The Wardrobe and the White Tree

The Others are Really Loud

2012-02-02T17:40:00.001-06:00

I worked all night last night on the movie, Now You See Me. We filmed a Mardi-Gras scene in New Orleans. I got home at 6am.

As with all movie shoots, there was a lot of down time, a lot of waiting around. As I stood in the street waiting, I was praying. I asked God again, like I have been for days, what was the right thing to do. He didn't answer.

I am at a fork in the road. I find myself with two paths before me, and I have no idea which one is the right path.

For days, I have been thinking about little else. Which to choose? I have asked God over and over to tell me which is the path he wants for me but I honestly can say, I hear nothing from Him.

I only hear the voices of The Others.

My situation reminds me of the tension between the Survivors and The Others from the T.V. show, LOST.

In case you are one of the two people on the earth that isn't familiar with LOST, "The Others" were this mysterious group of people that seemed really bad at the beginning, they liked to kill and kidnap people.

But then as the series progressed, we saw that many of them were actually good, they thought the Survivors were bad. But some of The Others were really evil, some not so evil, some a little of both.

But one thing for sure was that every time there was these whispering voices in the jungle, the Survivors always said it was "The Others".

The Survivors would wonder why were they whispering?
What were the whispers saying?
Should they listen to the voices?
Why were they always whispering right before the black smoke came to kill people?

The whispering voices of The Others and the things the others did and said when they encountered them, made it hard to know what was the right thing to do.

With every encounter things got more and more confusing.

I've realized that the voice of The Others is really loud in my mind. I have got to tune them out and hear from God.

Neither path before me appears "bad", they both are "good" paths when looking at just the path itself, both would be commended by half of The Others, but only one path is right.

And the truth is, I care too much about wanting to make The Others happy, not wanting to disappoint them.

I fear they may be right.
I fear they may be wrong.
The fear of them controls my every move.

And that's not something that's easy to admit.

I should care more about knowing for sure what God wants and hearing His voice.

But sometime, like now, I can't hear Him, I can only hear The Others.

Pray that I will recognize His voice and listen to what it tells me to do.

Diet Journal Video and Before and After Pics

2012-01-28T12:09:00.000-06:00

Ok, so yea, I'm totally wearing the sad face in my "before" pics and I have on grey and no make up, you know, the typical before picture you would see in diet adds. And like them also, is my "after" pic. I am wearing all black, which automatically makes you look slimmer, I have on make-up and I'm smiling. But, the truth is I lost 12 pounds in 21 days and I have never been able to loose that much weight. So, I have a reason too smile..mainly because I'm done with the diet!! YEA!!

Now I am the "Low Carb" phase of the diet and I've upped my caloric to 1200 a day and I'm gonna start doing Just Dance 3. I also MUST do stomach exercises! The beast is still loose and flabby. I wish I could afford a Tummy Tuck, how does it get so loose?!!

Anyway, Here's my pics and below them is another video Diary Entry.

Who I'm Supporting for President and Why

2012-01-27T06:32:00.000-06:00

During the last election, I attempted diplomacy and discretion when expressing my opinion, yes, I really did, I promise. Sure it was MY version of discretion, and to many people that are reading this now, me saying I used discretion at all is laughable because I was pretty opinionated. But anyway, I know how much I actually didn't say and why.

See, I have attended a very conservative church since 1996. They invite the leaders of The Family Forum and our Republican governor to speak there and some high profile republicans attend our main church campus, so, even though I spoke out in support of fair and godly treatment of Obama during the campaign in 2008, I tried to avoid an outright endorsement of anyone. I ended up voting for John McCain but I actually prayed as I entered the voting booth, because I was so torn on who to vote for.

I am not a single issue voter. I was a hard line Republican for 20 years, but I have been an Independent since 2004. When I'm trying to figure out who I want to vote for I research their voting record if they have one, I read stuff written by them and about them but then I rely a lot on how I feel when I hear them speak. Do they give me the creeps? Do they seem phony? Do I believe what they are saying? What do I see in their eyes? What does the history of their life say about their character and beliefs? Do they seem humble? Do they seem teachable? And, how much of what they say that they would like to accomplish, do I also want to be accomplished in America? I add all of that up and then I make my decision. That's why I had such a hard time during the last election, when I added up all that, the candidates were almost equal.

But this year, well, it's a different race. I liked Huntsman but he's no longer running. Romney is too jingoistic, seems desperate to win and will say and do anything to win and has the money needed to brainwash us into a trance like stupor of name recognition as we walk into the voting booth. Newt Gingrich is the most unappealing Republican candidate ever, Santorum is way to Republi-christian for me to stomach and Ron Paul has just one to many crazy-extreme ideas for me to endorse him, although I did look long and hard at him as an option.

And I like Obama. Yep, I said it. I like him. And here's just a few reasons why...

He doesn't give me the creeps.When he speaks, I feel honesty and sincerity.His life shows a man who has always been committed to his family, his community and his country.He always seems humble and teachable, even admitting he second guesses himself all the time. As far as policies are concerned, I think he's working hard to get the economy back on track andI am more in line with him on taxes, immigration, health care,foreign policy, and education. I want him to succeed in a lot of the things he's working on now and I believe he needs four more years to do that (and it may not ever happen due to us having the most extremely divided congress in our history, with hard line Republicans as the majority) I like more about him and his policies then I don't like and much more then I like any of the guys running against him.

So, this election, I will stick an Obama sign in my yard, because that is who I will be voting for in November...unless Dean decides to back the Republican nominee, he's much more conservative then I am politically..how funny would it be if we had a Obama sign and a Romney sign in the front yard?

Only in America! I love it.

FREEDOM!

Find Your Place Little Lady

2012-01-26T10:00:00.000-06:00

Perhaps he knew, as I did not, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road.Karen Blixen-Out of Africa

You and I, we are the Church, no? We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing. Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a little child, you receive me.Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.
Mother Teresa

Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are. Anne Lamott

Boys in The Hood: Johnny's Got a Gun

2012-01-23T12:49:00.001-06:00

Robert and Johnny in 2008 at the after-school program

I first met Johnny in September 2008. He was 13 years old. But after talking to him for only a few minutes, I felt like I was talking to someone much older. Craig, who is the pastor of the Dream Center now, was over the after school program then, he always said that Johnny was a 30 year old man stuck in a 13 year old boys body.

Johnny was usually high on pot when he came to the after school program so he was mellow. He just kinda did his thing, hung out, played a little basket ball, talked to the adults, the kids, and just went with the flow. But it was almost like he was observing.

He had an air of leadership about him, you could see the potential. He was usually serious, like there was so much behind those eyes that he was protecting and he was one of those kids that we were always happy to see.

Johnny had come to Baton Rouge from New Orleans to get away from Hurricane Katrina. From what I understand the story to be, he came and stayed with his moms boyfriend and I think there was a grandmother but there was never a father in the picture.

Back in 2008 and 2009 he came to the after school program almost every day it was open. Pat and Lorri Earles had him over to their house with a bunch of other boys to stay the night one weekend. Craig, Corey, Paul all invested in Johnny.

But then he moved away from the Dream Center area. We saw him a few more times after that but no one seemed to know where he was living and how to get in contact with him.

Then last week Craig text me this picture and said "Know who this is?" Of course I did and I responded with "Johnny" Then he sent me the news article....

New suspect arrested in Mall of LA shooting; charges against teen dropped

BATON ROUGE, LA (WAFB) - Charges against a 17-year-old have been dropped and another teen has been arrested and charged with four counts of attempted first degree murder for the shooting near the Mall of Louisiana Saturday night.

On Tuesday, East Baton Rouge Sheriff's Detectives arrested Johnny Williams for the shooting in which two innocent teenage bystanders were shot. Charges against Meco Green, 17, have been dropped by the District Attorney.

Following EBRSO's initial arrest of Green, based on multiple witness statements and positive identifications, detectives received a Crime Stoppers tip that Williams was the shooter.

Detectives continued to investigate the incident in order to carry out due diligence and gathered enough evidence to charge Williams and release Green.

Johnny Williams, 17, is charged with four counts of Attempted First Degree Murder.

According to reports, Williams argued with another man outside the mall. He then fired several shots at the man and struck

Read more http://www.wafb.com/story/16477397/new-suspect-arrested-in-mall-of-la-shooting-charges-against-teen-dropped

I was sick after reading it. And heart broken.

The kids that were shot were suburban white kids walking outside the popular mall in town. They were shot in the legs and arms and are still recovering from their injuries.

Innocent by standards were injured from what appears to be gang violence (yes, I feel pretty sure this is gang related. It's been back and forth for a little while now, two gangs in particular) innocent people were caught in the cross fire on the good side of town, not in the hood where stuff like this goes on every day virtually unnoticed by anyone outside of the worse zip codes in town.

And it was our Johnny doing the shooting.

When I saw the mug shot I knew Johnny had found the family he was looking for. He found the other lost boys, the others like him from the fatherless generation...like so many others like him do, he found fathers and brothers in the streets, in a gang.

We lost him and they got him.

Now, he will spend time in prison for attempted murder.

Thank God no one died at the hand of Johnny.

I'm heart broken that he caused such pain and injury to innocent people. I'm heart broken that he took this path. I'm heart broken that now I have to go see him in jail.

But I'm glad Jesus forgives, heals, and uses even the worst of circumstances to reach people. He loves Johnny and though it may be very hard for some to muster up compassion for a gang banger who shot innocent people, it's not hard for Jesus, His grace and mercy are beyond our comprehension and if jail is where Johnny has to go to find Jesus, then so be it.

Family Pictures by Amberlynn

2012-01-22T20:56:00.001-06:00

Track My Diet with Me

2012-01-19T15:24:00.000-06:00

I'm using My Fitness Pal to log my food and my weight loss. If you want to see what I've been eating on this diet, you can click on the badge below.

MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Diet Day 13 and Why I'm not Feeling so Guilty

2012-01-18T15:27:00.000-06:00

Above is my video diary from today. You can follow all my progress on my YouTube site, http://www.youtube.com/user/featheriron?feature=guide and you'll see, I'm having trouble staying under 500 calories a day. I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY!!!

But, below is a Dr. talking about being able to eat more then 500 calories a day on this diet and I've watched other video's of people who ate 800 or so a day and still lost weight SO, I'm not feeling so bad about it now.

I think I will stick with this till the end, which is next weekend, but I will try to stay around 600-800 calories a day instead of 500.You can also find the real Dr. Oz (the above video says "Dr. Oz" on it but it's not THE Dr. Oz) cover the pros and cons of this diet on his show, on YouTube.

Here is part one, but watch all 5 parts to learn all about it. (The people who say they were never hungry are crazy!!!)

500 (or so) Calories a Day for 9 Days so far..

2012-01-14T19:12:00.001-06:00

Extra Musings: After Watching Contraband

2012-01-13T17:50:00.001-06:00

Dean and I met up with Nathan and Esther last night at midnight to watch Contraband.

First, I'll break down the "who we saw and didn't see in the movie".

Nathan is seen pretty quick, in the bar room, wedding scene. He's walking across the dance floor. I screamed out when I saw him much to the embarrassment of Dean :-) Look for him on the left side of the screen.

Then we saw Esther a couple times real quick on the dance floor. Her hair was more red and shorter so she looks different.

Then you see her and Nathan dancing in the back ground.

Very cool.

Next, in a scene a little later, where Abel is riding his bike, you see him from the back. It's real quick too. He's out in front of an apartment complex where Mark's character is going to visit the Giovani Rabisi character.

Dean wasn't seen, except for he knew it was his blurry torso walking past a guy when he answers the phone in the TSA office.

And finally you see me.

It was the same scene that is in the trailer. I'm behind the lady that is asking him questions at the TSA office.

You see the computer shot of his ID picture that I took of him, so you actually see the scene I was in with him, but you don't see me.

Then a little later, you see hands typing on a computer keyboard, we are pretty sure those are my hands but not positive.

Watching it was both exciting and disappointing, but not unexpected. We all know, as background actors, that we are usually blurry, if seen at all. A lot of times we are cut from the movies. They call us "background artist" for a reason, we are in the background, we fill it and make the scene environment seem more real, and 99% of the time we are completely unnoticed by people viewing the movie. We get it. So if we catch even a quick glimpse of ourselves, it's a pretty cool thing.

Now to give a quick review of the movie itself.

I honestly liked it more then I imagined I would. It was entertaining. It had some good plot twist and it was clean. Yes, it had a lot of F words, and it was violent but it wasn't extremely graphic like a lot of movies are these days.

I think guys who like action movies, will enjoy it even more then I did. And Ben Foster is amazing in it, so is Giovani Rabisi, it goes without saying that Mark was great, this type of movie is totally his element.

So yea, it was more then worth going at Midnight to see it and it was even more special that we got to view it with Nathan and Esther who were the ones that introduced Dean and I to the movie biz!

Yea for living in Swamp Hollywood!

Diet day 6

2012-01-10T13:29:00.001-06:00

Follow this oh-so-fun dieting journey on my YouTube page, http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL81A3E4DE9C811CA6

Diet Days-Come Along for the Ride

2012-01-06T19:41:00.001-06:00

I've decided to do the HCG diet. Yes, the diet that might grow me a male organ..or two.

No, it's not that bad but I did make fun of it before, while I was researching it, but I think it's safe..enough that is.

I know several friends that lost LOTS of weight doing it and none of them grew any new apendages or had any real side effects.

Anyway, I started it yesterday.

I will be on this diet until January 30th.

My goal is to lose 20lbs.

I only get to eat 500 calories a day.

Yes, you read right, 500 calories a day!

BUT I take a shot of this HCG hormone that is SUPPOSED to help me not be hungry while only eating 500 calories a day.

You can read all the details of the diet and how it works HERE.

Yesterday and today were the "load in" days where I take the shot but I eat lots and lots of fatty foods.

You would think that would be fun and easy but it wasn't.

Tomorrow starts the 500 calories.

Honestly, I kinda doubt that I will be able to maintain that.

But we will see.

We will all see because it will be on my YouTube channel.

I just thought it would be a good idea to have some form of accountability so I'm gonna do a daily video journal.

So if your feeling voyeuristic and/or board, come along for the journey...Here is the first entry.

You can follow my progress daily on my youtube channel
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL81A3E4DE9C811CA6

The Gothic-Folk Rock Queens

2012-01-05T14:02:00.000-06:00

While I was on vacation in Florida my sister gave me two Florence and the Machine CDs and I've been listening to them like crazy since.

I know that all the hipsters and culturally relevant people have long since discovered Florence and the Machine. I had heard of them and heard them perform on some show once, not sure what the show was, but I remember thinking she had a cool voice and their sound was interesting.

Christina Perri

But I've been slow in attaching affection to this new Gothic-Folk Rock music ("Gothic-Folk Rock" is MY term that I created like I did the term "Swamp Hollywood". How is it that I don't get paid to come up with these spectacular titles?)

The vocals are heavy, salty, spicy butter. (any vocals that are soothing or easy going down, I call "butter") And there's a somewhat Ethereal quality to it. I have always liked this style in small doses, I just never wanted to eat a whole slab (butter reference) of it.

But like everything else that we are inundated with constantly, consciously or sub consciously, I started to acquire a taste for it (inception maybe?)

As I type, the song "Heavy" by Florence is invading my soul via my ears. And I like it.

The Civil Wars

The vocal style of this Gothic-Folk Rock music was birthed, in my opinion, in the early 90' by groups like The Cranberries and Sixpence Non The Richer. But the music and lyrics were more perky and more upbeat. In their day they were the soft contrast to Grudge Rock.

As we entered and then left the first decade of the new millennium a deep melancholy settled into the music industry and Emo music rose from the ashes.

Adele

But Gothic-Folk Rock is not Emo. Like The Cranberries and Sixpence Non The Richer of the 90's, it is the soft contrast to the dark heavy sadness of Emo music. The Civil Wars, Adelle, Christina Perri, Florence and the Machine all consist of that salty spice butter vocals, deep, soft melodies, rock drives and falls and the earthiness of folk guitar. (Although Adele does have more of a jazz foundation to her music).

The dark makeup, black hair and clothes of Emo gave way to classic Hollywood glamor..with a Rock edge. Basically we now have a hybrid of Emo contemplation, elegance, rock and folk music.

And I'm starting to dig it.

In my highly professional opinion (I sing and play tambourine in the church band AND I do Karaoke a few times a year so, yes, I am a qualified professional), I believe that THIS is the music of the 20-tens.

In case you've been under the same rock I have been, here's one of my favorite Florence and the Machine songs.

Listen and enjoy.

On The Way Home, Ready for the New Year

2012-01-04T11:17:00.001-06:00

We're driving home from Okeechobee right now, I'm blogging from my phone so please excuse typos and grammatical errors.
We had a great visit with my family. We danced, sang karaokee, sat by the fire, drank Amaretto, laughed, ate too much and had our family pictures taken by Amber Lynn. (She's a friend of my niece, Candice, and she takes great pictures)
I enjoy my visits to Okeechobee but Baton Rouge is home and I'm ready to get back home and sleep in my own bed.
Is there anything better then your own bed?
I'm also ready to kick this 2012 into high gear.
I'm excited.
Like just about everyone else, I get very contemplative at the end of the year/beginning of the new year.
I've looked back on 2011 and I feel like it was a really good year.
Full of new adventures.
Fun.
Painful at times.
Stretching.
But over all, very good.
And now that I'm looking forward, after looking back, I can see a lot of areas that I need to improve on.
I give up too easily.
I read stories about people who were told "no" and pressed on. Others who fought against all odds for what they believed. And when I read stuff like that, I think about how I give up too easily. I don't fight hard enough for what I want. What I think is right.
I want to change that this year.
There's more that I've seen in me these last couple weeks, more that I want to change, more that I want to cultivate, more that I want to kill, more to nurture, more to give away.
And more to write.
Yea, I'm looking forward to this year.
I've got a few good blog post brewing.
And I hope to be able to do Extra work in a lot more movies this year.
16 of the movies we've been extras in come out this year so I'm hoping we can at least see our blurry selves walking in the background on some of them.
Tomorrow I start a major diet (like 90% of America does at the first of the year) and I'm hoping to lose 20lbs.
Oh, and it's an Election year!! So even though I have 990 followers on twitter right now, I'm looking forward to watching that number rise and fall with my political tweets. AND I'm really gonna work on not unfollowing friends who tick me off with theirs.
Good times. Good times.
Happy New Year.

2011 Part 5: Top Blog Post

2011-12-30T10:16:00.000-06:00

These are the top ten blog post here at The Wardrobe and the White Tree based on traffic and comments.

Check'em out...

2011 Part 4: Discoveries. Bad Lip Reading

2011-12-28T16:24:00.003-06:00

I only just recently discovered BLR on You Tube thanks to @jamietheVWM, Christmas blog post..

and Oh my goodness, it's so stinking funny!!!

I'm sitting here with Evangeline and her friend Cheramie watching the Bad Lip Reading YouTube and laughing so hard.

Check out just a few of the gems...

Your welcome.

10 Years Ago Today, Geekness Kindled

2011-12-25T12:08:00.001-06:00

It was a cold Christmas. Not freaky cold, just normal 40-50 degree range so we were able to wear light sweaters and it felt like Christmas.

The world was somber and cautious. Unlike any other Christmas before in the United States, we were all still grieving and in shock, recovering from the September 11th terrorist attacks.

Dean, Evangeline and I opened gifts in the morning at home and then headed over to Karen's mothers house, like we often did on Christmas. We spent the day eating, laughing, napping, all the usual Christmas activities.

