Carole Smith Turner

I wake up wondering if I am Slicing wounds open by hand Did I give up and not know A zombie on the roam How am I walking  In the bathroom now My body confirms it lives  Peeing again I rub my sagging neck Feel for death It's not  What poison did I digest today Those clove cigarettes  Sugar Steak from the Cafe The birds are chirping Eating seed Lana sings Born to Die When was the last time I cried I'm alive

Poetry and Art By Carole Turner So it's not my novel, my life story, or the short story I recently completed but it is a collection of my poems and artwork and I'm proud of this little book.  Click on the image, check it out, and buy it for yourself or someone else or a bunch of someone else's. Thanks. 

Dean and I were finally able to get our first shot of the Covid Vaccine yesterday. My arm still hurts, I had to put ice on it last night and I felt kinda shitty but I'm OK with those side effects if it means soon I won't worry ALL THE DAMN TIME that I could get COVID. I won't always have in the back of my mind that a cough or scratchy throat in our household could be COVID. I'll be able to go dancing and sing karaoke without fear, travel more and not worry that someone I know and love will get it and die!  I am so sick and tired of COVID! I'd say the overwhelming majority of people I know have had COVID. I know six people who've died from it. I'm so thankful for doctors, nurses and scientists who've been fighting the virus for a year now. And yet the assholes...always there be assholes. Dean posted a picture of himself getting the shot on his Facebook and of course, a couple people felt they just had to comment in a negative, disapproving way.  Attention

2020 has been a year of reckoning for me. Reckoning with myself. So much time to contemplate.  Now I know that no one gets to tell me how to feel about my childhood. No one gets to tell me when to feel what I feel or how to process my trauma. AND they don't get to tell me not to feel.  For the first time I allowed myself to FEEL the anger. I let the anger toward my grandfather out of the heart shaped box . I acknowledged it. I embraced it. I saw that it was good, not bad. It was appropriate anger. I saw the egg shells he made our tiny feet walk on. I saw the emotional manipulation he used to destroy my fragile grandmother and used to torment my mother. I saw the reason I don't sleep at night. I looked at all of it, examined it. I asked "What the fuck?!" and I saw just how much his presence and influence caused me to act in the same way toward my own family. I swallowed hard pills this year. And I started down the path of healing.  I'm still on that path.  People

How it started.. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Carole Turner (@caroleturner) View this post on Instagram A post shared by Carole Turner (@caroleturner)   How it's going... How it went...

Every Thanksgiving we take our Christmas pics. This year I wanted to take them in the Geek Parlor so the kids decided we'd just raid our closets and wear whatever the F we wanted. I mean, 2020 has been so INSANE so why not?  I love how they turned out.  Merry Christmas and good riddance 2020!!