A good man..

The other night the Swazi team got together to look at pictures from the trip. At one point in my mind I actually heard "Don't let jealousy rear it's ugly head in your heart" because I really was feeling jealous. Last night while looking at Jamie's 3000 pictures from the trip I finally cried and I talked to God about how I was feeling.

I hate to ask God "why". I am not one of those people who feel ticked at God over every little thing. I don't even get that mentality. I figure as a created being blessed to live in America, shopping at a mall and getting bargains at Walmart, I dare not get mad at God when the Orphan eating one meal a day at a Care Point thanks God for even that. So it wasn't so much that I asked God why I didn't get to go but more that I struggled with feeling like I had missed God. Did I doubt God could provide the money for Dean and I to go to Swaziland and also to adopt? Was it me that didn't go, not God keeping me from going? I think it was more that I just didn't feel it was right to ask people to help pay for both. There are other missions trips but my main priority was getting A home as soon as possible and having money for that. So I do think it was the right decision but a painful one. And as for Why, well in time I may know or I may not, but I do know He will use it for the good and that's all I need to know.

The biggest lesson I am being taught with just about everything in life these days is "help others with their vision, learn while building anothers vision". It really is all about dieing to self and helping others, I learn that more and more every day.

So, I got happy again for Dean. The trip truly changed his life all for the better. I know my time will come to go to Africa. I hope we will live there one day. I know God is using all this, I trust Him. His timing is perfect. AND Dean and I both get to go get our son from Ethiopia soon, very soon, so how amazing will that be?

Here are some of the pictures we got the other night. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have dreamed I'd have a husband who loved Orphans, loved Africa, wanted to serve God first and then his fellow man with his whole life. God gave me way better then I deserve.


I love the pics and the place where you are coming to!
Anonymous said…
Dean is sizzlin'.
Anonymous said…
those pics of dean with the kids are priceless! great post!
Elysa said…
Oh girl...I totally understand and am writing this thru tears.

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