And of course, going to the movies was on the docket.

"We're going to see Fellowship of the Ring this evening, Carole" Karen had told me. "Oh, cool. I've been putting off watching it, I can't imagine Elijah Woods as Frodo. I mean, how is that sweet little kid from The War and The Good Son going to be Frodo Baggins?" I replied.

My stuffed dog Frodo today. The kids know not to touch him.

Karen was well aware of my deep love for Middle Earth. She had been my roommate for a couple years back in the 80's when we were single and she had been my friend even longer. She also knew Frodo the stuffed dog that I had slept with since I was 13 years old.

My mother had given me Frodo for my 13th birthday. I had just read The Lord of The Rings for the first time so that 's why I named him Frodo. I slept with that stuffed dog until I got married in 1994. One time, as a joke at church youth camp, Karen and Ammye hung Frodo up by a noose from the rafters of our cabin.

So, Karen knew how serious I took my Lord of the Rings. I think she understood my apprehension. We all felt it really. How could anyone make a good, not cheeky, not Hollywood, movie of Lord of the Rings?

As we arrived at the theater and walked in, I saw the movie poster. It stopped me in my tracks. I looked at it in complete bewilderment, for there he was, Frodo Baggins holding the ring and looking at me. Elijah Woods WAS Frodo! I even marveled aloud, "Wow. I would never have believed it could be possible, but he really is Frodo! This is gonna be good."


When I saw this poster, I knew that Peter Jackson had done Middle Earth right.

Suddenly I was filled with excitement. And as we sat down and the movie started to play, I knew this was cinematic history being made.

That was 10 years ago today.

After that day I set out on quest to devour all things Tolkien and Lewis. A quest that lasted over six years. (I had read the Narnia series several times over the years and was already as much of a CS Lewis fan as I was a Tolkien fan). I became a Tolkien and Lewis Scholar. My free time consisted of reading, studying, filling binders with notes. I attended a lecture series by Ralph C Woods, author of The Gospel According to Tolkien, and other Tolkien experts. I visited theonering.net daily, I was at every first showing of each of the remaining two LOTR movies, at Walmart at midnight when each was released on DVD, and we watched the DVD's weekly for years. I started collecting as many Tolkien and Lewis books, action figures, decor, and trinkets, that I could afford. My sister came into town for Trilogy Tuesday and her and I arrived at the theater at 4am, sat in line until 11am and then watched all three movies, back to back! Yes, that's over 10 hours of movie watching in one day!

"Feather Iron" in Elvish

And I got an Elvish tattoo. (The tattoo story is pretty funny actually, you can read it HERE.)

Now, we await the arrival of The Hobbit Movie next December. Evangeline and I are planning a trip to New Zealand for the premiere.

Evangeline now carries my Lord of the Rings back pack to school...

I'm passing on the Geekness.

All because of that Christmas Day, 10 years ago when Karen said "Hey, we're going to see Fellowship of the Ring tonight".

The Night Before Christmas...Redneck Style

2011-12-24T08:55:00.000-06:00

THE BEST EVER!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

COOL-C AND EV MONAY, Jesus Walks

2011-12-23T08:34:00.001-06:00

2011, Part 3: The Year I Became A Movie Extra-A Pictorial.

2011-12-13T10:34:00.000-06:00

Since last January, Dean, my kids and I have worked as Extra's on over 16 movies and 3 TV shows! You can see the complete list HERE which also contains the release dates for each. But I want to highlight some of the more memorable sets that I worked on this last year....

The beautiful city of New Orleans. The only plus side to the two days I spent sitting in my van in the HOV lane of I10, when I worked on 21 Jump Street. When I hear Extra's complaining on a set now I just say "let me tell you about my days on 21 Jump, I had to pee in a Dr. Pepper can..." Yea.

I can't post the name of the movie, confidentiality and all, but I will say thank God I didn't have to put on any make up or do my hair because these were some super early call times.

..and yes, that's me, a modern THIN and young woman looking very old and fat in 1820's dress. I ain't skairt!

This one's from the Parker shoot. This band was in the parade scene and they got restless after 5 hours of waiting in Extra's holding so the band director decided to have them practice. It was amazingly wonderful! We rocked out! I teared up. I love music.

This is from the movie, Loft. This was the night I almost broke the cardinal rule of Extra-ing, never ask a star for an autograph. But I was on set with Eomer, (Karl Urban) and well.. I was totally star struck.

Ah yes, Switch. a little TV movie where I played a teacher, a parent, a high school basketball fan, a hamburger joint patron, and more! I spent many days on this set. And as you can see by the picture of these young-uns, we all take our acting very seriously.

Esther and I were the only Extra's one night on the set of Switch, and we were board so we had a little fun planking.

This is from when I got to do stand in work on the movie, The Paper Boy for Actress Neala Gordon. It was a really great 6 days!

This was just ONE of my days on the A&E TV series, Break out Kings...Always the professional. Literally, I'm so type cast. But I ain't complaining.

This is from GI Joe, I was a lady at a military funeral. Can't you tell by the pearls, black dress and red lips?

Bullet to the Head. I was a cop, Dean was a Fireman. It was like dressing up for Halloween. So fun!

This is from the HBO series, Treme. Dean, Me and the kids were on it several times but only Dean actually made it to being seen on screen...

..but let me tell you, this day was great. We were filming a parade scene, and they told us to "act" like we were Bar-B-Qing and having a good time but people started really doing just that and next thing you know Steele was eating Crawfish with strangers. It was a blast!

This is from the movie, Stash House and it was the first movie where I THOUGHT I had a "line". I said "Happy Birthday Dr. Nash" and the 5 people sitting behind me chime in so technically, if 5 or more people are saying the same thing, they don't consider that a "line" so they don't have to pay you what they pay people who actually have a line. It was still really cool...other then filming in a Cat hospital.

The Philly Kid. One of the best movie sets ever! We had several nights of night shoots and I get delirious and/or cranky when I don't sleep, but on this set, it was great...

...Most of it we did with Nathan and Esther so we had a lot of fun and made lots of friends and that's where we met Hank, Casting Dude extraordinaire!

And I saved the best for last. This is from my beloved Contraband! My first! I was so completely green and I was in a scene with Mark Wahlberg. Wait, you haven't heard that story? Well go read it HERE!! This will always be so so so special to me. January 14th 2011, the beginning of my illustrious career as an Extra in Swamp Hollywood! AND you can see me already in the trailer for Contraband..

(But this is not a pic of the scene that I did with Mark, I'm just in the background here, Like I said, you should go read about the scene.)

Contraband hits theaters January 12th, almost a year to the day from when we were on it!

2012 will probably be a year of me blogging about what movies you see me or my family in or blogging about the ones we were cut from...let's hope there aren't too many of those, for every one's sake, because those will more then likely read like a two year old temper tantrum.

2011 was the year of me becoming a shameless movie Extra geek and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

2011, Part 2: Best Of..

2011-12-12T08:40:00.000-06:00

TELEVISION

If you don't watch Parks and Recreations you're missing one of the best ever. Ron Swanson is my favorite character.

MOVIES

The Help was good like The Color Purple, it made me ugly cry at the end.

MUSIC

If you saw her perform on the American Music Awards, you know why this Album is on my list. I love that Adele sounds better live then she does recorded. That can be said about very few singer/song writers these days.

BOOKS

There are times in life when you read a book and you know that it's the catapult slinging you over the wall. This was that book for me. I read it while doing Stand-In work on the movie, The Paper Boy. It was a very interesting paradox.

FOOD

If you live in the Baton Rouge area, you need to eat here. It's the best new thing in town, that's for sure.

NEWS

Finally! I'm so ready to return to Peter Jackson's Middle Earth.

PRODUCTS

Blue is the new black.

2011, Part 1: If You Had Told Me This Time Last Year That..

2011-12-09T17:03:00.001-06:00

This time last year, If you had told me that Dean, my kids and I would be in over 18 movies by 2012 and my occupation would be "Movie Extra", I would have squealed like a teenage girl and laughed at you in your face.

If you had told me that we would be far better off financially by this Christmas, I would have sighed and hoped you were right.

If you had told me that Evangeline would be back on insulin shots, not on a pump anymore, and I would be happy about this, I would have given you that mean look of disbelief.

If you had told me that I would not be spending three to five days a week at the Dream Center anymore, I would have been so sad and just sure you were wrong.

If you had told me this time last year that while I saw myself as a leader, others saw me as a liability, I would have dismissed you as "just bitter". And kept on believing what I wanted too.

If you had told me that Dean and I would be attending a married couples connect group AND we would be loving it, I would have laughed knowing you certainly must not know me very well.

THIS is why God doesn't tell us stuff in advance.

So much change. And it's all good.

Stay tuned for 2011, part 2 ...I don't know what it's gonna be about yet :-)

Holiday Tree or Christmas Tree?

2011-12-08T06:29:00.001-06:00

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

THIS is why it's so scary that most people I know get their news and their daily dose of fear from FOX news.

Tis the season :-)

God Bless the Days of Imaginary Friends

2011-12-07T07:43:00.001-06:00

Evangeline was an only child until she was eight years old when we adopted Steele. So for several years she had an imaginary friend named Kayla.We had to set a place for Kayla at dinner and even at restaurants E would say "Where's Kayla going to sit?"

One day a little boy from down the street came over to play with E. I asked him if he had any brothers and sisters, He replied "I have a sister named Kayla" and E said very excitedly to him "My imaginary friends name is Kayla!" at which the little boy just smiled and said "cool".

Last night I remembered Kayla fondly.

What triggered it was Steele's complete obsession with the Elf on the Shelf. He's been begging for one and we finally got it. And the Elf has magically moved around to many places in our house. Now even skeptical Abel is into it.

Elves that talk to Santa. Narnia, imaginary friends they all bring out the most beautiful part of who we are when we are children- that ability to play make believe and believe it. The birthing of creativity, reality, faith, all start there.

But what also made me think of Kayla was a conversation that I had with E in the van, on of those "teen-age" girl conversation where I try to stop myself from saying stuff like "boys are evil!! They only think with their penises. I'd like to tell you that it changes as they get older and more mature but it doesn't! They can't aim it at a huge toilet of water and they can't keep from thinking with it either." But I really shouldn't say things like that because I'm married to a boy. I love him. He is good. and I have two sons, they are boys and I love them. So, I know they are not evil. I just..ugh, I just wish that while boys are finding themselves they would avoid my baby girl.

But then I know she is also finding herself too and I want her to know who she is, what she believes, in the world. I've always believed that the real world changers are those that don't live in a bubble but those that see many angles of the same picture. That's why I never wanted her to go to a Christian high school, or to only live in "church world" because that warps kids and makes them think they are somehow superior to others and unable to truly relate to the world around them.

But, navigating these waters of teenage-girl-in-high-school makes me miss the days of imaginary friends. Sometime when she's sleeping I go in and put my cheek against hers and she's that little girl again. And I see that little girl still daily, popping out from that teenage angst and hormonal hurricane with a broad laughing smile, innocent joy and mirth.
I want her to keep that. THAT is what I don't want the world to take from her.

I believe that God gives us those days of innocence so we never forget pure unadulterated joy. So we remember what it felt like to not have a care in the world. I think it's a glimpse of Him. So that when pain, heartbreak, confusion, sadness, anger, fear, insecurity, all try to dominate, we have that still inside us. He plants it there so we remember there is more to life and this too shall pass.

God bless the days of imaginary friends.

Extra Musings: It's Like 9th Grade

2011-12-06T08:02:00.001-06:00

I believe that just about every environment we enter in life can be compared to high-school.
The year before, your in junior high, your top dog of the 8th grade.
Cool, popular, in charge.
Then comes 9th grade.
Freshman year.
You enter that huge building full of strangers and they don't know your status in J-high.
You consider getting a T-shirt made that reads "I was voted most popular last year". Just so you'll get the respect that you believe you deserve.

The movie industry is like high-school.

The 10th graders (AKA people who have done Stand-in work) look at you with condescending glances because now a few uperclassman say hello to them in the halls.
Some of them are well on their way to becoming kings and queens.
The Juniors (the people who have had speaking roles) are in full Emit Smith mode, ball held tight with both hands, bobbing and weaving, eyes wide open, looking for entry points, weaknesses in the ranks of the seniors.
They know every move matters now. They will do what it takes to have their place in history (aka the Class Favorites page of the year book).
And the seniors, (the people who've been cast in a role for a film) they rule the school. This is their year, and they know it. They are the kings and queens.

The movie industry in Swamp Hollywood is high-school.

See, what happens is people read about all the movies being filmed here. Or they may read my excitement about being an extra in them and some think "hey, I'd like to do that".
So they sign up, get called to do it and some of them are shocked to learn that it's 9th grade.

Movie extra's are the freshman of this high-school.
The peons.
Which should be obvious by the pay.

But for the Kings and Queens of J-high, this is a rude awakening.
They are used to being treated like kings and queens. Respected.Paid more.

So after they do it, some of them just don't understand why anyone would choose to be an extra.

But like I said, every environment can be compared to High school.

Think about careers where you have to Intern, without pay for a year or so.
Your a freshman.
Ninth grader.
Movie extra.
Or let's say your working the fryer at Chick Fil-A so you can one day own your own Chick Fil-A.That's your 9th grade.
In most industries you have to start somewhere and in the movie industry, a lot of actors, actresses, crew members do a little time as Extras.

I want to say too that there are a good bit of Extras who do it for fun or for the money so they aren't trying real hard to get out of 9th grade.And that's cool. I am more in that class then the other I think.
I would love to get speaking roles but If I never do, I still love being an Extra.

And honestly, I can see why some crew members have a hard time treating extras with a great deal of respect.
Have you ever went into an Extras holding tent after they all left?It's filthy.
They seem to have a brain block between them and putting their trash into a can.

Freshman.

They want to be entitled.
They want someone to treat them like Juniors and at least pick up after them, like they are at least somewhat important.

And then you have the truly desperate freshman girls who set out to sleep their way to Prom Queen.
The crew spreads the word quick about which ones are easy prey.
They want to be noticed, special, respected.

But what these extra's don't understand is that they haven't earned that respect yet.
No one knows how great you are.

And they've seen hundreds of freshman come through, not picking up their trash, complaining about the lack of craft services, not bringing enough wardrobe options, hooking up with the crew, so they look at you like all the rest.
If your not like all the rest, time will show it.

Because Swamp Hollywood is like high-school,
And being an extra is 9th grade.

Welcome to your new school!

Bono Talks World AIDS Day with Jon Stewart

2011-12-01T17:27:00.001-06:00

Seriously, this is so great. I love how he gives the credit that is due to GW Bush. This interview is funny and it's informative. SO ready to see the end of AIDS, it's now a possibility on the horizon.

America; Our Kids are Fat and Hungry

2011-11-29T16:47:00.001-06:00

CHILDHOOD OBESITY

The obesity epidemic currently sweeping the United States is a particularly poignant problem for the nation’s children. A full 30% of all kids age six to 19 are overweight, and their numbers have doubled in the last decade, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Among minority populations in this country, the numbers are even more alarming. Statistics from the CDC show that more than 33% of Hispanic/Latino boys are overweight, as are 35.7% of African-American boys and 51.2% of Mexican-American boys. As for female children, 30.1% of Hispanic/Latino girls, 46.4% of African-American girls and 36.7% of Mexican-American girls are overweight.

We always talk about how much we care for this generation, how much we care about the next generation. We spend thousands of dollars and many hours trying to figure out ways to reach them but I think we are blind to what we are teaching them right now about self control, excess, and how to treat the temple of God (our bodies) by the way we worship food in most American churches.

The church, as representatives of Christ, needs to pull back and take a long hard look at what we are doing to our kids and the kids we are trying to reach by how we treat food in our congregations. We need to look at what we are teaching by our actions.

When the media talked about first Lady, Michelle Obama's anti obesity campaign, many conservative Christian's lit up social media with their outrage that the government was meddling in private eating habits of American citizens. But the church should have been well ahead of Mrs. Obama in working to fight this epidemic.

Proverbs 23:20-21 says: Don't associate with those whodrink too much wine, or with those who gorge themselves on meat.For the drunkard and the glutton will become poor, and grogginesswill clothe them in rags. Here, as in other verses, gluttonyis placed in the same category as other sinful behavior. Yet,while the church denounces the use of alcohol, we don't oftenspeak up about the sin of overeating even though the lack of selfcontrol is usually the root of both problems.

CHILDHOOD HUNGER

In 2010, 16.2 million children lived in food insecure households.

While we are handing out candy at every church service, feeding our teens sugary drinks, nachos and pizza, at youth events and outreaches in the name of "reaching the lost", 16.5 million American children are living in homes that do not have enough food.

The problem of childhood hunger is not simply a moral issue. Child hunger hampers a young person's ability to learn and becomes more likely to suffer from poverty as an adult. Scientific evidence suggests that hungry children are less likely to become productive citizens.

Most churches do give out groceries to needy families. At the Dream Center we give out bags of groceries, the Methodist church beside us gives out meat and dairy products once a week and many churches I know of do have a pantry stocked with canned goods and other non perishables that they give to needy families.

But research has shown that we are not helping the hungry when we give them junk food from our church pantries or on an outreach. Food that is void of nutritional value only serves to make health issues worse and can lead to obesity even in kids that come from "hungry" homes.

...refined grains, added sugars, and fats are generally inexpensive and readily available in low-income communities. Households with limited resources to buy enough food often try to stretch their food budgets by purchasing cheap, energy-dense foods that are filling – that is, they try to maximize their calories per dollar in order to stave off hunger. While less expensive, energy-dense foods typically have lower nutritional quality and, because of overconsumption of calories, have been linked to obesity.

When doing outreach into poor communities It only takes a short time of reading the research to know that giving out junk in these communities is harmful, not helpful. We need to toss out the idea that giving away anything is better then nothing and look into grants that pay for community gardens, healthy snacks, etc. How cool would it be if an outreach consisted of people going door to door giving away home grown carrots or tomatoes grown by the congregation of the church on the corner, then handing them a flier inviting them to participate in the community garden?

We the church in America need to realize that we are a huge part of the Childhood obesity and childhood hunger problem. We need to reverse that and be a huge part of the solution. Some churches have taken steps in the right direction and more need to follow their lead.

(Reuters) - Pastor Michael Minor stirred a bit of controversy at his northwest Mississippi church when he banned fried chicken from the fellowship hall. But convinced that faith communities need to step up their efforts against obesity, Minor is now urging fellow African-American congregations nationwide to make the health of their members a priority."Our bodies are not our own. They're a gift from God," he said. "We should do a better job with our bodies."

Instead of treating food like a sacred cow that we avoid like an elephant in the room, we need to in stead address this issue head on. We need to reevaluate how we use it for outreach, how we use it to fill pews, what foods we give to our kids and what message we are sending to the world around us by our staggering rate of obesity.

Public health experts say faith communities, with their long records of tending to the sick and driving social change, are in a unique position to help tackle the obesity epidemic and the severe health problems associated with it."Churches are a foundation in the community," said Victor Sutton, director of the Office of Preventive Health for the Mississippi state health department."Sometimes you can have a doctor tell someone something, and they'll blow it off," he said. "A pastor cantell someone what to do, and they'll take it as a scientific fact."

