I tried to pray this morning. It was a struggle. But I got a few scriptures in, Matthew 23 was good stuff and I had a very slight conversation with God but it wasn't what I wanted that's for sure.

So, we leave for Thrive like every Friday. I had prayed for God to help me be nice and patient, I was feeling good about the day ahead but kinda routine.

The children of the Thrive attendees begin to arrive, two of my favorite came to the door, Destiny and Deshaun. They are always dirty, unkempt and look very poor. They attend Sunday service now too but they are pretty new to the BRDC. They have only been coming for a month.

When they first started coming, Destiny and Deshaun cried the entire time they were up with me in the kids room, so we had to take them back to their mother. But for the last two weeks now they haven't cried. They are very quiet and mostly keep to themselves.

Today we smelled poop. I asked Destiny "do you have poop" she said yes. She wasn't wearing a diaper, she is three so she had on panties. The poop was running down her leg. I had Nadia watch the room and I took Destiny over to a bath tub in the community outreach building to wash her up. As I was wetting the paper towels, washing her legs and bottom, God met me there. My heart again remembered why. This little brown baby girl, poor and dirty in the inner-city of wealthy America, was Jesus to me just then. "I'm here." I wasn't repulsed or sicken by the poop covering her lower body, instead God used it to remind me of love.

Many days I so struggle not to give in to sadness. Waiting for "A", knowing he is still in the orphanage. Wanting to give him a home, raise him, have him be a part of our family. The waiting tries to suck me into the sadness. But helping Destiny today lifted me out of the sadness. Sure, Dean and the kids, their love and lives are always motivating but sometimes God uses the unexpected to stir our embers.

Today God gave me the strength to go on another day, do what I am called to do, and the strength to wait as well.

Thank you Jesus.

Thank you Destiny.


HerstoryGirl said…
I needed to read this today.
Thank you.
I am so inspired by your love for others. I just think thats so awesome to have such a heart to serve. You are so sweet & loving.
Anonymous said…
i just wanted to say that you have a great heart and you are another person that i admire.
Anonymous said…
i just wanted to say that you havea great heart and you are anothr persom i admire.

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