Posts
What is Love? The Year in Mental Health
- Get link
- Other Apps

2020 has been a year of reckoning for me. Reckoning with myself. So much time to contemplate. Now I know that no one gets to tell me how to feel about my childhood. No one gets to tell me when to feel what I feel or how to process my trauma. AND they don't get to tell me not to feel. For the first time I allowed myself to FEEL the anger. I let the anger toward my grandfather out of the heart shaped box . I acknowledged it. I embraced it. I saw that it was good, not bad. It was appropriate anger. I saw the egg shells he made our tiny feet walk on. I saw the emotional manipulation he used to destroy my fragile grandmother and used to torment my mother. I saw the reason I don't sleep at night. I looked at all of it, examined it. I asked "What the fuck?!" and I saw just how much his presence and influence caused me to act in the same way toward my own family. I swallowed hard pills this year. And I started down the path of healing. I'm still on that path. People
Making of the Turner Family 2020 Christmas Card
- Get link
- Other Apps

Heart Shaped Box
- Get link
- Other Apps

There she was A heart shaped box I’d gone on a stroll Over hills of grey Like firm pillows And I found her Ouch! I cut my foot I see a spot of blood On my skin it pooled I see the sharp corner Reflecting like a mirror Peeking from firm pillows I see myself In the sharp thing That rose from the grey Taller than me It became The heart shaped box With a heart shaped door With a black heart shaped knob Which I opened And walked inside Red velvet walls So soft The door shut behind We paused The heart shaped box and me Sizing each other up I felt comfortable Free I was welcome To stay or leave Put events away Safely here Inside the heart shaped box I sat on red velvet sofas That lined the walls Like I Dream of Jeanie's bottle They said rest child I remembered my cut The blood was the sofas The blood was red velvet walls That called to me Unload memories Here they will keep Here they will wait The memories conspired And hired fighters A time would come For them to sho
A Vacation During Apocalypse 2020
- Get link
- Other Apps

It was Election Day, November 3rd 2020. Donna and I'd stopped in Houston and had a great visit with Esther and Trey, lunch with dad and were more than happy to leave the Reds of Florida and Louisiana for the Blues of California. We'd already voted so our goal was to forget election turmoil as best we could. When we exited our rented Red Mustang Convertible to enter Hotel Royal in Long Beach California we saw the hotel and the entire street boarded up. We were later told it was for fear of civil unrest. We saw a shirtless man on a bike with a huge Trump 2020 flag flying. " WTF? " I thought. " The REDS are everywhere! " Later at the beach some guys were walking around saying " Fuck Donald Trump " and I chimed in. That's more like it. We weren't permitted to use the hotel bikes because of Covid, which we'd looked forward to. All the vintage clothing stores were closed because of Covid. Every restaurant had outdoor only seating bec