Driving In A Hard School

2011-11-29T09:15:00.001-06:00

"IF you are a poor creature-poisoned by a wretched upbringing in some house full of vulgar jealousies and senseless quarrels-saddled, by no choice of your own, with some loathsome sexual perversion-nagged day in and day out by an inferiority complex that makes you snap at your best friend-do not despair, He knows all about it. You are one of the poor whom He has blessed. He knows what a wretched machine you are trying to drive. Keep on. Do what you can. One day (perhaps in another world, but perhaps far sooner then that) He will fling it on the scrap-heap and give you a new one. And then you may astonish us all-not least yourself: for you have learned you are driving in a hard school."

C.S. Lewis- Mere Christianity

Come Monday

2011-11-28T08:24:00.001-06:00

I was 7 years old when this song came out. It's one of the best "Monday" songs ever. Enjoy.

Fall Creations

2011-11-24T12:15:00.001-06:00

We served Thanksgiving dinner to the community last Sunday at the Dream Center after service. As with every year, I was put in charge of decorating the tables.The Saturday before that, when I was out side the Dream Center helping with the Ham giveaway, while looking at the pine cones, fallen leaves and branches laying on the grass beside the parking lot, I suddenly has an idea.. What if I made center pieces for the Thanksgiving dinner, from all of this? How cool would it be to use the materials that the trees discard as they are shutting down in preparation for winter? What a great representation of Fall? And best yet, it would all be free AND it would truly be recycling. So that's what I did and it turned out amazing if I must say so myself.Check it out..

This Made Me Smile So Much!!

2011-11-19T18:58:00.001-06:00

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Elijah Wood

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

Video Archive

Colbert and Elijah together. So happy so so very happy. And FYI, I also have a Sting sword....

"Hey Everybody, Come See How Good I Look!"

2011-11-15T12:59:00.001-06:00

I now spend lots of times taking pictures of myself.

The spirit of Ron Burgandy is upon me.

These are new head shots that I took with my fancy Android Thirll.

I'm so Swamp Hollywood!

Feel free to make fun of my vanity but not my huge forehead.

Adoption Awareness Month: Equipping for This Calling

2011-11-08T09:57:00.003-06:00

November is Adoption Awareness Month. I'm glad we Americans designate months for making people aware of stuff. But what I usually find is it's less Awareness and more advocacy. Which is great, I am obviously a huge advocate for adoption. I think more people are called to adopt then actually do adopt. But along that vein, and along the vein of awareness, I do want to help raise awareness of what a difficult job adopting can be.

See, we all talk about callings in life, like being a pastor or a doctor, lawyer, humanitarian, missionary, etc. but in most of those cases, it's never taken for granted that there is a lot of work that goes into preparing for those callings. And even after they start walking and living in that calling, like, lets say a missionary to Zimbabwe, all of us are aware that they are sacrificing much, working hard every day in conditions that we cant even imagine. They know before hand from all the training they've gotten in bible school or seminary or from other missionaries, that this calling requires getting equip. It requires more then they humanly have to give.

Take a doctor for instance, if your called to be a doctor, you have to go to eight or more years of school, and then internship, then residency, etc. We don't take our callings in life lightly. Usually when we have found our calling we work hard at getting all the equipment we need to prepare for the calling. We are always learning more about it so we can continue to grow and be better at it.

Do you see where I'm going here?

In adoption, we talk about how it is a calling, how it's something that God has called many to do, but only few are doing. I believe the reason why so many people are not answering that call is because they feel that they don't have what is needed to do the job. They believe they are incapable of loving a child that is not their own flesh and blood. And most of the time, they are right.

Wait, did I just say that? Yes, I did. See, we want people to be aware of how badly adoption is needed but we aren't too keen on making people aware of how much is required for this calling. The reality is, just like when you birth a child, when you adopt one, things will be brought to light about YOU that are really really ugly. You may look at that child and think, "what have I done? I don't feel anything for him." Or worse, you look at that orphan who was abused as a child who has now acted out his abuse in your home on one of your other children and you may think, "I've made a mistake. How can I ever forgive him?". Or you look at that hard cold shell of a child that looked so sweet in the orphanage with his rehearsed smile, and you wonder if you will ever feel anything for him.

Then you realize that, Oh my Jesus, I am not capable of doing this. This is too hard. I am lost. I don't have the equipment. THEN usually one of two things start to happen. Either, you go inward, start thinking that no one will understand these feelings so you cant tell anyone. And you decide to just try to do this on your own.

This is not good.

Or, now you start reading the books, begging for help, when actually, you should have prepared for your calling better. Your trying to play catch up and you start feeling overwhelmed with guilt that you didn't do this before. You start wondering if the damage can be fixed. Oh if I had only known then what I know now.

This is not good either.

But, I know, at the time you just had such a "heart" for orphans. You had such a "burden" for the children around the world that had no parents. You heard all the wonderful stories on Oprah. You read about the 21 year old girl Katie in Uganda who adopted 13 girls. Your church paraded families on stage showing you the wonder of adoption, it was all so romantic. And you just knew, this was what you were meant to do. This was your calling. So you did it without putting on your equipment.

I am not really speaking to YOU as much as I am talking about me. See, I wasn't prepared. I thought I was, but I wasn't. After Steele's adoption it took about 5 months to really attach to him, but he was a new born so it was easier. After Abel's adoption, well it's been three years and there are days when I wonder if we will ever really get there.

Each child has brought out huge insecurities in ME. And there is nothing LESS effective then an insecure parent. I spend most days feeling like a total failure. I knee jerk react instead of being calm and thinking through discipline. I don't give each child enough individual attention. I let guilt motivate me more then anything when it comes to Abel. His past, his time as an orphan, felling sorry for him that he had to go through all that and trying to make up for it.

I heard a lady tell me one time that how ever old the child was when you adopted them, that is how long in years it will take to fully connect with and love that child like they were your own. I didn't believe her of course. But I do now.

Love is work. Attachment, connection, they take work. Work that requires equipment. We know this in marriage, but we also need to be aware of this in adoption. Your calling is work, if you neglect the work with the equipment, you will fail. Like I said, we know this in marriage, and we also need to know this in adoption. Especially with an older child.

I fail miserably, almost daily. I brought into my marriage and my parenting LOTS of nasty baggage. I brought in bad equipment. And like I said, more baggage is revealed with each child. BUT God is there. Dang, how could I do any of this without him? Really, I cant even begin to imagine. He helps me. He's revealed some things to me recently that He's digging out of my heart, it's painful and there are days where I don't think I will ever stop being that bad parent, but I'm a work in progress and I have to lean on Him, seek out and use the equipment that He has provided or I will fail completely.

I thank God for grace and the fact that He said "love covers a multitude of sins". I know that every day is a fresh start and HIS love will cover my parenting sins of the past. I just gotta grab a hold of that and move forward.

So this adoption awareness month, know this, adoption is hard, as all rewarding callings are. It's work, but He has provided the equipment and what calling in life isn't hard work?

Adoption is a life of huge sacrifices, most of them painful, but that is where the fruit comes from. God gives us these children, He calls us to parent them. They save our lives as we save theirs.

We as parents have to be the initiators of love, we have to work at the love, even when we don't feel it so that our children feel safe, loved and connected.

God has given us the equipment, we simply have to seek it out and use it.

So how do you equip for your calling to adopt, before adopting and after?

Get books.

Get books on raising adopted children and read them. I got the book, Parenting the Hurt Child and The Connected Child. I purchased them AFTER I got Abel when I should have gotten them BEFORE I adopted him. And, as I read them, I found that many of the scenario's fit Steele more then Abel. I discovered that Steele had sensory disorder that, had I been educated on issues faced by children who have unhealthy womb environments, I would have been better equip to handle his temperament and meet his needs better as a baby.

Find a support group.

Healing Place has an adoption ministry called His Heart for Orphans, they have all kinds of support groups for people considering adoption and/or people who have already adopted. A lot of churches are starting these because they realize that the people answering this calling need to be better equip and supported.

Talk to people who have adopted.

Find people that will be honest with you about the good and the bad. Tell them that you don't want the sugar coated version of their lives that they present to the world, you want to know the stuff that they think will scare you away from adopting.

DON'T get advice from people who have not adopted.

Most people who have adopted older orphans especially, have learned that people who are not walking in their shoes, judge based on their reality, not yours so they've learned to protect and go inward to avoid such judgement. People who have never adopted say things like "of course I could love that sweet boy! All he needs is a mothers love!" or "just discipline him like you would your biological children". Stuff like that. Listen to me, they don't know their butt from a whole in the ground when it comes to this. DO NOT get parenting advice from them.

Pray.

This is what I do. I ask God to help me love and connect with Abel. Like I said, Love is work, it's work that YOU have to do. When I don't want to hug, I make myself hug. I pray for God to help me see opportunities to connect with Abel. I ask him to help me not get lazy at this work. I ask him for more equipment when needed. I repent for failures, Beg for mercy and grace, then extend what is received to my children.

I lay hands on all of my kids every night before bed and pray for them, first off I say "Thank you Jesus for ... Thank you for letting him be my child". And a couple times a week we join hands as a family before bed and each of us pray for each other.

Get professional counseling.

Again, find a counselor who has adopted a child or is adopted or something like that. DON'T go to some church pastor for counseling. Find a professional. Seriously. Your pastor may be great, he may have raised wonderful children and he may counsel hundreds of people a day, but if he has no experience or education in helping parents of and/or children from hard places, don't go to him for parenting advice.

"...Strengthen (complete, perfect) and make you what you ought to be and equip you with everything good that you may carry out His will; [while He Himself] works in you and accomplishes that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ (the Messiah); to Whom be the glory forever and ever (to the ages of the ages). Amen (so be it)..."- Hebrews 13: 21

Let's work together to seek out, grab a hold of and use the equipment that He's given us for this wonderful calling of adoption.

Boob Tube Days

2011-11-07T13:15:00.002-06:00

I've been sick for a few days so I've watched more TV then I thought was humanly possible.

I watch in online so I can pick and choose what I want to watch and when. Love that.

I watched three episodes of Arrested Development. I had never watched it before. It's a great show that was really ahead of it's time. (it only ran from 2003-2006) I hear there is a movie coming soon. That should be good.

I also caught up on last weeks Parks and Recs, Community and The Office. And I get madder every week that 30 Rock is not back on! That stupid show Whitney is annoying at best.

But anyways, Community was great, finally. To me it's been struggling this season so far, but it's improving.

The Office is actually funnier now without Steve Carrel. He was great, don't get me wrong, I thought it was going to be awful without him, but I'm pleasantly surprised at how much I am enjoying the new Office. James Spader is just amazing, he makes the show.

And then there's my Parks and Recs. That show is just so great. The writing is genius, the humor is original and very funny, and all of the characters bring pieces of perfection to the show. I laugh so hard watching it.

And of course, I had to catch up on the news so I watched The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Yep, that's where I go for news because unlike FOX news and even occasionally CNN (I like CNN better can you tell?) the daily show has as it's description "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart... Current Events & Pop Culture News, Comedy & Fake News".

There is LOTS of fake news on FOX for sure..but they call it all real news.

I also get my news from TIME magazine and Christianity Today online, (the "Politics" blog on CT is especially good) both I consider credible news sources.

And finally, I watched the 60 minutes interview last night with Jack Abramoff. He's written a book titled "Capitol Punishment" its all about how easy it is to buy Washington...still to this day.

He was busted for it and now he's telling us, the people who elected senators and representatives to go to Washington to be our vote, our voice, that instead of doing the job we sent them there for, many of them are being bought by powerful lobbyist.

Big money owns Washington.

Duh! That's why people are so ticked off right now!

And people wonder why the "Occupy" movement has resonated with so many? Really?

I put the book in my amazon cart, cant wait to read it. I'm sure it will get me even more fired up.

Ok, gotta go back to bed. Doctor said I have Bronchitis and a Sinus infection so looks like a lot more boob tube watching is in my immediate future.

Maybe I'll get to watch all 53 episodes of Arrested Development.

..if only I had that Abramoff book already! I could be reading it instead!

The Story of the Sun-Maid and Juan Valdez

2011-10-31T10:48:00.000-05:00

She was lonely, this maiden who spent all her days holding a basket of grapes in the red world, guarding the Raisins.

Her long flowing hair was the color of darkest night, her skin a soothing shade of Alabaster. Her eyebrows sat as heavy frames above her perfectly almond shaped eyes.

She wore a large red bonnet that was the size of a small planet and for good reason, for she used it to store hand written little notes in.

Notes she had written over the immeasurable time she had spent holding the grapes, guarding the raisins in the red world.

Notes that contained her dreams, dreams of one day leaving the red world, dreams of being more then the eternal Sun-Maid Raisin lady.

Was she destined to stay trapped as the visual Icon of that delicious and timelessly healthy snack that is Raisins? Would she always be the pretty face of shrivelled grapes? Would she ever find love? How could she when she was stuck holding a basket of grapes in the red world?

Alone.

Then, one day while she stood guarding the raisins, there appeared to her a woman. She was standing tall, holding her fist high, her golden hair pulled up with a red scarf tied firmly.

"I am Rosie the Riveter! We can do it!" She heard the woman say.

And the Sun-Maid believed her. "We can do it! yes." She thought to herself.

She knew Rosie had been sent to her as a messenger of hope.

And as quick as she had appeared, Rosie was gone.

The Sun-maid wrote herself a note; "Rosie is right. We can do it." and she placed it in her large bonnet.

Then as she stood holding her basket of grapes and dreaming more dreams, there appeared to her two more ladies. One looked as dirt and the other as a queen, both held Swiffer mops.

The Sun-Maid asked them, "do you also come bearing a message of encouragement for me?"

The Queen like Swiffer lady said "yes, Swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning."

"I don't understand how that is something to encourage me."

"You will dear." The Swiffer ladies said to her as they disappeared.

She wrote herself another note "Remember Swffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning" and she stuck the note in her bonnet.

Then in a flash their stood before her a man..well maybe it was a woman? She wasn't sure, but she thinks it was a man.

His hair was as a ravens, he was tall and white as snow. He was dressed in a black suit that looked as though he were heading to war..a dance war. And on his left hand he wore a sparkling glove. He slowly lifter his hand from his crotch and the light bounced off the glove as the shining of the brightest star.

She shielded her eyes, for the glory of the glove was too much to bear.

"I am here to warn you Sun-Maid, as one who once believed but now knows better. On the other side you will hear "Pepsi's cool!" as I once said and believed in my time there. But then they caught my hair on fire and I became addicted to pain killers. because Pepsi is not cool!! It's evil! Coca Cola is really cool. This is all you need to know. Make note dear"

And in a flash, with a wave of his gloved hand, he was gone.

She again wrote herself a note, "Pepsi catches your hair on fire, Coca Cola is really cool" and she placed the note in her large bonnet.

Soon she received another visitor, this time it was a couple. A beautiful Indian woman and a tall, handsome cowboy.

The Indian woman spoke first "there is only one butter. I am that I am that butter"

"what's butter?" the Sun-Maid asked?

"You will see. You will see" she replied.

Then the handsome man coughed. A lot. The Sun-maid was sure he was about to pass out, but in between coughs he managed to say "I look tough and cool because I smoke cigarettes" then he coughed so hard he spit a large glob of fluid onto to ground. "remember cigarettes are sexy" he said finally between coughs. And with a puff of his cancer stick, they were gone.

And the Sun Maid wiped up the thick fluid the Cowboys cough had left behind.

She made another note, "there is only one butter, look for the Indian, and smoking cigarettes= cowboy who coughs a lot".

and again, she stuck the note in her bonnet.

Then a sequins induced light flashed before her and there again stood the gloved one, only this time there stood with him a crazy looking little man and a beautiful woman holding a bag of chips.

The gloved one spoke, "I forgot to tell you, stay away from this freaky dude. He will try to distract you from your one true love with his stunning good looks, great teeth and super sexy body but we don't even know who he is, all we know is he's crazy, hunts alligators, lives in the swamp and drives an 18 wheeler.
I have returned also to introduce you to what will be your source of nutrients while you are on the other side. Meet Santitas, she will feed you".

Then she spoke "remember this, there is only one authentic Mexican style tortilla chip."

Then the Sun-Maid saw the Swamp man attempt to jump toward her while saying, "I love you Sun-Maid lady woman!!!" the Santitas lady smiled at her, then up came the gloved one's shining hand, and then they were all gone.

The Sun-maid wrote herself another note "The Mexican lady will feed me, Swamp people are scary." and she placed the note in her bonnet with all the others.

And she continued doing what she had always done; holding the grapes, guarding the raisins in the red world, and she waited for another visitor. but none came.

She looked at her notes, she felt encouraged that she would soon leave this place but as time passed she started to lose hope.

For no other visitors came.

No one came to take her away from the red world.

Maybe it was all just a dream...

Then, when all hope had faded, she smelled the most wonderful aroma. One she had never smelled before. A scent that immediately aroused her senses. It was nutty, earthy and strong yet smooth.

She felt alive again. Hope had been rekindled.

She wondered where this most wonderful and beautiful smell was coming from.

Then she saw him. His face was as a comfortable blanket that wrapped her in a feeling of warmth and softness, inviting and stunningly handsome. He wore a hat, and in his hands he held that which brought forth the wonderful aroma.

"I am Juan Valdez. I am your destiny" he said.

"I know" the Sun-Maid replied.

Then they kissed and at the moment their lips met the world changed. Suddenly they were being transported together to another place, a blue, green, yellow, brown, many colored world where the Sun-Maid and Juan Valdez were free to love, have a wonderful life together and share their gifts of Sun-Maid Raisins and the best Colombian coffee, with others.

In this new world, the Sun-Maid laid down her basket of grapes, used a Swiffer to clean with, drank Coca Cola, and used Land O Lakes butter, while Juan smoked Marlboro cigarettes and kept her safe from Swamp people.

Many days she spent being very thankful for the day that this wonderful man with the creeper-stash on his face, came to her world bearing coffee.

"You had me at coffee Mr. Juan Valdez." She would say to him and smile.

and he would reply "I love raisin's in my oatmeal cookies".

and they lived happily ever after.

Hobbits not Cruise Empire!

2011-10-27T21:02:00.002-05:00

Empire magazine got the Hobbit's together for a reunion interview in celebration of the 10 year anniversary of the release of Fellowship of the Rings. (December will be 10 years since Fellowship of the Rings hit theaters)

I'm excited about this reunion, I will be very happy to read the interview and happy to read every word of Empire magazine's articles about the 10 year anniversary of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings.

But why is Tom Cruise the biggest thing on the cover rather then the Hobbits? I would think that Empire, of all publications, would "get it" but I guess not.

Obviously not.

I cant wait to geek out again in December 2012 when Peter Jackson's The Hobbit comes out. I miss Hobbits, Elves, Wizards and Dwarfs. I miss being taken away into Middle Earth.

I've got to start saving so I an go to New Zealand, November of 2012 for the Premier.

Yea, seriously Empire, Mission Impossible 4 is definitely not a better cover story then THIS anniversary.

Music Work Out

2011-10-23T20:49:00.000-05:00

I've been working out with a personal trainer for a couple weeks now.
She's my friend Daurie.
She's a great trainer.

But I only work out with her twice a week
so I have to work out on my own the other days.
I usually do The Biggest Loser workout on the Xbox.
But today I wanted to get the kids involved so I decided to run/walk for 30 minutes around our neighborhood.

I'm gonna admit something here, I've never ran/walked or anything with ear buds in, listening to music.
Granted, I don't like to do activities out side, it's hot, and things are blooming that make it hard for me to breath so as a rule, If I'm active, exercising or whatever, it's inside if I can help it.

