gay" or anything like that. They are good, respectful, loving kids.

Carole, I totally agree with your position on this topic. Thank you for expressing it so well.
Leah F said…
solution for all:
Jennifer Knapp adopts all children. It's like the best of both worlds
thats all.

Leah

p.s. that was a joke. I'm not getting involved in this argument
Leah F said…
solution for all:
Jennifer Knapp adopts all children. It's like the best of both worlds
thats all.

Leah

p.s. that was a joke. I'm not getting involved in this argument
Shawn Wilson said…
Carole,
There are MANY assumptions in this entry that I find amusing. However, I would like to address just a few of the things you say here that really doesn't make much sense in the light of how this blog was written.
You come out and say a couple of times that, "not everyone is called to adopt." Which I agree with. Not everyone is called. Yet you "condemn" those who were at the Capitol defending the traditional family who haven't yet or at all adopted. That's a bit confusing. While I agree that not all are called to adopt everyone is called to help. I think your problem is, is that if someone doesn't help like you, you think they are not doing anything.
I assume that when you speak of those at the Capitol "defending the traditional family," that you are speaking of me and whom I work for. May I ask, how do you know we are not helping orphans? Just because I haven't adopted yet doesn't mean I am not. It also doesn't mean I am not doing anything. So your blanket assumptions are false and misleading.

Second,
May I ask when is it ever ok to support darkness? Are you in favor of the homosexual lifestyle? I know your going to say that this isn't about homosexuality, but it is. The Church has allowed our culture to determine the definition of what a family unit is, and it seems to me that you have bought into it. Not only am I against homosexual couples adopting but I am against single homosexuals adopting. The
Bible CLEARLY condemns the homosexual lifestyle and for Christians to "overlook" that portion of scripture to support their views on adoption is a purposeful misrepresentation of scripture.

While, I commend you for all that you do for orphans and the poor. Don't assume that those that are effecting policy are not doing the same. Just because we are not with you doesn't mean that we are not caring for the "least of these," that Jesus spoke about.

You also assume that people hate Christian political groups because we "don't adopt" or something like that. May I remind you that it was Christians involved in the political process that:

1. Ended slavery in Britain and America.
2. Brought women the right to vote and run for office.
3. Is the reason their are charity hospitals.
4. Brought equal rights to colored people in America.

I could go on. The problem people have with Christians in politics isn't that we aren't fighting for adoption but that light is invading darkness. There will always be a conflict there.

Much love,
Shawn
Wade Hinton said…
MY tone is self-righteous?? WOW!!

I am an active supporter of orphans through several of the organizations that Carole just put on her most recent post. Along with others. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but evidently this issue is THE issue that earns one the right to speak.

I love orphans and plan to adopt if/when God leads me in that direction. I will obey. my wife and I are prayerfully considering whether we should adopt, have one more biological child, or do both. In the meantime, I will continue to care for orphans in as many ways as I can.

It really would be a wonderful thing if the church would step up and alleviate this evil in the world. The 8% thing is indicting.

I wonder why the church hasn't done that...

Carole, if you deny the existence of a "homosexual agenda", grab your ears really hard and pull your head out of your rear end:)

My earlier post wasn't a detailed argument against homosexual adoption so much as it was a defense of one's right to have an opinion whether they have adopted or not.

It's not God's will for every Christian to adopt. Proof: It can't be because the percentages wouldn't allow us to obey. only 8% of Christians could obey. So, to say that a person who hasn't adopted doesn't deserve to speak to any issue that concerns adoption is elitist, prideful, and very short-sighted.

Those of us in the church who have adopted or are passionate about orphans, must be careful that it doesn't become our only litmus test for obedience to God. It's a great thing. It's something that every believer should be willing to do, but it's not a dividing line between the "good" Christians and the "bad" ones. NO such dividing line exists within the body of Christ.

To suggest that one has to "DO" something to earn a right to speak does just that. "Put up or shut up??" Some have earned their status badge and can speak. Others must be quiet? What if someone who has adopted speaks out against homosexual adoption? Are they any more right/wrong about the issue than someone who hasn't adopted? NO. They are either right or wrong and the truth is the truth...
Carole Turner said…
Wade and Shaun, Love you both.

I have answered all of your questions in previous comments so I don't want to repeat myself. But I will say that over 25 years I have seen a lot of word and not a lot of deed. You can accuse me of thinking everyone should be doing what I am doing and that all this is motivated by that ,fair enough. But truth is I just really believe that anyone who is fighting vocally what they consider a problem, an evil in the world, must also be a part of the solution. Again, statistically Christians only make up 10% of ALL people who adopt. Yet we yell the loudest against Gays adopting. Gay agenda or no, with my head fully out of my butt and looking at the facts, Christians are NOT doing their part in "deed" so their "words" are repulsive. Sorry, that is how I feel. That is why I wrote the post and I stand by it.
Shawn Wilson said…
Carole,
Why is it that you will continue in the conversation with those that "agree" with you but when Wade or I bring a counter thought you don't want to rehash the whole thing?

If Christians are not doing their part in this one issue then lets doing something about that. But don't get on your almighty high horse (or idol) and bash people who are fighting another form of darkness in another arena.

Let's be honest here. When you were protesting abortion back in the day it was the cool thing for the church to do. Right now in the American Church culture it is the cool thing to adopt, hand out water to the poor, etc. Are any of these things wrong? No, but when it becomes cool it is no longer done by conviction but to be seen and noticed. I find those that scream the loudest concerning "social justice" right now often jump from one thing to another, never really getting anything of substance done.

