I am not

I am cranky today. Needing to "tell my moods where they get off" but it has been a struggle.

My Authority/Conformity/Submission/Obedience issues are not resolved but I have made some progress.

What I have learned:

I thought I was teachable, I am not, I actually think I know most everything most of the time.

I thought I was submissive, I am not, I quite literally get the hair standing up on my back when someone tries to boss me.

I thought I was Obedient to God, I am not. I tell Him what I would like and try my darndest to get Him to bless it.

I thought I was a Rebel and I am. So was the Devil. Not the company I want to keep.


I'm an open flesh wound right now. Trying to heal, trying to learn how to BE, trying to love God and my neighbor and just to walk this out.

The greatest thing is God loves me enough to bring me right back here again and again till I get this right. He will not let me just be crap. He knows that in my heart of hearts all I really want is to hear him say "well done, thy good and faithful servant".


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