But today I put on Dean's old iPhone,
turned on his iTunes,
put the ear buds in my ears,
hit shuffle and suddenly the world was set to a sound track.

This was my play list.
In this order...

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Welcome to the Jungle

Cowboy

Even Flow

Beat It

Tell me that aint a "pump you up-get you going" play list!

It was like I couldn't help but
jog, walk, fast walk, repeat.

Every song encouraged that.
Every song made me want to move.

By the time Beat It came on I was getting really tired and out of breath.

But then..
well there was a need for air guitar and dancing.
cuz' well, MJ was on.
But I was in the street.
of my neighborhood.
and it was daylight.
and my kids were with me.

So I danced and played air guitar all the way home.

Steele laughed.

Abel kept on running to his own music in his ears.

and E tried to distance herself from me and my invisible guitar.

I'm not sure that she will ever recover from the embarrassment.

It was a great work out!

Extra Musings: From the Set of Break Out Kings

2011-10-19T20:17:00.001-05:00

Is that Arron Domingue with the gun?

I tweeted these today from the set of Breakout Kings...

Sometime I think the wardrobe people on sets are mean, then I realize that I would be much meaner! Seriously.

I need to wear a sign on set that reads "I bite".

After 10months of doing movies, I'm starting to see a pattern, I'm always cast as the teacher, business woman, mom, but never "the hot girl"..

Excuse me old guy but sign out time is not like bar closing time, use your pick up lines on her after we all get signed out.

These tweets really do say way more then I can actually say here about life in Swamp-Hollywood, (the term "Swamp Hollywood" is a trademark of Carole Smith Turner Inc. and cannot be used without expressed permission of Carole Smith Turner Inc)

But if your an Extra, you might get my drift on some of them.

I love being an extra in movies, I really do love being a part of the movie making process. And one of the other things I love about it is the oh-so-interesting people who are swimming with me in the local talent pool ;-)

I like watching them.

We are a weird group, that is for sure...

Rather I should say, we are an "interesting" group :-)

I always come home with stories.

Today I was a pedestrian on the streets of New York City for the first day of shooting here in BR of the A&E TV series, Break Out Kings.

It's an extra special day because this is the first TV series to be filmed in Baton Rouge. (It used to be filmed in Canada up until this year when it moved here due to the great tax incentive that we offer.) It will film here through January so it will provide a lot of jobs for local actors and crew.

Mayor Kip Holden came by the set and the channel 9 local news was on hand to cover this historic day as well.

So, I think it's really cool to have been a part of this first day of shooting.

I'll have my more-of-an-inside-joke-that-only-extras-will-get set of tweets to remember it by now as well.

Oh did I mention the catering? The food today was SO GOOD!! It's nice to work with TV and movie stars, to act, to make great or even not so great film art, to play dress up, but how fondly I remember a shoot really always comes back to the food....and today the food was really good.

Cheers to Break Out Kings!

Who Cares?

2011-10-18T11:24:00.001-05:00

It's too outrageous to even believe....

In a May TV interview, former New York Giants star Lawrence Taylor was matter-of-fact about his rape of a 16-year-old girl, justifying himself because she was, after all, part of "the oldest profession in the world." Her hurt, her pain, meant nothing as long as his needs were met ... his only concern was for himself - that he'd have to answer to his wife.

His "punishment" was six years of probation and registering as a sex offender.

His life goes on ...

... her life is wrecked.

But who cares?

In August, a physician and former TV sportscaster, Marvell Scott, was given a misdemeanor sentence of 20 days community service for raping a 14-year-old child!

His career is unimpeded by such a trifling incident ...

... she will never ever be the same.

But who cares?

I care! And I know you care, too. These are crimes of child sex trafficking. Under federal law, these rapists could have gotten a much-deserved felony conviction and 10 to 15 years in prison. Under state law? A completely different story.

And here's why - most cases and dispositions happen at the local, not federal, level. And traffickers and buyers are smart ... they'll take their business to a neighboring state if the laws there are more relaxed.

Disgusting news like this is why, with the support of friends like you, we're working to change the climate in the U.S. so that such travesties cannot continue under weak state laws.

[Because you care for the ruined child left behind, please stand with me generously now to help defend our children from sexual predators and restore the victim to new life.]

We've undertaken the Protected Innocence Initiative - a state-by-state "report card" that will expose the injustices that exist in current state laws and light the fire of change.

Along with it, we've launched a nationwide public awareness campaign that features billboards that vividly proclaim, "This Man Wants to Rent Your Daughter" and ask, "Are You OK with That?!" Our prayer is that the flame will be fanned into fire by concerned activists like you and legislators in every state so that children don't suffer and monsters don't walk away free to buy again.

I ask you to join with us financially to help Shared Hope complete this intense research and costly project. I am convinced that it will change America, state by state ... including your own.

At the same time, through your compassionate support, we will continue in the important work of restoring lives around the world - reaching out to enslaved young women and girls ... and their innocent babies ... both domestically and internationally, and offering them rescue, restoration, safety, and hope.

Help us light the fire of change, in state after state, community after community, for the sake of America's daughters.

Linda Smith
Founder and President of Shared Hope International

No Girls Allowed in the Elephant Room

2011-10-13T16:02:00.000-05:00

Last year Ben Arment blogged about the first, The Elephant Room a one day gathering of high profile and influential church leaders, who get together to discuss issues that they classify as "Elephants in the room" in the church.

So I watched the clip of current and former pastors discussing theology and afterward I commented on the post, "Is the fact that there are no women at this event the real elephant in the room?" or something to that effect.

And he responded by saying it was for pastors and church leaders and by asking me why the church that I attend, HPC, didn't have any women speakers at the ARC conference that they had just hosted. (again, paraphrasing him and myself, not sure what exactly was said)

I replied that I was not an employee at HPC so I couldn't speak for them but I was happy to say that next years ARC conference had two women lined up to speak, Christine Cain and Priscilla Shier and I said, "having these ladies as speakers is progress, and I will take progress any day."

So I want to say right off that this post is not intended as a slam against The Elephant Room, yes I am publicly stating a disagreement that I have with it but my hope is that this post will lay out a case for progress.

According to Wikepedia...

"Elephant in the room" is an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.^[1]

It is based on the idea that an elephant in a room would be impossible to overlook; thus, people in the room who pretend the elephant is not there have chosen to avoid dealing with the looming big issue.

The other day I saw a blog post on Carlos Whittaker's blog, that was basically an ad for the new Elephant Room that will be coming out in January.

I watched the trailer and went to the site to read up on the event. I even went to a couple sites to read about the controversy surrounding the invitation of TD Jakes to the event.

But again, there were no women pastors or leaders invited to the event.

As expected, the comment section of Carlos's post immediately lit up with questions and/or comments concerning the lack of women, again, at this gathering of leaders.

Matt, one of the organizers responded with this.. Well, as the host of the event, James McDonald has stated that the purposes to get PASTORS together to discuss relevant issues. James McDonald is a pretty open Complimentarian, so the fact that he hasn’t included any women shouldn’t surprise anyone. Why people get upset about that makes no sense to me. If an Egalitarian held a like event and included women pastors, why would people be surprised? Hosts can invite whoever they want.

He also post this..

While I don’t want to speak for anyone involved with the event, I think it’s because no one has even gotten into a discussion about Complimentarian vs egalitarian theology and had anything good come from it. The people in their camps, especially as pastors, aren’t going to change their mind or sway anyone else. And my assumption is that James McDonald decides the topics that are going to be discussed and then invites speakers based on that list. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if at a future event he opens up the debate and invites a woman pastor, or at least someone with egalitarian views.

I appreciate Matt's reply, it seems honest and straight forward. And I am glad to see that he thinks it may be opened up in the future (although as he stated, he can't speak for the organizer) to women or egalitarians.

But I'd like to dissect what he said and what The Elephant Room web site states as its "purpose statement" for this Elephant room.

First off, Matt says,

James McDonald is a pretty open Complimentarian, so the fact that he hasn’t included any women shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Why would a complimentarian have a problem with having a women leader be a part of the discussion? I know they believe that women have very designated rolls and I know that some, like Mark Driscoll, don't believe that women should teach men at all, but do they also believe that a female church leader, even one who strictly teaches only women, would have nothing to contribute to a conversation with other male church leaders? Is a woman's opinion, even when they are as educated or more educated perhaps then the men she is having a discussion with, only allowed if offered from her designated spot standing over a sink full of dishes or from the passenger side of a vehicle? Or is it that they believe a women should not be allowed to contribute to a conversation of "leaders" at all?

I am honestly seeking the answer to this question.

If that is the case then I'm all for their right to believe what they want, but I think it's disingenuous to sell an event with lines such as.."..the best way forward for the followers of Jesus lies not in crouching behind walls of disagreement but in conversation among all kinds of leaders about what the scriptures actually teach.."

But Matt points out, when discussing the issue of Complimentatrian vs Egalitarian, The people in their camps, especially as pastors, aren’t going to change their mind or sway anyone else.

So does he not see that the very same thing could be said about all of the other issues being discussed in The Elephant Room? I thought the purpose was to address hard issues that everyone wants to avoid, the hard issues, you know, the Elephants in the Room?

And if THIS isn't an Elephant in the Room, I don't know what is.

At the end of the Purpose Statement it says..

Look for guests from all places and belief systems. Don’t be surprised if you hear a conversation with someone that offends you or denies the faith as you see it. If the conversation can be helpful, clarifying, insistent or illuminating, or if we hope it will be . . . you will find it in the Elephant Room.

If the above quoted statements are indeed the purpose of the event, then a women leader should be welcomed (..hear a conversation with someone that offends you or denies the faith as you see it..) and the huge Elephant of the role of women in church, should be one that is discussed (If the conversation can be helpful, clarifying, insistent or illuminating) based simply on the stated purpose of this event.

The people of Epic After School

2011-10-12T07:58:00.000-05:00

This is Eric (my Evangeline is behind him :-) Eric started coming to after school in 2008 when he was 14. A few times over the years he has been homeless, failing out of school, with no money or place to live and being pulled by his peers towards the streets. But some men took him and his twin brother under their wings and the boys got GED's, jobs, purpose. They started studying Gods word, got plugged in at church and now, three years later, Eric and his brother help lead the after school program.

This is Paul, leader of the Epic After school Program, talking with two of the boys who he connected with in 2008, that are 18-19 years old now but still come around to play ball and hang with him. They know we are here for them, the DC is here, Paul is here.

This is Kelvin. One day he told Mrs Chris, who runs the computer lab at after school, that he wanted to do a digital map project to help combat all the violence he sees around his home. He loves working on the computers.

This is Beau wrestling with Oris, (who is Kelvin's older brother). Beau is 28 years old. He used to be involved in all kinds of criminal street thug activities, and it landed him in prison a few years ago. That was his wake up call, now Beau is on his second year at Healing Place School of Ministry and he works with Paul overseeing the Epic After school program.

This is Troy. Troy gives off a cold, guarded exterior but once you break through that tough shell, you see there's a kind sweet boy in there. He's really blossomed since coming to the program last summer.

Nicholas, the tall one, has been a part of the after school program since 2008, now he brings his little brother with him.

John (with the backward ball cap on) is a Healing Place School of Ministry Intern. He's playing ball with some of the leaders and kids from the neighborhood.

These are some of the girls who've recently started attending the after school program.

These little guys wanted to come in but they are too young (the program is for ages 10-18) It broke my heart to have to turn them away. I told them to come on Sunday, they said they would. Telvin, Trayvon, Coby, and Travis left sad, looking longingly at the door into the Epic After school program as they turned to walk home. I'm praying that soon, we will have something for them as well on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons.

If you would like more information about the Epic After School program at the Baton Rouge Dream Center, or if you would like to volunteer, please contact paul.trahan@mac.com

Help Us get a Foster Care Initative Grant

2011-10-11T13:50:00.004-05:00

A child opens a gift he received at an HPServe Foster Care party. YOU could make fun times like these possible for more kids simply by providing your email and/or voting...

From my friend Bethany who works for HPServe at Healing Place Church...

Healing Place Serve has submitted a grant request to Albertsons for $10,000 to help the foster care youth in our state.

These kids have so many basic needs that go unmet, and they need our help!

We are very close to winning the $10,000 but we need a lot more votes. We are in 10th place now, and if we are in the top 6, we get the $10,000.

We are doing all we can to make it really easy for you to help us.

All you need to do is send your email address to Bethany Wray at bethany.wray@hpserve.org.

We will register you with the grant site. Once your email is registered, you will receive a verification email.

All you need to do is click on the link in that email from Albertsons.

At that point, we will take over. You will not have to do anything else!

Voting goes on through October 15, so we need the emails as soon as possible.

Healing Place Serve has volunteers to place your votes for you.

YOU WILL NOT GET SPAM OR OTHER EMAILS FROM ALBERTSONS.

I can attest to this, I have registered my email and have received nothing from them beyond the verification email.

We need TONS of email addresses to WIN!!

Please email bethany.wray@hpserve.org with any and all email addresses that you and your family have, so we can get this grant to serve foster care youth!

I'm doing it, will you please please please? YOU could be a part of changing the life of a kid who is in foster care here in the Baton Rouge area simply by voting.THANK YOU ;-)

Because The Boys in the Hood are killing Each Other

2011-10-07T08:19:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago two of the boys that attend the after school program at the Dream Center were shot and killed in gang retaliations.

One of the boys used to bring a bunch of younger kids from the neighborhood with him to the program.

He was 16 years old.

When Pastor's Hope and Craig went to see his mother after the shooting, they found out that she had lost her only other son to gang violence only a couple years ago.

Neither boy had a father in their life.

We are losing a generation of black men to the streets, prison, and death.

Just a few months ago we held a funeral at the Dream Center for another boy killed from gang violence.

THAT is why we have an after school program at the BRDC.

The fatherless generation is out of control in the inner city.

The men are gone, the women are having babies when they are just babies themselves and the streets are taking these boys and girls and raising them.

All because the fathers are gone.

The streets are where fatherless kids go to find father figures, family, acceptance and sooner then later, death or jail at a very young age.

We have the answer.

We are the hands and feet of Jesus.

All we have to do is just BE that in their lives.

Loving on these kids for just a few hours a month, spending even as little as 4 hours a month with them, helping them dream, has been shown to make a huge difference in who they become.

Who they trust.

Who they believe.

This generation needs more mentors.

I've seen the results of Mentoring.

I've seen boys graduate high school while being homeless, living in a motel, simply because a few men stepped up and said we will help you get a GED, help you get a job and a place to live. We will spend time with you.

I could show you boys and girls that are now leaders in the program, who were once at-risk teens being pulled by the streets.

But now, they believe in themselves, they see God has a plan for their lives simply because mentors spent time with them.

Would you pray about coming to volunteer at the After school program? Once a month, twice a month, every week, whatever you can.

If you can't come, would you pray about donating supplies for activities?

Contact paul.trahan@mac.com if you would like more information about the Epic After School program and how you can help.

About Me

2011-10-04T13:04:00.002-05:00

I took this idea from Jamie The Very Worst Missionary's latest post....

What am I about?

Music.
Live music almost always makes me tear up. I love good performances, entertaining ones, talent thick ones, worshipful ones, soft, hard, jazzy, funky, country, rock, I like it all at certain times. In my mind, life is set to music.

Singing.
I don't remember a time when I didn't sing. I love to sing.

Art.
I'm not dred-locked-pot smoking artsy. I'm shallow, what I like I like. I look at the painting I got from Teila (local artist who is WAY MORE AMAZING then she knows or gets credit for) and I wonder at it's greatness. I study it, it's hard to look away. It makes me think. THAT to me is good art, no matter what it is.

Laughter.
I love Comedians. Making people laugh is a gift, it's work, it's art. I marvel at the creativity and I love to laugh.

The dark places of the word.
When I'm stopping to give a pack of gum or a hygiene bag to a transvestite, a gang banger, a homeless man, a prostitute, a pimp, a thug, a teen age mom, when I'm handing a rose to a stripper while she's giving a lap dance, I feel alive. I don't feel fear. I feel alive. I know the darkness hates it and I love it.

Words.
Jamie said she was about words, I'm like that too. I love words. I like to make up new words. I make so many mistakes in my words, but how else can I learn unless I'm willing to say Hyper-bowl when it really is hyperbole? Out of the heart the mouth speaks, and my heart mispronounces a lot of stuff.

Talking.
I've said it before many times, I like to talk :-) But really, I like the realness of talking. I like that, after a while, if you get people talking, they usually get real. I like to say things that are provocative in conversations, even offensive, so as to get them to react rather then speak through their game face or their filter. I love using a conversation to get to the real person.

Books.
I love the smell of them, the look of them, the feel of them. I quit school in the 11th grade and before that I had failed the 6th grade and made D's and F's all throughout school. I know very little, but what I do know I owe to books.

Writing.
I have almost 500 blog post that are Saved to Draft, that I have never published. I have kept a journal since I was in the 6th grade because I love to write.

Dean.

My husband is my best friend. He knows me better then anyone in the world. I can tell him anything, and I do tell me everything. It's hard sometime but he is always understanding and loving.

My kids.
Each of them brings unique and wonderful lights to my heart, and a lot of the time, that light reveals nasty stuff in me. I am so thankful for my three wonderful gifts from God. I learn something from each of them almost daily. I just pray I can be the kind of parent that encourages and cultivates their spirit and does not crush it.

Nail Polish and Lip Stick.
I read last week in TIME magazine that in the past, during hard economic times, the sale of lip stick always increased while most everything else decreased. But now, during the current economic downturn,the sale of nail polish has surpassed that of lip stick. Lip stick is still on the increase but since we now have so many great nail enamels available, during this tough time, we've resort to polishing our nails more then glossing our lips. I love both. Just yesterday I bought some purple AND some gold nail polish so I can do both colors on my nails for the LSU game this weekend against the Florida gators, and I also bought some new red lip stick.

Walking with Jesus.
I leave Him behind more often then I care to admit, I get distracted by something on the side of the road, I pick up loads that I'm not meant to carry and they slow me down, I stop to talk to someone too long, or I look back to much, but he's always there, with his hand out, ready for me to grasp it again and resume our walk together. Everything "About Me" is about walking this road that he has laid out for me WITH Him. The best times are when we are walking together, him and I, singing songs, admiring great art, laughing, telling stories, reaching out to crack heads and stripper, loving my husband and kids, polishing my nails and putting on lip stick. He's what it's all about and He's apart of all of it.

Are you a Leader?

2011-10-03T14:53:00.003-05:00

I was reading Jamie The Very Worst Missionary's blog yesterday and I almost shouted out loud when I read this on her recent blog post titled About Me...

I'm not about leading.

But I am aboutinstigating.I'd rather we walk alongside each other in this life, thanone in front of the other. But, if I see that you need a push, I'llget behind you... and I hope you'll do the same for me.

I'm about words. All of them. Even theones you don't like.

I'm about people.

I'm not about turning people intoprojects. If I'm spending time with you, it's because I like you.

If more "leaders" especially wanna be leaders, in the church would grasp this concept then maybe we wouldn't need so many books, seminars, lectures, and conferences on leadership and for leaders.

Do what you do, if it's worth following then people will follow you.

Don't use what your doing as a stepping stone to get "to the next level" ( I hate that term).

Better yet, as Jamie said, how about getting BEHIND people and giving them a push instead of trying to get them to follow you?

How about instigating people to grow closer to God through your daily life rather then looking behind you to see how many people are following you?

