Living the Dream

I dreamed about Abel last night. I don't remember the context, I just know he was in it. I think that is the first time I actually saw him in a dream.

This time of getting ready to travel is so weird. Its kinda like at the beginning when we were trying to get all the stuff for the dossier together and done. I have to make my mind and body engage. I get so overwhelmed by all the "fax this, write this here, do you have this in your bag? Make sure the date on this is this..Fill this is JUST LIKE THIS..."

I know I have said it before but I don't think many of your grasp how much a GOD thing this whole process has been. The least which is me doing all the paper work! It literally freezes me, my brain, paralysis sets in with all that. I'm sure that's why I did so bad in school. But God has done this, He set the light unto our path, took our hand and walked us slowly through the process.

Uh, so amazing that we are here, at this day, getting ready to travel to get our new son.

My friend Ammye said something last night that spoke to me. She has a new baby girl, we were talking about the baby, and she said "your day is just around the corner. We don't get many chances in this life to experience new love". That is so true. The door of new love has been opened. Right now, it's romantic and dreamy, but soon it will be reality. Love is wonderful, it expands our hearts and makes us more like Jesus. But the romance of new love fades and becomes the day to day process of making a family. I try not to expect any certain thing from Abel or from us, because we have no idea what this new life will look like, that is, outside of knowing that we will seek God, ask him to expand our hearts, connect us all as a family, and help us all to walk in love. Maybe this year of delays and waiting has been all about preparing all our hearts for new love. Abel will have to love new parents that are so completely different then anyone or anything he has ever known. And we have to love a 7 yr old child that we have never met, he will be our son, Evangeline's little brother, and Steele's big brother. I assume nothing, I trust God will fill us all with love as He already has begun to do.

I hear people say "I just don't know if I could love someone Else's child like I should...what if they are really messed up by their past and, I couldn't do that.." I think many people would be shocked and amazed by what God can do with our hearts if we open them to a hurting child. But we also have to keep it open, know He is working in us just as much as he is in that child. The favor we may think we are doing by adopting an Orphan is just as much a "favor" God is doing for us because children grow and stretch our hearts. Don't ever doubt that.

So, we are looking forward with great hope, hearts full of love and ready for more love. THIS is so much more then I could have ever dreamed.


Donna said…
People say that to us all the time too, about doubting being able to love "someone else's child." Our children are not our own in the first place - we're stewards of them. But also, sometimes it's hard to love our own biological child, but the root of this is because of our own sin - selfishness, vanity, impatience, conditional love, et cetera.

I am so excited for y'all I can barely think straight.
Lesley said…
I truly can not imagine the feelings you are experiencing right now. When I look back over different things I have been through in my life, it's amazingly obvious that God was there and was in control of each and every move I made. It's incredibly humbling.

This is just the beginning of the latest chapter of God's book of your lives...
Anonymous said…
The Lord had you as family LONG before any of you knew. It is His plan. YOU ARE FAMILY. The family God intended. I can't wait to see you together!!!

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