If you believe the Church should be active here then tell them. But leave the convicting to the Holy Spirit. If people don't do what you would like then let them find where God is wanting them to get involved, but to claim that the Church is failing is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. If it wasn't for the church nothing of substance would be done in helping people around the world.

If you are going to debate Carole be willing to go the distance and not go silent when people challenge you, your better then that.

Much love,
Shawn
Carole Turner said…
Shawn you love to argue, anyone that reads your twitters or your blog can see that clearly. But I'm not gonna arge with you. I don't need to continue the conversation by repeating everything I already said. I disagree with you. That has not changed by anything you have said. No argument you've presented has pursuadede me. That is why argueing this is pointless. I post it here on my blog to challenge people to think differently about it. Debate or not, Its my blog. Go get your fight somewhere else.

I will say I am cool, I only do what is cool, and that is why I chose to protest abortions in the 80s and 90s, it was very popular then, we never got knees in our backs or spit on by protestor and it was all just fun! And adoring is very much the in thing. Heck everyone knows how it's only about being cool not about giving a home to a child orphaned by AIDS. Pat yourself on thr back for that stream of thought. Your right!
Carole Turner said…
"adopting" not "adoring" auto correct got me again.
Chantelle said…
Like, oh … my… gosh, Carole!

We have yet another thing in common, cause my hubby and I, ALSO only adopted in the hopes of becoming WAY COOL!!

Sure, it’s cost Brad and I a small fortune (sometimes I call him ‘Brad’ for fun)… our days are filled with an endless cycle of behavioral issues due to our kid’s anxiety, attachment, and abandonment struggles, learning disabilities and health problems… and we’ve lost a few HIV-phobic friends & family members along the way… but whatEVER!!!! That’s the price you pay for ULTRA COOLNESS, man!!!

ROCK ON!!!
Hope said…
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!! Until you have rescued a child from poverty or worse, you have no voice to object to someone else who steps up to do it! I agree 100% Carole and many of my friends think I'm way off on this--but none of them have adopted.
Unknown said…
I was adopted by a heterosexual married couple. I was abused mentally, physically and sexually. I left them at 16 on to just as horrible conditions. I could go on to tell you more but this is not the time. Should this heterosexual couple have adopted me? The couple that adopted me was dysfunctional. There was mental illness and abuse in the home. Were they screened? No. It was a friends and family thing. My mother gave us to a lady that gave us to her sister and niece. All to keep us out of the system. I think my mother thought she was doing the right thing. She never knew what happened to us until we were adults. At least gay couples are screened. One of my sisters was in foster care and was abused every way you can abuse a child. Would I have been any better off with a gay couple or in foster care? I don't know but I do know it probably would not have been any worse for me.

We went to church every Sunday when I was a child. They were high standing in their "church community". We had a "family". It was all a lie and disgrace to mankind. My childhood affects every single aspect of my life today. Some good, some bad. I tend not to see things as The Cleaver's or The Huxtable's. I only judge me and try to love all mankind. If anyone wants to adopt a child and love, feed and teach them to be a productive human being. I applaud them regardless of their sexuality or ethnicity. These "Agenda's" come mostly from silver spoon people that have no idea whats its like to be a child alone, afraid, hungry and/or violated.

My husband adopted a child. When I met him he was a single parent to this 1 year old child. I have not adopted. I have cared for other children than my own. I love him as much as my own. I know how it feels on both sides. I know how it feels as a child and adult to know that this is not how it is "supposed to be". For someone to give a child some normalcy and some feeling of how it's "supposed to be". To be loved and to feel safe is all that matters to a child. It does not matter where it comes from...(this comes from the 11 year old in me that cries from time to time from the pain)...who knows this from experience. I probably rambled but I feel this from experience. Whoever wants to adopt...gay, single, straight or married should.
Another Voice (from PP) said…
I notice that Louisiana law allows for adoption by homosexuals, whether in or not in a committed relationship. This is in the link at the start of the entry. THIS law is all about joint parental rights of nonmarried homosexual and heterosexual couples.

That fact has not made it into the comments.

The question is, should unmarried homosexual couples have the same rights as married heterosexual couples.

If the gay couple care so much about adopting, they CAN and frankly they SHOULD adopt and make a decision who will have the parental rights. After all, we are talking about stable gay couples, right? They aren't going their separate ways.

What does it say about the 'children first' attitude if a gay couple will only adopt if the state and society recognize their relationship as a de facto marriage.

This bill has nothing to do with children, and everything to do about homosexual activism.

And yes, I have adopted, so I guess I have the right to voice an opinion too, right?
Erin Moore said…
It's such a tough debate because we don't want to think about anyone suffering. Our logic tells us that any place is better than no place, and any family is better than no family. But our lives on this earth are like a vapor, right? As Christians, we need to have an eternal perspective.

So I'm wondering...do you think it's better for an orphan to be adopted and raised by non-Christians (homosexual or otherwise), than to grow up in a Christian orphange where they will learn about Jesus?

The most imporant thing we can do on this earth is accept Jesus - if that is the #1 priority - than the best place for an orphan to be is the place where they will have the highest chance of accepting Christ. Where that is, exactly, I don't know....if I did I'd send all my unsaved friend there.

Love you Carole! Keep writing..and keep us on our toes, girl!