How about treating people as, well, people instead of projects or seat fillers or notches on your belt?

But there is no glory in that kind of life, in real Jesus style leadership. There are no notches for belts or people to call yours, there is just doing, loving, being, and that is not what the American church teaches as important.

Think about it.

A servant leader doesn't have to call themselves a servant leader, he just is one and he isn't even aware of it if he really is one.

Do you think that Mother Theresa was concerned at all with being a leader?

Lazy Writer

2011-10-02T19:46:00.000-05:00

I embarked on a new project recently.
I typed up a fancy email to send to some people that I would like to participate in it.
But
I mistakenly sent the first draft.

Yea, the one with all the stuff you delete or change in the second draft.
I sounded like an idiot.
I put some big words in there and too many words.

And I call myself a writer.

I read TIME magazine.
The articles are so well written.
Reading it affirms my belief that I am a lazy writer.
If I would just take the time needed....
But I don't.
I'm not thorough.
I lean toward knee jerk, not thought out and carefully considered.
The first draft I sent was a mistake of me not taking the time to read it again to make sure I was sending the one I wanted to send.
Lazy.

I read blogs by real writers.
They say how they never send stuff in a knee jerk fashion.
They wait to post stuff like for a day or two.
They are not lazy writers.
I am.
I hardly even wait to post an entry.
So of course, I post blog entries and then I see typos and wording problems...
That I should have taken the time to fix before hitting "publish".

Besides my anger issues, my need for affirmation, and my inability to think I need to work out to lose weight, I feel sure that God wants me to concur my lazy writer issues also before he calls me home to heaven.

More about being In the Contraband Movie Trailer

2011-09-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

Ok people, Ya'll keep messing with me about how easy I am to miss in the clip. Look at this pic, see over the ladies shoulder? That's me!!

It's a blip, don't blink right at 1:26, look behind the lady when she asked "ever been arrested for sedition, treason?" right when she says "Treason" that's when I flash in the background.

I know it's quick, but hey, I'm in there, in the trailer of a movie, not just the movie so, that's freaky cool to me no matter if it's just a blip :-)

I filmed another scene, where I'm taking Marks pic, in the same office that's shown in the trailer. The camera was right behind my head. You actually see the pic that I took of Mark, it's on a computer screen, right after you see my blip (again, you can go read all about the day of filming HERE) I'm hoping that the back of my head makes it into the movie but even if it doesn't. THIS IS COOL!! Dean was also in this office scene, I hope we get to get a glimpse of him too when the movie comes out.

The scene that Abel and Evangeline were in is in this clip too, When he says "You think your the only guy here with a gun?" and they are fighting. That is the scene that the kids were background for. If they show the entire shot in the movie, I think we will see Abel riding by on a bike when Mark gets out of his truck to go confront Giovani Rabisi's character. I'm pretty sure E was way too far in the background to be seen.

Nathan and Esther and Meghan Matt all did a wedding reception scene in this movie too, so I hope they all are in the movie when it comes out.

I tell you what, that movie theater is gonna be CRAZY the night it comes out!!

I know a lot of Extras now from doing this for a while and most of them have seen themselves plenty of times on screen, they don't make a big deal out of it like I do, it's old hat to them now. But I'm not there yet AND this was my first gig. It was special then and it's special now and it will always be special because it was my first step into the world of movies...and it was a great one.

I keep saying that I'm just gonna get a t-shirt that reads "Ask me about the movie scene I did with Mark Wahlberg" I really do need to just go ahead and get it so I can talk about it even more :-)

January 13th, that's when Contraband comes out..come on January 13th!!!!

I'm IN The Contraband movie Trailer!!!

2011-09-29T14:10:00.000-05:00

I'm IN this movie trailer!!! It's quick so don't blink but look behind the lady when she asked "ever been arrested for sedition, treason?" at 1:26-28. I flash in the background!!!!!!

I am FREAKING OUT!!!

This was the first movie I ever did!! You can read about it HERE.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 13th, that's when Contraband comes out..come on January 13th!!!!

Angel was a Prostitute and a Daughter of God

2011-09-24T11:34:00.001-05:00

This is Kristan or as we knew her, "Angel".
She was a prostitute.
She was found murdered the other night, thrown by a dumpster beside the Motel 6.

This pic is from last Summer on midnight outreach.

The No Place Homeless breakfast team knew her well.
She lived at the abandoned car lot where many homeless prostitutes lived.
Where the No Place team brought her breakfast every Wednesday.

She came to the Dream Center once for a block party last fall.
Pastor Craig came and got me to talk to her.
A john had brought her to the block party because he was concerned for her he said.
She was very high that day.
She was hungry.
I remember her telling me how hungry she was.
We gave her some food, a drink, and prayed with her.
We tried to get her some help, get her to go to a shelter, but she wouldn't.

Over that last few years I know that a lot of people reached out to her.
Loved on her, prayed with her.
And did everything they could to meet her personal needs.
We gave her hygiene items, food, clothes,
and tried to help her leave the streets
but she never would.

THIS is why we do what we do.
This is why Healing Place has a Dream Center in the hood.
This is why we have Midnight outreach, homeless breakfast, block parties, street outreach, after school programs.
For the Angel's of the world.
Jesus loves the Angel's of the world,
and we are his body,
extending His hand to them.

We never know what day could be their last day,
or our last day.
I know she saw Jesus many times through all of the people that reached out to her.
I know I saw Jesus when reaching to her.
I pray she fell into His love and embraced it before she died.

Disney Channel Hair

2011-09-23T08:05:00.001-05:00

Without knowledge, the people parish.
Someone has to step up and say "hey, that Emperor is naked!" so others will be brave enough to state the obvious and go against the grain.
This is one of those times.
I will be that voice.
I will speak up and say what needs to be said,
This is THAT important.

For the love of all things right and holy,Disney Channel hair must be stopped!!

The hair extension brainwashing started slow enough.
Hannah Montanna wore a wig but when she was Miley, she also had long, full, flowing brown hair.
Provided to her by hair extensions.
Why couldn't Miley have normal length, normal thickness hair?

Maybe it was the whole Disney Princess thing.
Like on the cartoons, the animated princesses always have really long full hair.
So, yea, that made sense.
Disney wanted their real life stars to look like the fake, animated, not real princesses.
Ok, I get it now.

But then I noticed that Disney Channel started spawning a Stepford-wives Esq phenomena.

Back in my day, us girls had highly admirable hair idols, we dreamed of growing up and one day obtaining Playboy Bunny hair (Think Pam Anderson, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nichole Smith or the many other blond playboy bunnies) But their hair was easily obtainable with some bleach and hot rollers. (but getting boobs like theirs would cost you a couple thousand dollars)

Now, girls see Disney channel hair on every single show on the Disney channel AND every stinkin' disney movie!! Girls now are looking to have hair that really can only be obtained by purchasing clip in, glued in, or sown in hair extensions.

None of their hair would be good enough.
Unless of course they could purchase some extensions.

I think I've figured out the criteria; It has to be boob length, hit right at or below the head lights, slightly curled at the ends and bang free.

Healthy, shiny, long flowing Princess hair.

Why am I so worked up about this excessively long-United Pentecostal wanna-bes (without the high bangs and friz) hair?
What is provoking such an intense reaction from me you ask?
Well it's because I think this bull crap has just gotten out of control.

The other night I was on a movie set with a young female star, she was maybe all of 16 years old and at the most, 4 feet 11 inches tall and I kid you not, her hair was at least 3 feet of that!! Her clip in extensions were showing at one point and I was thinking "good lord! Why does that child have extensions? Her hair could be 2feet shorter and it would still be long and pretty!"

When a movie producer puts 3 feet of hair on a 4 foot 11 star, things have gone too far.

The Disney channel hair epidemic must be contained in the cookie cutter world of the Disney Channel, where all traces of originality have long since disappeared.

We mustn't let it spread out here in the real world.

Fight the man, I mean the princess.

Just say NO to the Disney Channel hair.

Movie Extra Musings, Bucket List Update

2011-09-20T18:52:00.001-05:00

I've now been an extra on 10 movies/TV shows since that January day when Mark Wahlberg touched my arm on the set of Contraband. (I'm still determined to get a T-shirt made that says "ask me about the scene I did with Mark Wahlberg" because I still like talking about it :-)

I consider "Movie Extra" as my job now. It's how I make my money.
It's crazy that "Movie Extra" could be my job title here in Baton Rouge Louisiana.

But Swamp-Hollywood is booming.

The other day on set, two local make up artist were complaining about how they got into the movie make-up biz so they could get work in Hollywood but all the movies are being made here now.

And it's true, This winter Quinton Terrintino, Leonardo Dicaprio and Will Ferrel, will all be making movies here.

The Rock, Nichole Kidman, Zach Efron, Matthew McConahay, Jennifer Lopez and Jason Stathom just wrapped movies here.

At any given time there are at least 10 movies/TV shows being filmed here.

I was thinking the other day about who else I would like to be in a movie with so I'm gonna update my bucket list.

I've gotten to do one with Mark Wahlberg (what, I already mentioned that? Opps ;-)

So here's the rest of the list:

Viggo Mortenson
Elijah Woods
George Clooney
Angelina Jolie
Julia Roberts
Keanu Reeves
Leonardo DiCaprio
Will Ferrell
Marisa Tomei
Meryl Streep
Sandra Bullock
Robert Downy Jr.
Tom Cruise
Brad Pitt
Robert Redford
Jeff Bridges
Bruce Willis
Samuel L Jackson
Ben Stiller
Paul Rudd

I know there are more but I can't think of them right now.

What about you? If you could be in a movie with anyone, who would it be?

I'm counting down the days until Contraband hits theaters on January 12th 2012. That is the first movie I was an extra on and it will be the first to hit theaters. I just pray I didn't get cut, cuz' I will throw one heck of a hissy-fit in the theater if I did.

If you would like to see what movies are filming here, check out this link..http://louisianaentertainment.gov/film/default.cfm

If you live in the Baton Rouge/New Orleans area and would like to be a movie extra, check out;

The Holding Tent on Facebook
follow @louisianaentbiz on Twitter
check out http://www.225alive.com/extras-casting-calls/
and register at each of the casting companies listed in my side bar under "Casting Agencies in Louisiana"

See you in the movies!

Monday Minutes: Movies, Music, Church and Politics

2011-09-19T12:30:00.000-05:00

Crazy Stupid Love is a great movie. Saw it last night with Dean. Laughed till I clapped. Marisa Tomei steals every scene she's in, as she always does no matter what movie or how small her part is. She SO deserved the Oscar she won for My Cousin Vinny. She's one of my favorite actresses. The entire cast is great. You should go see it. Good Stuff.

There are very few Christian music artist that I like, I can only think of three actually. One is Shaun Groves. He's one of the good guys. His blog has inspired me for years. You should go buy his new CD, Third World Symphony it's good.

Speaking of blogs, one I have discovered lately is Tamara Out Loud She cusses like J. John and my mother so churchy-clean folks be warned but her content is Godly and inspiring non-the-less.

little rant ahead...

and speaking of Churchy-clean folk, I just read that divorce is highest in the Christian denominations in the bible belt. Aren't we, here in the belt, the great defenders of one man-one woman marriage? Wasn't the movie Fire Proof funded by a Baptist church in Alabama? And don't all the "worldly" people live in Hollywood and New York? Certainly we who scream the loudest about biblical marriage aren't the ones failing at it more then ANY one else? To think!

Full-on rant now...

I really cant stand when someones says, in reference to their church, "this is the greatest church on the planet" or when people refer to a building as "God's house" in reference to the church they attend, that building. No God's house, his body, the family of God, is not your church or mine, it's not a building at all, it consist of every Jesus loving believer in the world. I detest that isolationist bull crap.

It's like the world is geting smaller and so are we...ugh! Don't drink the cool-aide.

Rants over.

Lastly, I've been officially politically labeled by the Pew Forum as a New Century Democrat. That's my "typeology" according to them. I consider myself more of a Republican leaning Independent ( I was a strict Republican for over 20 years) You can take the quiz HERE.

Growing Old Together

2011-09-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

I watched this video yesterday just like over 3 million other people did.
I later read that this couple has been married forever and are really great people.

I got a little teary watching the sweetness and the fun of this couple in this video.
How wonderful that they are so playful with each other.
How wonderful that they are still making each other laugh and he's still asking her to show him some boob.

Sunday will be Mine and Dean's 17th wedding anniversary.
I pray that when we've been married 50 years that we will still be laughing together, still going strong and that he will still be getting frisky with me like this old guy.

Death Makes Us Remember

2011-09-15T20:25:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was the four year anniversary of my friend George's death.
As the day was approaching, I felt it was near.
It's weird how that happens.
But I was on a movie set on Tuesday, and I let the day pass without remembering.
Then yesterday I was reading about a writer, blogger, named Sara, who is dieing.
A lot of bloggers and writers know her well, I don't.
But I felt their pain.
It made me remember George.
I miss him all the time.
I never see a guy mowing that I don't think about him.
Just the other day Evangeline and I were talking about him.

Almost a year ago our church family lost Jordan Gautreau, a young man who loved God and life.
It's still hard to believe he is gone.

When lights go out in this dark world, they leave a mark.
I never knew Sara the writer but by the looks of the outpouring of love, prayers and kind words expressed on many blogs, I see that she has certainly left a mark.

My aunt Sue died in June.
She loved God and was kind.
One day her daughter Sarah wrote me on Facebook, "Glad I got to spend time with you when you were here. Mom brought us all together again, I think that was her plan all along :-)"
Aunt Sue dieing did bring a reconnection between us all.
It made us remember that we are family.
That we need each other.

Recently I had the opportunity to grab onto bitterness, offense, anger due to a situation and in my pain, I considered it.
But through the grace of God I chose forgiveness.
It's easy to talk of dieing to self, loving unconditionally, walking in grace, etc.
But sometimes that is so much harder then the words we utter.
But then I remember death.
I feel the pain of missing George, my grandmothers, my aunt Sue, Jordan.
None of them died holding onto stupid offenses or even huge wounds inflicted by others.
It's not a cliche, it's true, life is too short and unforgiveness makes that short time miserable.

In the end, they held onto only love, forgiveness, grace.
They see clearly now and I still see through a glass darkly.
But I know that I want to live like I am dieing.
Like they did.
Like Sara the writer- that I don't know but I see her mark on others in her last days- is living and dieing.

My Review of "With" by Skye Jathani

2011-09-12T13:46:00.002-05:00

Skye Jethani's book, The Divine Commodity, is on my list of top 20 books, so when I heard that he was coming out with another book, I knew I had to read it. I ordered it as soon as it was available on Amazon and I read most of it last week while doing stand-in work on a movie set.

You know how when your reading a good book and you have to stop but your always thinking about getting back to it? That's how I was with this book.

Jethani spends a lot of time on the four postures prevalent in Christianity, which are;

Life under God promotes moral certitude in a culture that can no longer define right and wrong. It tells us that obeying divine commands will be our anchor in these volatile times.

Life over God the non atheist version, says hope will come from employing God's principles in your life. You can navigate to safe harbor if you just use the right charts.

Life from God places hope in the process of self-actualization. Purpose comes from identifying and then fulfilling ones desires.

Life for God finds hope in devoting ones life to the accomplishment of a purpose greater then one's self. Mission is the anchor that will give you meaning and significance.

He delves into why these are not necessarily bad but these postures apart from life WITH God are motivate more by fear or a need for control rather then being motivated by the love of God in us.

I related most to the Life FOR God posture. I realized that the fear of leaving this life without making an impact FOR GOD is what motivates me a lot of the time, and it is a fear, and the bible says that perfect love cast out ALL fear.

The most stabbing words in this book came from the paragraph where he talked about people who serve, give their time, work hard for the kingdom but are stressed, angry, not nice. That is me a lot of the time. Think about the people you know that do so much FOR God but they are not peaceful, they are not nice to their family when they come home, are not kind people. It's because they are living FOR him but not WITH him.

When you first start reading this book you may think that he's talking against Christians who want to be more "radical" in their lives which is the trend in a lot of churches right now. As someone who considers herself an activist, I love the current push toward helping orphans, feeding the hungry, and servant evangelism. But what he is saying concerning this is that good works that leave a lasting impact for the giver and the recipient, really come down to pure loving motivation. If we are radical out of fear of insignificance, then that is not going to last, it will not fulfill our deepest longing for connection WITH God. We will burn out or walk out works and legalism, motivated by a bondage to fear of insignificance and leading to nothing more then a resume, not a relationship with God.

After seeing myself a lot in the Life FOR God posture, I wanted to know how to really live WITH God, not just For God. I was happy to see that he doesn't give the tidy and legalistic leaning "step 1, 2 and 3 of how to pray" type answers, that never stick with me, instead he gives suggestions of how to pray, he explores attitudes of pray and what it means to be in constant communion with God and he talks about several people who made communing with God their life and how they did it.

The entire message of this book is punctuated near the end when he explores 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter.

Read it at face value, not through a wedding or marriage filter, but as Paul talking to us about love, real love, God who is love, having Him, that love, in our lives, walking with that love and it being our motivation...

1 Corinthians 13 (NIV)

¹ If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Paul is saying that this is the only thing that will last. Love. This is where we have to live, IN love WITH God.

I highly recommend this book.

Vanity

2011-09-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I joined Planet Beach...again.
I was a member two years ago for the tanning.
I got really tan.
Dean LOVES me to be tan.
He loves it.
But Planet Beach is not just a tanning salon, no, now it is a Con tempo Spa.
So I joined for the Hydration Station, the Mystic Tanner, the Message chair, the facials and anti aging light station.

I also went and got more of the CTS360 weight loss supplement that I've been using.
You thought I had lost that whopping 6lbs in four months just by cutting out bread?
No sir. I've been taking a supplement since June.
Middle-aged lady fat likes to hang on for dear life.

There are kids starving, wars going on, people homeless on the streets and I feel the need to pay monthly to get a fake tan, use lights and fancy creams and lotions to fight aging and use a vitamin supplement to help me lose weight.

Yep, I'm just that shallow.

See, I'm not really an activist, I'm as bad as the welfare mom that I saw yesterday getting a $100 tattoo, the redneck buying $400 Tommy Hilfiger overalls for his girl friend while driving a car with expired tags and the business man driving a $100,000 car that he cant afford gas or insurance for now so other business men who drive cars they cant afford will think he's important and want to be like him.

We are all Vanity butt kissers in one way or another.

Reading "With" on the Set of "The Paper Boy"

2011-09-07T20:58:00.000-05:00

I sat in my Dr. Pepper folding chair that I brought from home,
behind a few make up artist that waited for between takes when they would run in and check to see if the actors needed their make up freshened up.

They talk about eye make up while they wait.

The hair stylist are near by also. They discuss whether or not a character will wear a hat during the wedding scene next week.

"Rolling" the AD and everyone else with a head set on says loudly across the set. This is the cue for all of the chatter to stop. The mics on set pick up everything!

Everyone stops talking.
We all sit quietly.

My head is buried in the book that I brought with me to set, "With" is the name of the book. It's by Skye Jathani.

I read.
I underline.
I draw stars around paragraphs.

"The temptation within activist streams of Christianity is to put the good mission of God into the place God alone should occupy...this is the first failure of LIFE FOR GOD-it puts God's mission ahead of God himself"

I ask myself, "Is that me?"

"Cut" I hear from all the ear-piece-clad crew members that stand around me.
The chatter starts again.
I don't look up much.
I continue to read.
I underline more.
and draw more stars around paragraphs.

The director comes close by and starts to discuss the next days scene with one of the main actors.
I'm distracted from my reading.

I decide to go pee and get something to drink.
Coffee with a pack of Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa mix in it. I decide that if I ever had a personal assistant like these big dog actors do, I will make this my "special request"...

Mrs, Turner request CC's espresso roast coffee that is ground to a powder just before brewing- five scoops of coffee to four cups water. Served to her as soon as brewing is complete with 1 pack of Swiss Miss Cocoa mix added.

This drink is perfect on this cool morning. The first snap of Fall is here thanks to the recently departed tropical storm.
I'm wearing a sweater.
The heat from the coffee cup feels good in my hand.

Back at set I get comfy again in my Dr. Pepper chair, holding my coffee/hot cocoa,

I continue reading.
I underline more.
I draw more stars around paragraphs.
I instagram pictures of sections that make me want to shout "Amen" and "Dang!"
Because I cant scream it out like I'd like too.
If I even said it out loud, it might invite conversation, which I don't want.
I like to be quite on the set, which they ask anyway but most people don't do it, but I want to be professional and do a good job, so I really try not to talk unless I have too. That's why I bring a book, keeps me quiet.

"2nd unit to set" I hear Angel, the bearded second assistant director with the sweet boyish face and smiling eyes say.
That's my cue.

Down onto the chair go my book, my blue reading glasses and my blue pen. I've lost my highlighter somewhere in the van and I miss it. I like to highlight AND underline.

I head into set with the other Stand-ins as the main actors head out.
The scene blocking doesn't take long, soon I'm back to my chair, my coffee, my book and my heart getting shredded by the description of people who live

LIFE FROM GOD,
LIFE UNDER GOD,
LIFE OVER GOD,
LIFE FOR GOD.

"Life FOR God takes our fear of insignificance and throws gasoline on it. The resulting fire may be presented to the world as a godly ambition, a holy desire to see God's mission advance-the kind of drive evident in the apostle Paul's life. But when these flames are fueled by fear, they reveal none of the peace, joy, or love displayed by Paul. The relentless drive to prove our worth can quickly become destructive...This work was to be accomplished in perpetual communion WITH God, and it was to be motivated not by fear of insignificance, but by the assurance of God's love for us."

"Carole and Robert" Angel says to me while nodding affirmatively that both I and the crew he is talking to on the head set, heard him.

I once again lay my stuff down in my chair and head to set to block another scene.
I sit on a desk, just as the actress did, I turn, walk out the door, also as she did. The camera men choose the right lens, check the lighting by my face, etc.
The set is ready for the actors to return and do the scene.

I go back to my chair and to reading.
-------------------------------------------

These last 2 days I spent surrounded by Oscar winning directors talking shop with Oscar winning actors and heart throb movie stars.
I once again had to pinch myself at the fact that I get to do movies.
I truly love it.
And in the down time, while sitting quietly in my Dr. Pepper folding chair, reading With by Skye Jathani, God did some hard digging on my heart.

I'm back home now.
Reading "With".
In my normal reading spot, propped up on pillows in my bed.
I'm underlining.
I'm drawing stars around paragraphs.
I've found a highlighter and I'm putting it to use..

I'm on the chapters now about how to live life WITH God, not For, From, Over or Under Him but WITH him.

I'm ready.

(I will post a complete review of the book after I'm done, which will hopefully be by this weekend)

Thursday Thoughts: Movies and Music

2011-09-01T08:48:00.002-05:00

Evangeline and I watched the movie, Exit Through the Gift Shop, last week. If you have Netflix you can watch instantly right now. It's about street artist. Fascinating subject, amazingly creative "Documentary". I'm glad I didn't know much about it before I watched it.

Her and I also went to see the movie The Help the other night. I started crying at about 30 seconds in. Yea, no joke. I loved the movie! My favorite character was Celia Foote. The actress that played her, Jessica Chastain, did a great job. And that little girl, lord help us, every time she was on screen I was crying! It's still so hard to fully grasp that people were treated so badly by other people in the not so distant past. I'm glad that Evangeline "gets it" more then I did at her age. Movies like The Help show us that we have come far, yet we still have far to go. Come awards season, I will be shocked if The Help doesn't get nominated for a ton of awards. It should.

I just received the first season of Entourage on DVD. I knew I had to watch it after seeing an interview with Mark Wahlberg where he said that all the characters and the subject matter were based completely on his life when he first came to Hollywood. Cant wait to start watching it.

I think the three days I spent on the set of The Paper Boy left a lasting impression. The movie is set in 1969 so as a stand-in I got to wear a vintage shirt, which got me wanting some vintage clothes of my own. So last week E and I went to Time Warp boutique here in BR on Government Street and I bought this dress. It's from the 60's. I look good in 1960's attire. I need more.

Last night I went to Thibadoux LA to be an extra on the feature film, Parker, staring Jason Statham and Jenifer Lopez. Also doing background work on the movie last night were 69 members of the Thibadoux High School band. We were all to be part of a parade scene. By the time I arrived at 3:00pm, they had already been waiting for two hours and by 5:00pm they were getting really bored and antsy as any teenagers would. (But they were still very well behaved. Great kids) So their director decided to have them practice some songs for us. They did 6-8 songs and when they were done I knew exactly why this movie had chosen them to be the marching band in the parade. They are amazingly talented.

I really don't know why music brings me to tears but it does. Especially music done by kids.

Check out some of the pictures I took of them while they were performing for us and dancing for us.

SO fun!! By far the most fun I've ever had while waiting in an Extra Holding area.

I tweeted this last night while I was there waiting to go to set, "There's always a weird annoying talker in Extra holding. Extras as a rule are weird..wait I'm an extra." Yea, I get it.

Tomorrow Dean and I are off to Dallas for the weekend with our friends Nathan and Esther. The guys are going for the first LSU game of the season. Esther and I are going for the motel, sitting by the pool, site seeing, shopping, and more. I'm so ready for a relaxing weekend away.

Dean said we HAVE to go to Billy Bobs Friday night so I'm bringing my cowboy boots and short blue jean skirt (it's right about the knee, I don't do "short" ;-). We are thinking we will try to catch some live music somewhere, Hopefully I wont tear up.

Have a great weekend!

Here Comes the Sun

2011-08-30T07:38:00.000-05:00

before.

After.

This "canvas" is a framed wood panel from the BR Dream Center. I have a few of them that we found in a pile of crap up in a storage room. They used these panels like huge plaques in honor of church members that had died. (If you look at the "before" picture, you can see some of the little metal name plates stuck on the bottom corner.)

I wish the quality of the picture was better but I took them with my 3g iPhone. The yellow is brighter and it's trimmed in a pale green.

Not sure what I will do with this painting..something to raise funds for the DC.

As with most everything I paint, I saw a little of it before I painted it, God's inspiration I call it.

Not long after I saw the image in my mind I heard the Beatles song, "Here Comes the Sun" playing there also. So of course I had to purchase that song on iTunes...which led to me purchasing the entire White Album and Abbey Road :-)

Sharon the Prostitute

2011-08-26T07:57:00.004-05:00

I first met Sharon three years ago on Midnight Outreach. Her and a friend were working north Airline Hwy, a known prostitution track. I noticed her immediately because she had the most beautiful long, wavy, carrot red hair. She told us that she was a backslid Pentecostal. She said she knew Jesus and prayed everyday. She let us pray with her and she said she would come to church the next Sunday.

Alliece, who was the leader of Midnight Outreach, had to tell me that Sharon was a prostitute because she didn't "look" like one to me at the time. She was so pretty. She had that "girl next door" look.

That night Sharon told us that she was 18 years old.

I've seen Sharon several times over the last few years. I would look for the red hair as I drove down Airline. Each time that I've seen her she has looked worse and worse. One time when I saw her her face was covered with sores and her body looked so emaciated from the drugs. Her red hair was shorter, matted, dyed dark with what looked to be a cheap rinse. I could see the vibrant carrot red trying to peak out.

Then last Spring I saw her working Airline Hwy. I stopped to talk to her, she was walking very fast away from a john, she kept glancing back at him, Her face was swollen from a fresh hit, given probably by him. I asked her about it and she said it was a bug bite. I offered to take her to the hospital, she refused. I told her she could come to the Cafe and get some free coffee, food, clothes, bandage for her face, access to resources around town that could help her. She politely took the card and said she would check it out one day.

Then when I was working for the Street Outreach grant at the Dream Center last fall, I went looking for Sharon, and I found her in her normal area. When we stopped to talk to her and give her a bag of goodies, she again told me how she was a backslid Pentecostal and how she felt sorry for the girls "out here" that don't know Jesus at all. I told her that Jesus will meet her right where she is and He loves her no matter what. I again asked her if she needed anything and she said no, I also invited her again to come see us at the cafe for some free cloths and stuff. She said she might, like she always does.

Before we parted she said "ya'll pray for me please" I said "Let's pray now" she looked back at the john waiting for her on the porch of the house, "Uh, well I gotta hurry up, he's gonna let me use his phone". I told her I would be real fast as I put my hand on her shoulder and she moved in closer, letting me know she was willing to let me pray for her quickly. I asked God to surround her with His love. Love that heals. I asked Him to show her that she is a daughter of God, with a divine purpose, a beautiful daughter and her heavenly father loves her.

I choked back the tears as I finished the prayer.

"Bye ya'll" she said looking back over her shoulder as she walked quickly to her waiting john.

A while back I was in a meeting with Alliece, we were talking about effective ways to reach out to prostitutes working on the streets. She suggested one way was for me to get a bag and fill it with hygiene kits and keep them in my van so that when I stop and talk to the Sharon's of the world, I have something to give them that they need. So that's what I did.

Each zip lock contains some soap, a toothbrush that already has tooth paste on it, some bug repellent, some crackers, breath mints, a flier with information about all the services offered at the Dream Center and a Dream Center card. I have given out many of these bags over the last couple year. They are great conversation starters and one lady that we know of, came to the Dream Center and went thru the Step Out Program to get into a rehab facility.

But the last time I saw Sharon was almost a year ago on Midnight Outreach. She was high,walking her normal track. She had several teeth missing, and looked really awful. She said she had just gotten out of jail and she cried telling us how the guards and people in jail had raped and abused her. She kept saying "It was bad, so bad, so bad. They hurt me...so bad" She was soaking wet with sweat. We didn't care, many of us hugged her, held her and prayed with her. I told her she had to get off the street or it was gonna kill her. I offered to help her. But as usual, she said she would come to the Dream Center Cafe..one day.

Lately I have been very concerned for Sharon. Every day now I feel compelled to pray for her. I fear something terrible has happened. I know the police did a big prostitution sting about 6 months ago and they arrested a lot of them, and of course only a few John's were arrested because that's just how it goes. I looked for her name in the police reports (sharon is not her real name, I just use it on here) but I didn't see it. But I wonder if she's back in jail getting raped and beat up?
If your reading this, would you take a minute and pray for Sharon? Pray we find her again. Pray she's ok. Pray she comes back to Jesus.

God be with her. Show her your true, real, gentle and kind love. Help her Jesus.

UPDATE: I received word Friday that there's a good chance she is in parish prison and pregnant. She fits the description of a girl by her name that is there. Should find out for sure if it's her by Wednesday.

Will Ferrell AND Leonardo Coming to Swamp Hollywood!

2011-08-25T10:25:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago I told Dean "I'd love to do a movie with Will Ferrell". We own almost all of his movies. We quote them on a regular basis.

And everyone knows that Leonardo is right below Mark Wahlberg ( I was in a scene with him, he touched my arm and talked to me, in case your new here and haven't heard :-) on my list of stars I want to be in a movie with.

Now it looks like the chances of that happening are getting really good...

First this from http://www.nola.com/movies/index.ssf/2011/08/will_ferrell_zach_galifianakis.html

No joke -- A-list funnymen Will Ferrell ("Anchorman") and Zach Galifianakis ("The Hangover") are headed to New Orleans to shoot their next movie, "Southern Rivals," a film set in the comedically fertile world of modern politics.

And then this from http://www.nola.com/movies/index.ssf/2011/08/quentin_tarantinos_django_unch.html

A-list cast, which includes Leonardo DiCaprio, Jamie Foxx, Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Costner and Christoph Waltz, details on "Django" have been scarce.... the New Orleans Office of Film & Video confirmed that the Crescent City will be home to at least part of the shoot.

It is on like King Kong in a thong singin' a song playin' Donkey Kong!!

This Too Shall Pass

2011-08-24T20:20:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up knowing today wasn't going to be a day like I would have it.
Don't you hate when you have that knowledge?
Don't you just wish you could "un-know" something?

But I got E up for school, cooked her breakfast, read some scripture, and asked God to help me not be a B#!ch today.

And I tried to not think about it.

And then I knew...

"This to shall pass".
I heard it in my heart.
I knew it.
He gave it to me.
And I felt better.

Then the boys got up, I fed them, got them off to school and then I got ready to take E to her Doctors appointment.

Stay busy, that's the key.

Then I looked at Instagram and I saw a picture of Proverbs 31:8 & 9,

8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
⁹ Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

And I teared up.
My friend Charity had posted it.
The conversation via comments on the photo went from there into out right preach.
Not bad churchy-annoying-preach but good preach.
The kind that ministers to your soul.
It was inspiring.
It was comforting.

He gave me that.

Because no matter if I feel crapped on today,
What I have got to know is what am I here for?
What am I here on this earth for?
That's what matters.
That scripture is what I am here for.
I know that.
I've know that for a very long time.
I get to do THAT.
My heart is full and alive because of it.

God sent me that comfort this morning and again he said, "This too shall pass".

It's not the end of the world.
I will get over it.
Wounds will heal.
Joy comes in the morning.

And right now, all I need to hold on to is "This too shall pass".

That's it.

Because my purpose in in tact.

I know I sound very dramatic, sorry, I just need to get this out.
It's nothing but sometimes what looks like nothing to everyone else,
can feel like everything.

So, I just gotta let it pass.

And when I feel I will burst if I don't freak out,
I will pray "please Jesus help me not to say something I can't take back while this too is passing".

I Love Lamp

2011-08-23T09:05:00.002-05:00

Like, Brent Tamlin, I too love lamp.
I don't have great lamps but I really do admire great lamps.

Look at this one from the 1955 movie, How to Marry a Millionaire,

The shade is as big as the mans Torso!

I noticed it right off, the first time I watched this movie many years ago.

All the furniture in that movie is so fine!!!

Last week while working on a movie set I almost lost my mind because the furniture was so cool!!
The movie is set in the late 1960's so all the furnishing was Mid Century.

They had the coolest lamps!!

I asked the set director if they were selling any of the stuff after they wrapped but he said no, it was all rented.

bummer.

While we were sitting on set, doing our stand-in thing, I was looking, studying intently all the furniture.

I love Furniture.

I wish I could afford cool lamps.

See, I am anti-overhead lighting.

VERY anti-overhead lighting.

I hate it.

I love how lamps make a room feel warm and inviting.

When I walk into a home that has the bright over head light on, I automatically feel like I'm in a morgue and the homes occupants need really bright light to study my internal organs or something.

I honestly don't get how anyone could want the feel of an examination room in their living room, bedroom or any where really.

Except the bathroom, I get needing a lot of light in there.

I found some really cool lamps on Etsy.

I love them all!
But of course, none of them are under $200.
Nice lamps are expensive, that's why I don't have any..

But I do have a couple that are kinda cool.

Like this one. It's my favorite. It was buried in a room full of old furniture at the Dream Center.

And I've gotten creative on a few lamps.

This lamp was my grand mothers. It was like bronzy looking. I painted it black and put this small red lamp shade on it.

This is a lamp I made for Evangeline's room out of a $5 base, a cowboy hat that we got from Mexico that doesn't fit on any of our big heads, and a bracelet made of tiny High heel shoes that we got from a Mardi Gras parade. The red bulb ads just the right effect to this tacky goodness.

Stand-in

2011-08-21T20:19:00.001-05:00

I spent three days last week on a movie set being a stand in.

When a friend asked me what a stand in does, I joked that I was a butt double for an actress. (Ha! If you have seen my butt, you know why this IS a funny joke :-)

No seriously, this is how Wikipedia describes a stand in..

A stand-in for film and television is a person who substitutes for the actor before filming, for technical purposes such as lighting.Stand-ins are helpful in the initial processes of production. Lighting setup can be a slow and tedious process; during this time the actor will often be somewhere else. Stand-ins allow the director of photography to light the set, the camera department to light and focus scenes. The director will often ask stand-ins to deliver the scene dialogue ("lines") and walk through ("blocking") the scenes to be filmed. In this way, a good stand-in can help speed up the day's production and is a necessary and valuable cast member on a film.
Stand-ins are distinguished from body doubles, who replace actors on camera from behind, in makeup, or during dangerous stunts. Stand-ins do not appear on camera. However, on some productions the jobs of stand-in and double may be done by the same person. In rare cases, a stand-in will appear on screen, sometimes as an in-joke. For instance, the actress who pretends to be Ann Darrow in the stage show during the final act of King Kong (2005) is played by Naomi Watts' stand-in, Julia Walshaw.
Stand-ins do not necessarily look like the actor, but they must have the same skin tone, hair colour, height and build as the actor so that the lighting in a scene will be set up correctly. For example, if the lighting is set up with a stand-in shorter than an actor, the actor might end up having his or her head in relative darkness.
Stand-ins are also used for animated characters in a Live Action film, sometimes with life-size character models, so that the animators know where to place their animation and how to make them move realistically, and for actors to know where to look. In these cases, skin-tone and hair colour are not so important. Height and build, however, are still important for any interactions between Live Action and Animated characters.
Some celebrities mandate that they will always have the same stand-in. Famous cases include Pluma Noisom (stand-in for Claudette Colbert) and Adam Bryant (Robin Williams).

I have to say, I love this movie making stuff. Being a stand in is a new thing for me. It's next level for sure. You eat with the crew. Get paid more. Get called by name. I could get used to this. But I shan't 'cuz it don't last. I will get to do a few more days as a stand-in for this actress, and I may get to do it for another actress in the future but by September I will be back to being just a background extra like I was before. Which is cool, I dig it. I just like all the perks of being a stand-in better.

I completed the first phase of this Swamp-Hollywood gig as a stand-in on Wednesday and the next day I was back to my normal jobs of scrubbing toilets at the Dream Center and scooping kitty litter for a cat lady.

My reality is varied and extreme..
I lead such a glamorous life!

And I LOVE IT!!!

I Guess I'm Not a Feminist, Donald Miller Didn't Offend Me

2011-08-15T09:49:00.001-05:00

Last week Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, A Million Miles, and other GREAT books, wrote this bog post, How to live a Great Love Story, for The Girls it was the female side to his previous post titled How to Live a Great Love Story for the Guys.

I read both post. I liked them.

I liked the girl post so much that I sent the link to my niece Candice.

Sure, there were things in both post that I didn't agree with, things he said that seemed naive maybe but over all, I thought he did a good job of covering the reality of a single persons life in MTV America.

There are LOTS of slutty girls out there.

And there are lots of worthless guys.

But I guess I was supposed to get really offended by his post... That is if I were a real Christian Feminist.

Which I obviously am not since even after reading this post on Rachel Held Evan's site and then a few of her follow up post concerning this.

And also reading some of the "I'm so offended" comments on Don's posts and on her posts,

I went back and read both of his post again cuz' certainly I had missed something.

Rachel Held Evans is a well respected Christian author, I really like her blog, she's young and hip and certainly I must at least be as upset with Don's content as she was.

I definitely must of missed something.

So I combed through the post reading intently, looking for something to offend me, maybe something that defined ALL women as needing a man to fulfill their story.

I didn't find it.

I found the words of a 30 something man who as a writer, is an acute observer of life.

I found the advice given in the post to be that which would be given if sitting around in a room full of friends and a girl were to ask "Don, as a guy, what do you think is the best way to find the right guy?"

I found the words of a man who recently found the love of his life, A man who can look back and say "I'm so glad that I never have to be there (dating) again".

I found the words of a thinker, and observer, a story teller who just wanted girls and guys to stop telling such crappy stories with their love lives and he gave his opinion on how to do that.

I agreed with him on much of the content.

I found nothing offensive.

And for all the uproar by Christian Feminist about "we don't need a man to make our story great" I want to know the percentage of these Christian Feminist who don't have a man? And the percentage of them that don't want a man to complete their story?

It's ridiculous.

Adam and Eve needed each other.

It's not anti-feminist to say we need each other to complete our story.

Sure, some of us don't need or what a man, and that's great. I completely believe that some people are called to be single. But to freak-the-geek out over his posts is just really ridiculous if you ask me.

Sadly, Donald Miller gave in to the Hysteria and took down both post.

He posted a very sweet apology to all that were offended.

That was very gracious of him.

Go read the post if you have time and tell me what you think. A reader saved it HERE so you can still see the entire post even though it is no longer up on Donald Millers blog.

Just a Prostitute

2011-08-15T07:31:00.000-05:00

I remember being at a convenience store in Houston Texas. I saw an older man who was very feminine with a much younger boy. The boy looked to be 16 years old if that. He also was very girlish, he looked high and his eyes seemed empty. He followed the older man around getting snacks that the older man pointed too. I thought “wow, the young guy looks like he could be his kid but something tells me it’s a sexual relationship, the way the older man is touching the younger boy.”Watching them gave me a sick feeling.

A few years back I was at the gas station here in town at around 2 in the afternoon. This gas station was located in a decent area. I was standing at the register waiting to pay for my gas behind a man that was at least 60 years old. When he approched the counter he bought two condoms. He then walked out to his car where a large transvestite “woman” was sitting in the passenger seat. He/she looked to be about 16 years old. They drove to the motel next to the gas station.

And then there is Laura. Laura died a few months back of AIDS. She was an alcoholic and a prostitute. Laura’s name on the streets had been “Trix”. She had lost several older kids to the state because of her life on the street but managed to keep her youngest daughter, Trina. Laura and Trina lived with a much older man that Trina called Daddy.

We first met Trina when she was 8. There had been a rumor that Laura was prostituting Trina out in the neighborhood.

If you saw Laura, Trina, the young feminine boy I met in the gas station in Houston, or the transvestite that was sitting in the passenger side of the car waiting for his john, how would you think of them?
They are all victims of the sex trafficking industry. ALL of them. A boy is taken, molested for years, accepts his life as a gay person and becomes the sex slave to an old man. An 8 year old girl is given by her mother to a man down the street in exchange for Crack, then she comes home to a “daddy” who gives her food, clothing and shelter in exchange for sex.

THIS is reality. We must start to see the victims of the sex industry for what they are. Daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, they need to be rescued, restored not shunned and looked down on.
The huge Human Trafficking awareness campaign that has emerged recently needs to lead to more then Hollywood movies like Taken . It needs to be looked long and hard at by the church. We have the information, we have no excuse, we must act.

The first step is changing the way we look at people in the sex trade. Over the last three years God has changed my eyes. I see a lady walking down the Highway in the heavy prostitution area, and instead of thinking “oh, she’s just a prostitute” I stop and hand her a card that has a Human trafficking hot line number on it and information about a place she can go to to get help. I tell her we can help her and want to help her. Even if she NEVER takes the help offered to her. THAT does not negate my responsibility to her. We can never assume we know how she came to be walking the streets selling her body for money. She could be one of these statistics…

14,500 – 17,500 – Number of foreign nationals trafficked into the United States every year.
244,000 – Number of American children and youth estimated to be at risk of child sexual exploitation, including commercial sexual exploitation, in 2000.
38,600 – Estimated number of an approximate 1.6 million runaway/thrown away youth at risk of sexual endangerment or exploitation in 1999.
12-14 – Average age of entry into prostitution.

http://traffickinghope.org

August

2011-08-10T15:07:00.003-05:00

This month is always a weird one for me.

School started back today.
This was E's first day of High school.
I remember her first day of Kindergarten like it was yesterday.

My birthday is today, I'm 44.
I get very nostalgic on my birthdays now that I'm hovering around the half way mark.
For most, New Years stirs them to action, for me, it's knowing another year has gone by and there is still so much I need to do,

August 11th 1998 Evangeline was diagnosed with Diabetes.
That day in August was definitely the worst. My 2 yr old baby was in ICU for 3 days hooked up to a million tubes fighting to stay alive.

August 15th is Dean's birthday. That is a good day. I'm so glad he was born and he's my life mate. I love him more every day.

August 29th 2005 is when Katrina hit. EVERYTHING changed after Katrina. Everything about how we live even to this day has changed.

August 20th 2006 was the day we found out that a baby boy we were in the process of adopting would not be our son, his birth mom decided to keep him two weeks before he was born. We named him Bradshaw Graham but his mom named him Damien. We still think about him and pray for him and his family.

So, August is a series of ups and downs.

Change is in the air.
I'm initiating some change and it feels good.

I've decided to take the next three weeks and really focus on finishing my book.
It's that one thing that I really need to do but I keep putting it off.
It's the Elephant in my room always.
So I'm just gonna buckle down and get it done.
If your reading this, hold me accountable, cuz' I need to get it done.

I think 44 is gonna be a good year.

Just gotta get through August :-)

Michele Bachman Newsweek Cover

2011-08-09T10:44:00.003-05:00

I saw this over at Jesus Needs New Pr.

He posted this under the picture,

Here’s the Washington Post’s take on the controversy…

And just think: we have a whole 14 months of this mess to look forward to…

and this is the comment I left on the post,

She is too far right for me but I think this cover really shows the hand of Newsweek more then Michele Bachmann. Are they the FOX news of magazines from the far left? Is there job to stir up anger and hate extremes? Because that is all that will be accomplished by a stupid and obvious magazine cover like this.

She’s the queen of rage? Well what do they think a cover picture like this will insight? Love? Compromise? Working together? Seriously, do we need to be more polarized right?

Look at the result of the extremest we have in congress right now, no one is willing to give even an inch and that led to a horrible debt reduction deal that has caused the financial crisis to take a turn for the even worse.

We need to NOT stir up anger and even more fear and hatred of each other right now.

But no, that’s what sells magazines, boost ratings on so called news channels and fuels groups like the Tea Party and their “see I told you the liberal media is out to get us”.

It’s all bull crap rhetoric! Shame on you Newsweek!

I’m so sick of the right and the left game of extremes.

THAT is what will destroy this country.

_____________

You should check out the comment tread on his post, it's pretty interesting.

What do you think of this picture?

The treatment of women in politics?

The constant stirring up of fear and hatred that we have to endure during political seasons?

It all makes me want to puke!

She Likes Doing Shots

2011-08-08T15:57:00.001-05:00

Almost two months ago Evangeline went back to using shots to give herself insulin.

She had been on a pump for almost 9 years but over the last two years, her blood sugars had gotten out of control.

I won't retell that whole story, but you can read it here.

We were not happy with the fact that her Doctor wanted her to take a "Pump Vacation".

But it turns out that Dr. Genet knew what she was doing.

Not only are her blood sugars improving but it's actually a lot easier.

The only down side was having to wake up early this summer (7:30am every morning) for her to eat and do insulin and then having to eat and do insulin at 5:30pm every day.

But that "down side" is actually better then wearing the pump according to her.
It's less work.

She doesn't have to worry about her pump location, making sure sites are in good, making sure to enter blood sugar reading and program insulin delivery every time she ate. etc.

With shots, she is getting a long acting and a fast acting twice a day and she just has to check her blood sugars and eat at normal times of the day.

She was on shots from age 2 to 6.
We switched to the pump for better control and more freedom.
We got worse control and too much freedom.

The other day she said, "mom, I think I want to stay on shots for a while. I like it better. I feel better."

So it just goes to show me that sometime changes we dread, cry about, hate having to implement, turns out to be for the good and makes life better.

I need always to remember that.

I Simply Like the Movies That I Like

2011-08-04T18:00:00.005-05:00

After I reviewed the movie Cowboys and Aliens, I read a rather lengthy review of it that went into the implications of colonization inferred in the movie and the stereo typical type casting, I was like "What the..?"

The review was WAY too deep and analytical for a movie about Cowboys and Aliens if you ask me.

I also had a little discussion in the comment section of my blog post with Ben Arment, who spoke of his love for Super 8 film making and how he didn't like the digital overkill that is prevalent in many of today's movies.

What's Super 8 film making? What's digital over kill?

I started to feel really self conscious.

Maybe I had no right reviewing movies on my blog.

Maybe I'm just too simple in my movie watching to dare to pen thought out opinions.

I mean, if I don't even know what "super 8 film making" is and I didn't watch a movie about Cowboys and Aliens through the filter of the implications of colonization, and I wasn't offended by stereo types either, then how dare I give an opinion?

But I decided, I just had to be me, I had to be free to like what I like, even if others think it's crap.

For me, I simply was glad that I went to a movie and I wasn't bored, or didn't feel like I wasted my money or time and I didn't feel manipulated. I was entertained. Which, with movies now-a-days, is rare if you ask me.

I actually over think a lot of things, so I can't claim across the board simplicity but with art, like music and movies, I guess I just have simple standards.

Heck, I loved NSYNC, still love Kidd Rock and Three Doors Down and I like some Nickle Back songs, which, in certain circles, completely disqualifies me from giving a deep critical opinion of any music.

I don't over think movies. That's probably why I don't get offended often or feel like there's a risk of becoming a Witch after watching a Harry Potter movie.

I love movies, when I like one, I'm intense about wanting others to like it.

Here are my basic movie standards and a few movies that meet those standards;

Don't manipulate me emotionally.
Some movies play like a two hour Hallmark card commercial, I hate that.

But you can make me cry,
Precious, Dead Poets Society, The Outsiders.

or sometime you can make me heave crying like someone has died,
The Color Purple.

Mess me up by taking me on a deep look into the past and present evils in the world,
Blood Diamond, Precious, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan.

Make me laugh AND quote the movie for the rest of my life,
My Cousin Vinny, Joe Dirt, Major Payne, Anchor Man, Talledega Nights, Elf, Nacho Libre, Under Cover Brother, Bridesmaids.

Comedies are my favorite.

I like movies that make me marvel at the visual effects,
Jurassic Park, Avatar.

Ones that make me marvel at the Cinematography like I'm truly watching art, while telling me an amazing story that I don't stop thinking about after the movie ends,
Book of Eli, Moulin Rouge, Traffic.

Tell me a great serious, thrilling story, that haunts me, makes me think,
Momento, Deloris Claiborne, Four Brothers, Crash.

Tell me a crazy good story, with funny dialogue that makes me think,
Juno, Fargo, Jerry McGuire, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

Entertain the crap out of me with action, without giving me a heart attack, all while making me laugh,
Cowboys and Aliens, Iron Man 1&2, The Other Guys.

Take a beloved book and bring it to life on the big screen,
Lord of the Rings, Narnia, To Kill a Mockingbird.

Make my heart melt with a beautiful love story,
The Notebook, Out of Africa, Gone with the Wind, Titanic.

Make me smile, laugh, and get that warm fuzzy feeling with a romantic tale,
Enchanted, Beauty and the Beast, Pretty Woman, How to Marry a Millionaire.

Make me feel the drama, the intensity of deep characters who over come something,
The Fighter, The Blind Side.

Give me dark characters and help me know them and feel for them,
The God Father 1 & 2, True Grit, A History of Violence.

Scare the crap out of me without slasher stupidity,
Silence of the Lambs.

( I HATE horror movies!)

I enjoy movies even more now that I have started being an extra in them. The process of movie making is creative artistic and very different then what I thought before I started doing them.

I really don't have time to over think movies, I'm too busy enjoying the ones I enjoy. and while enjoying them I'm thinking "how cool would it have been to be an extra in the scene" or I'm looking over to whomever I'm sitting by in the theater and saying 'look at all those extras!"

I'll leave the deep analytical reviews to others, I just like what I like. It's that simple.

Votetivism is not Activism

2011-08-02T12:44:00.008-05:00

In 1988, I had been a Christian for a couple years, when I first really read Matthew 25, "..when I was hungry you fed me, when I was naked you clothed me..." and James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." I remember thinking, "I don't do any of that." That was the day I determined to be about, "A little less conversation and a lot more action" as Elvis would say.

Not long after that day, God called me to care for orphans. I knew that was my life calling. So, I proceeded to fight for orphans the best I knew how at age 19. I joined the fight against legalized abortion. I myself had thought I was pregnant as a 16 year old and I had considered abortion. Thank God I wasn't pregnant. Later, when I became a Christian at age 17, it freaked me out that I could have had an abortion without my mom even knowing. And worst, without really knowing myself what I was doing or my other options.

I became very active in the cause. I was arrested several times outside of abortion clinics during the late 80s and early 90's. No, I never screamed at a girl going in, I tried to talk to them if they were open to it, I mostly prayed and occasionally I got close enough to squirt glue into the locks on the doors and one time I did handcuffed my self to a trailer parked in front of the doors, hence the arrest :-)

I also volunteered in a crisis pregnancy center. I knew it was important to be both for something positive while being against something harmful. I believed then, as I believe now, that there has to be a real alternative offered, a caring action has to follow a protest against something.

But then over zealous fanatics started shooting abortion doctors. Things got crazy in the anti-abortion movement. What started as peaceful resistance, as calm, grace filled protest, had been taken over by people that could only see through fear and hate colored glasses disguised as righteous anger. I had to walk away.

But I still continued to be very politically active in the pro-life arena. And I found that was easier. I decided that I would just vote pro-life, like 99% of professing pro-lifers do and that would be the solution. Certainly, if we could get a pro-life president and/or a congress that was majority Republican, we could see the end to legalized abortion. So that's what I fought for. George Bush was elected, twice, served eight years as president, and the Republicans controlled congress. Yet, nothing changed. Abortion was then and still is legal. Small gains have been made, but the bottom line is, it's still legal to have an abortion through all nine months of pregnancy and women are still making that decision, many times, without completely understanding the full scope of what abortion is and also what it can do to the body.

So, around 2005 I started to once again reevaluate my activism. I had spent years watching Christian organizations spend thousands of dollars to rally voters, I had been an active member of these groups. They worked hard to get Christians to the polls to vote in "Christian" leaders but that resulted in very little positive change and sometime very negative change.

And as I started to research the effectiveness of moral voting, I discovered that since 1990 teen pregnancy's continued to dropped at the same rate under both Republican and Democrat presidents. and abortion rates steadily declined under both Republican and Democrat administrations, with actually a slight rise at the end of George Bush's presidency.

It was plane to see that voting in Christian candidates had no effect on the outcome of the issues I was most passionate about.

It was also around 2005 that the world of social media started to really blow up. Everyone started a blog, we all started communicating through Myspace, then Facebook and then twitter. And when it was election season, people started to use social media to raise awareness of issues, call out candidates on issues, organize online petitions, rally the troops. I really thought that all of this awareness would result in action.

But oddly enough, in the 2008 presidential election, the election that so many Republicans cared so much about on twitter and facebook, the one they felt could possibly usher in the Anti-Christ or not, voter turn out was down instead of up.

And that would be fine if it was because people started to realize that being change would generate better results then trying to just vote in change. But that was not the case..

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics,

The volunteer rate declined by 0.5 percentage point to 26.3 percent for the year ending in September 2010, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. About 62.8 million people volunteered through or for an organization at least once between September 2009 and September 2010.

and even more telling is this statistic, Persons in their early twenties were the least likely to volunteer (18.4 percent).

So basically, the most aware generation in the history of America, the generation that literally has all the information at their finger tips, the generation that screams the loudest on facebook and twitter about their "passion" are not voting and even worse, they are not being instruments of change either.

No wonder articles about "Clicktivism"and "Slacktivism" have garnered so much attention recently. Social media can be a great tool to raise awareness and rally action, just look at what happened in Egypt. But in America, voting and volunteerism statistics show the reverse effect. Instead of engaging in the cause dearest to our hearts, we have opted to sign online petitions or "like" a cause’s page in order to feel like we are helping in some way, like we are at least doing something.

Social media awareness and activism, can be a part of the solution. But the combination of awareness, legislation, and most importantly, action personally, is what it will take to see real change. When we vote pro-life but fail to take care of the children in the foster care system, and/or the AIDS orphans around the world, we are not really pro-life. When we vote for pro-family legislators but do little to help poor families, we are not really pro-family. We have to put our feet where our vote is and refuse to just be Votetivist and begin being real activist.

Cowboys and Aliens

2011-08-01T12:04:00.002-05:00

Last night Dean and I went with Nathan and Esther to see Cowboys and Aliens.

I honestly didn't know how this concept could work without it feeling forced, cheesy or fake. I mean really, what a creative concept, Cowboys and Aliens together. What a creative idea, but, I just couldn't see it really working.

But it did.

I was raised watching both genres, more then I wanted to watch them actually. My dad would make us watch Trinity movies. They were funny. Trinity was always dirty. And I was made to watch a fair share of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies too. I was also raised on Star Wars, E.T. and Close Encounters, the movies that set up Lucus and Spileberg as THE Space/Alien movie guys. So although I'm not a huge fan of either genre, I appreciate a good Alien adventure or a good western, like I loved Dances With Wolves, Tomb Stone, and the recent True Grit, that was amazingly good.

But combining the two?

I had only read one review, or rather it was more of a comment really, about Cowboys and Aliens, it was by Ben Arment on his blog. I have great respect for what he has to say about creative things. He said he thought it was too Alien heavy, to CG, not enough Cowboy. He was disappointed in the movie.

So I went in with only that information in my filter and I was pleasantly surprised to find the opposite to be true. I felt that there was a good balance between Alien and Cowboy on screen. I actually thought they did a great job of making us care about each character. I don't know how their could have been less Alien time without it seeming too Cowboy heavy considering the point of the movie (Cowboys fighting Aliens) I thought it was very cool how they were true to many of the old west movie types, they seemed to take care to honor the genre. And they also were true to the feel of a good "bad Alien's comes to earth" movie. The Aliens were superb if you ask me.

The pacing was perfect. Just when I thought "I can't take any more of this Alien's at night sneaking up on people stuff" they switched to scenes in the daylight, where of course, it's not nearly as scary. I never got to the point of saying to myself "ok, move along, this is dragging" or "I can't take anymore action!" Which is the place I get to with a lot of movies now a days because they seem to all go just a little too long with those types of scenes.

I thought the casting was perfect. Daniel Craig has never been one of my favorite actors, I just don't find him to be good looking in a leading man sort of way at all, I never really got his appeal. But here, in a western, as a dirty, mean, bad guy cowboy fighting Aliens, well he's perfect..and attractive.

Olivia Wilde's look and the way she carries herself was perfect for the role she played. I don't want to say much about it but she was perfectly cast.

Chris Browning (who is also in the Philly Kid, the movie that Dean, Nathan, Esther and I are all in, that comes out in January) is a great bad guy, who's bad but not all the way bad, and he's funny but he's not trying to be funny. Kind of like the Character that Sam Rockwell plays in the movie. He's Doc and he delivers some of the funniest lines. I always love him in movies, he usually plays the bad guy, but he also plays a good good guy too.

I felt the "meat" inside of each of the bad guy cowboys stories. We didn't know the meat of most of them, but I felt like I did just after watching them for a few minutes on screen. If that makes any sense.

Adam Beach, (who we at the Turner home know as Kickin' Wing from one of our favorite movies, Joe Dirt) is great in this movie as one of Harrison Ford's men. And Harrison Ford is in his full gruff, bad-but not-such a bad guy, glory. Him and Daniel Craig made a great team.

The movie makers, John Favreau and Steven Spielberg, pulled me into a compelling story, took me on a journey that I enjoyed, made me laugh, cry, jump out of my seat, hid my eyes, think, and celebrate victories. They made me marvel at the creativity of this movie and while watching it I wasn't constantly thinking, "wow, that's just dumb Hollywood cliche and pandering to the audience", ( I only thought it twice) which I find myself thinking a lot these days even in movies I enjoy.

So a movie that I didn't think I would like that much, a movie composed of two genres that I don't exactly love, turns out to be my favorite movie of the summer. THAT my friend, is what movie making is all about.

If you haven't seen Cowboys and Aliens, go and see it. It's a great movie.

Blog Birthday Post #2: A Little Q&A with Chick Blogger Extraordinaire, Anne Jackson

2011-07-29T13:11:00.003-05:00

Anne Jackson has been blogging for a really, really long time, like since the 90's! I didn't even know there was such a thing back then.

I first discovered Anne's blog through Dan Ohlerkings blog. As many of you know, he is my blog-father. He's the one who said "You should start a blog". So just after I did, I popped over to his blog and saw that he had a list of other blogs (now I know this area is called "the Side bar") and I saw her name, clicked and started reading. That was in 2005. I have been reading every since.

She's the author of two highly successful books, Mad Church Disease and Permission to Speak Freely.

I've had the honor of getting to hang with her a couple times when she came to town and I got to be her "buddy" when we took her on Midnight Outreach one time.

She's a good chick.

I'm very honored that she would answer my questions. Thanks Anne :-)

Anne, when did you start blogging?

Unofficially, I started blogging in 1996 when I began journaling online in hopes of impressing my student English teacher. I registered my first domain name in 1998, and the rest is history!

What's your favorite blog post that you wrote? why?

I would have to say I love different blog posts equal amounts, but for different reasons - kind of like children. My essay "The Sex Cafe" was written while witnessing a girl get trafficked and sold in Moldova as I was on an undercover type trip to explore the sex trafficking industry. (c - this is up on reject apathy's website since flowerdust is not up anymore)

What's your least favorite blog post that you wrote? why?

Oh wow...this would be back in the days when I used Xanga. That is still up, by the way, but is set private. :) I ranted about how Perry Noble was using money to get people to come to church and asked my readers to take a stand against him. Thankfully, he was gracious and forgiving when I came to my senses, and now we're great friends.

Have you had any life changing blog moments? Explain.

Every time someone leaves a comment or shares a post it really means the world to me. I am humbled someone would take the time to read and respond.

If YOU could BE only one of these; Instagram, Facebook, Blogger, twitter, which one would you be and why?

Facebook, completely private, and live the life of a social media hermit. I'm an introvert, so it's actually pretty difficult for me to stay engaged online.

Have you ever thought of quiting? Why? (Dan, since you did quit, you don't have to answer any further questions :-)

I have quit a few times by taking extended sabbaticals, and have learned it's not the end of the world when I do. I probably will continue doing so.

Do you have any blog stalkers?

There have been some interesting people that have sent me some weird things in the mail or brought me odd things to events where I've spoken. There are also people that have baked me cookies or muffins. If those are stalkers, I say let them stalk!

Have you ever met a blog stalker that really was a freak?

One person who I had met briefly once at a speaking engagement did show up to my house one time (and I never share my address or have it on public records - how he found it was a little disturbing!) I was out of town that weekend, but someone else was staying at my house. This person asked if his children (also with him) could play with my cats. The answer was no. That was a little strange to me. I wouldn't say he was a freak as I don't really know him, but his actions surprised me a bit.

Thanks again Anne for helping me celebrate the art of blogging, on this, my 6th blog B-day! Your a true inspiration.

God bless.

Blog Birthday Post #1: Birthday Wishes From Friends with Blogs

2011-07-29T09:02:00.003-05:00

Sine it's the blogs 6th birthday I thought I'd celebrate the art of blogging by interviewing a few friends with blogs.

Because, let's face it, 6 years is like 45 in ~~dog~~ blog years.

Many blogs have closed, most people only need their twitter and facebook to communicate what they want to say.

But some of us, well, we love blogging. It's our niche.

So, I'd like to celebrate that today, celebrate blogging, with some of the other old ~~dogs~~ blog...ers :-)

First up, my long time friend, Karen.

She blogs at http://karensporch.blogspot.com

She has seen me through some really rough patches in my life, I can't imagine I would have gotten through my early Christianity without her. I still quote her words of wisdom from like, 20 years ago. Truth is truth and it's timeless.

Veritas.

Karen, when did you start reading The Wardrobe and The White Tree?

I am sitting here trying to remember the first time I read your blog. Truth is, I can't. It's either one of the many signs of dementia I am noticing, or your blog is so ingrained in my day to day life that it just has no beginning. I will say that you are the inspiration for my own blog. You are the one that encouraged me to write my thoughts, you set the whole thing up, and you are the one I think of when I neglect it. So thank you. I love blogging. I know it is a little bit of exhibitionism mixed with subtle cries for help. But it's also our small history. Our chronicle of this journey that is sad and happy and silly. Our kids can read it and know our hearts if they feel like it. Stalkers can feed their obsessions, and people may sometimes get inspired to carry on one more friggin day. My advice to myself and you is not to censor your heart. There is not some huge responsibility to represent institutions by not discussing why you drank too much wine last night and danced in the kitchen with your husband. OK, that was me, but don't take it too seriously. Life is fun, and I believe God likes us. Carry on, Sue.

I love you.
Karen

_____________________________________

Next up is Esther.

She blogs at http://thero-bears.blogspot.com

She's the reason I now get to call myself a "Movie Extra". If it wasn't for her insisting, I wouldn't have ever sent in that first application to the movie Contraband and I would have never gotten to be in a scene with Mark Wahlberg :-)

Her and her husband Nathan have become like family, I'm hoping to one day arrange a marriage between her girls and my boys.

Esther, when did you start reading the blog?

I started reading your blog right after I first met you, I knew I had to get to know who this famous Carole Turner was I knew the best way was to read your very thoughts, soon after it became very clear, you would have to be my friend. From the beginning it was clear how much you loved your family and the Dream Center.

What was your favorite post?

My favorite Blog post so far was the one you wrote about Abel- I can't quite remember the title but what you wrote was how Abel was adjusting affected me. It made me remember how easy I had it as a mother and how willing you were to sacrifice for this little boy you had first saw in a picture. Now that to me is Love, the very essence of Love, completely unconditional and unwavering exactly how God loves us. You talked about how Abel was letting you hold him and hug him,and how the question of mistrust was slowly slipping away. It made me think how much God wants us to completely trust Him, how able He is if we just let go of our hurt and pain. You are an incredible writer and I started blogging because of you. I'm not near as good or witty and a lot of my sentences seem to run together like one big blob but I have completely falling in love with it.

Love you!

Esther

_________________________________________

Next up is Shawn.

He blogs at shawnmwilson.com.

Shawn and I have had it out here on the blog a few times actually. He's passionate about what he believes. Have you ever seen the movie "Conspiracy Theory" with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts? Well he reminds me of the Mel Gibson character. He doesn't trust the government and he'd just be really happy if Ron Paul was our next President :-)

He's a good guy. I appreciate his passion.

Shawn, when did you start reading The Wardrobe and The White Tree?

I stated reading Carole's blog back when we first met in Bible School, which I think at this point has been about 3 years. While we don't always agree on things I have always found her thoughts powerful and refreshing.

What's your favorite post?

I'm not sure I have a favorite post that I can point two but whenever Carole let's herself go with the Veritas inside her........I LOVE IT!! When Carole speaks about issues in the church that people don't like to deal with she communicates like a prophet of the OT. With a lot of force and a lot of love.

To be honest I wish I could communicate like Carole does with her blog. She lets the world into her world and the feelings that are expressed are what connects her to the world that she is changing.

I am proud to call her my friend!!

Much love Carole and Happy Birthday
Shawn
________________________________________

What was your favorite post from the last 6 years? When did you start reading the blog? Leave me a comment and Come back later today for more celebrating later today with Birthday post #2

Tomorrow This Blog will Be 6 Years Old and I got Her a GREAT Present!

2011-07-28T10:27:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow this blog will enter the first grade.

And I'm throwing a little party.

I've invited some of the cool kids to the party too so it should be fun.

But before the party tomorrow, I want to tell you what I bought the blog for a birthday present...

Ready?

Excited?

I got us...

thewardrobeandthewhitetree.net
thewardrobeandthewhitetree.org
thewardrobeandthewhitetree.biz
thewardrobeandthewhitetree.info

If you remember, she started out as The Wardrobe and the White Tree and I owned thewardrobeandthewhitetree.com for a long time. But then, a mess up with credit cards, and some how, I lost it and someone else bought it. I begged him to give it back. But the guy wanted $50 to release the .com

I was devastated. You can read about it here.

So, reluctantly, the blog became Carolesmithturner.com

It never felt right.

I missed my Tolkien and Lewis inspired blog title. "The Wardrobe and the White Tree".

It was original.

It belonged to this blog.

It was who she is.

I knew somehow I had to get it back.

But I couldn't pay $50 for it or rather, Dean would of had a cow if I'd paid $50 for it!

So, instead, for $25 I bought every other possible "thewardrobeandthewhitetree" (dot) whatever.

And tomorrow, on this blogs 6th birthday, we will hang a new, old sign once again.

Come back tomorrow and celebrate with me and some special friends my 6th blog-birthday and...

The return of THE WARDROBE AND THE WHITE TREE!!

The Price of Veritas

2011-07-26T17:37:00.005-05:00

Authentic.

Authenticity.

Words that bug me because of their over use in the world of social media by people who use their presence here online to be truthful or honest about themselves and what they believe.

They are being authentic.

People who say what others sometime think but wont dare say.

People who are considered too honest for such a public arena such as this.

People like me.

But yesterday I was reading Karen's blog, and she wrote a blog post about her love for the word Veritas.

It means truth.

Nice word. Very nice.

I fell in love immediately.

I decided to commandeer that word for my own use.

My truth, my Veritas, cost me.

And some days I feel the pain of it more then others.

I read Carlos Whittaker's Blog today like I do every day, and his blog post today is titled "Screw the Plastic Smile.

This is what he wrote;

Sometimes you just don’t feel like being in the picture.
And when this feeling comes over you…
Please feel free to let the world know.
Because if there is one thing I have learned from my kids…
It is that living authentically, no matter the cost, no matter the looks you receive from those standing by judging you, is way better than a plastic smile.

Timely.

But the Veritas is, that we make our beds and therefore we must lie in them.

The cost, is the cost, that's just how it is.

I'm not interested in having a pity party.

I detest victim mentality.

I am not a victim.

This is cause and effect.

I get it.

I know God is moving.

I know He is in control.

I also know he made me with a voice.

Sure, I screw up and say too much, way too much sometime, but in my heart I want to please God.

A pastor friend of mine once asked me a question, "What about asking someone to proof all your blog post for stuff that might offend? Or do you feel that would stifle your creativity?"

I appreciated that question. He gets that we are all created different, with different gifts and callings, and sometime, others "proofing" would say "don't publish that, you might offend". But it's my Veritas.

People who are good at conforming, being peace makers, don't know what to do with people like me.

They quote James and proverbs to us a lot.

We quote John the Baptist, Paul and the little kid in the story of the Emperor's New Clothes to them.

We feel we need to be THAT kid.

Our truth screams at us when we scream, "THE EMPEROR IS NAKED!!!"

Their truth says, "but do you need to say it in such a public place? Was that blog post really necessary? Is it all about getting attention by saying something shocking?"

They honestly believe what they honestly believe.

And I dearly love them for it.

Their Veritas is different then mine.

I want to fit in, really it would be so much easier to fall in step.

I just don't know how.

God didn't make me like you. I'm sorry.

Veritas.

I may get that tattooed somewhere, "VERITAS".

Karen, you with me? Let's go together next time your here.

Love and grace.

Family Portrait

2011-07-25T15:19:00.002-05:00

Our church is doing a series called "Family Portraits".

Yesterday they took actual family portraits...with a twist.

I have no idea what Dean is doing with his face in this picture but I have the best looking family in the world :-)

Good times. Good times.

Pray Before You Eat?

2011-07-21T22:35:00.003-05:00

We don't pray before we eat at home or out at restaurants.

I used to do it all the time when I first became a Christian. It was like, you get saved and you start praying over your food or die. It was that simple.

If you got sick after a time that you ate and forgot to pray, well, the lack of praying was the obvious reason.

So, I knew I had to bless my food or there was a good chance I could get poisoned from it.

Plus, when your in public, nothing says "we are Christian's, look at us" like a table full of sweet content faces bowing their heads to pray before a meal.

One time, back when I was 18 or 19 years old a bunch of us from Swaggart's college were at Chili's.

We went there a lot after church.

We of course always prayed before we ate, like good Christians do.

But this night, a waiter was being a real butt to us. He was giving us attitude for little things like the fact that we wanted refills on our drinks or more Ranch dressing.

I complained to a guy that was with us, Garth, "that waiter is so rude. I'm not gonna tip him!" and everyone at the table all agreed, he was not worthy of our tips.

The waiter returned to our table, and Garth said to him. "hey man, how's your day going? You seem a little stressed maybe?" and the waiter replied "yea, I'm just tired. I've been here since 9:30am this morning, I'm just dead on my feet right now." It was 10:00pm.

Garth said "wow, I can imagine. I'm sorry your having to work such a long day. I hope we aren't making it harder for you?"

In which the waiter replied, "Na, man, it's just part of my job. I just wish I felt better and wasn't so tired".

Him and Garth talked every time the waiter came back to the table. By the time we left, the waiter was laughing and seemed like he was enjoying talking to us.

I felt like a heel. All I saw was the way the waiter was acting. I didn't see the way I SHOULD BE ACTING, Until Garth started doing it.

We all tipped the waiter.

The fact that we all prayed before we ate only said "we are religious" but the fact that Garth took the time to see past the bad attitude, and to really just be Jesus to this guy who had been working 12 hours, well that was Christ eating at Chilies right there.

I NEVER forgot that night.

It made a lasting impact on me.

I don't have a problem with people who pray before they eat, but seriously, why do we do it as a "Must do" kinda thing?

I hear it's because Jesus did.

But he did it when he was taking loaves and fishes and feeding 5000 with it or doing what we call communion now. But where did he tell us to join hands in a public restaurant, and pray before we ate our food?

I though he said we were NOT to pray in public?

So, when my kids ask me why we don't pray before we eat I just tell them that, sure, we can pray, it's always good to talk to God, to thank him for our food but there really is no place in the bible that tells us we have to make it a ritual and we must be discreet about it in public, not do it for attention or to send a message to the people around us.

We do have to love our neighbor as ourselves, and that is what reflects Jesus more then people seeing us pray. The cranky waiter who doesn't bring our refills fast enough, he is our neighbor, as Garth showed me over 25 years ago.

Click here, http://youtu.be/Q_CJLou8qCU to watch on of the best public prayers EVER!!

The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

2011-07-17T07:22:00.002-05:00

Evangeline is our birth miracle. I was told I would not be able to have kids. Her name means, "messenger of good news", that she is indeed.

And today she is 15 years old!

I always said that I didn't want to be one of those parents who thinks their kids are perfect, makes excuses for them and defends them to a fault.

I like to think I work hard at not being that way. I like to think I know my kids and can give an unbiased opinion of them.

But I have to be completely honest, unbiased, and seeing perfectly clearly when I say, my Evangeline is THE most beautiful girl in the world.

I know a lot of really beautiful girls. I get to spend time with Tori Ohlerking, Barbara Conti, Susan Rogers just to name a few.

Do you know them? If so, think about their laughter, their smile, that complete love of life and people. Yea, they are some of the most beautiful women in the world.

If you don't know them let me tell you, when you are in their presence you feel accepted, welcomed, hopeful, embraced, and even if you never talk to them, or realize it, you leave their presence feeling a little better. They radiate Jesus without saying a word.

True beauty is all encompassing, inside and out, full and other worldly.

It's supernatural.

I see that in my Evangeline.

Sure, she's a human teenage girl. She gets an attitude, she can be mean, selfish, she can be too strong or too weak at times.

Just as I am sure the aforementioned beautiful women can be. They are not perfect.

But to me, that's what makes them even more beautiful.

They grow in beauty as they grow closer to Jesus daily and we see their humanity while seeing Jesus.

They are not looking to be more beautiful, they are just looking at Him.

That's how beauty grows.

My E is growing in beauty.

E's heart is bursting with a desire for good. Good for all, not just herself.

It burst with love. This is beyond obvious in the way she loves her brothers.

It burst with eternity. She desires God, His plan, His will for her life.

It burst with authenticity. I love watching her confidence, she's very secure in who she is because she is real.

It burst with compassion. Give her the hardest place, the darkest night, the deepest pit, and she will jump in and try to love someone.

That is beautiful.

I take no credit for this beauty. I just pray daily that nothing I do crushes that beautiful spirit.

Her and Dean have been in Haiti since Tuesday, they come back tonight, I've missed her so much. I pray she will remember this birthday as the one where she saw beauty in the laughter of an orphan, and that laughter made her more beautiful.

"How lovely are the feet of them that bring good news" (Romans 10:15)...

Click on her facebook page if you would like to send her a happy birthday message.

http://www.facebook.com/evangeline.turner

A Year Ago today: There is Definitely a Paper Cutter Hell

2011-07-16T19:31:00.002-05:00

A year ago today, I did this to my finger...

If your wondering the fate of that evil paper cutter that tried to take the side of my finger off exactly one year ago today, a paper cutter that had lived, blade-protector-free, being used almost daily at the Dream Center, for quite a while until that fateful day, well we threw him away thank God.

But not without Kayla attempting to rescue him. She actually took it out of the trash can thinking surely, it had been thrown away by mistake.

I said, "Kayla, we have a new paper cutter, one with a bar protecting the user from sticking their finger under the blade. That one doesn't have a protector on it, hello! That's the one that cut my finger!"

In which she replied, "well, I doubt anyone else is gonna do what you did." (AKA be dumb enough to stick their finger UNDER the blade without realizing it)

But I insisted and pulled out the "Hope said to throw it away". Cuz' ain't no way I was working in the same building with that hateful scheming devil of a paper cutter! He threw off his blade protector with evil intent. He tried to take the side of my finger off and therefore, he must pay the price!

There is definitely a paper-cutter hell.

I actually really dig these pictures. The black nails, the stitches going through the finger nail, it looks like a rock album cover to me. Maybe the band could be called "Black Nails" and the album named "Stitches".

The Spiritual Pissing Contest

2011-07-15T10:44:00.007-05:00

A pissing contest, is a metaphor used to describe men trying to "one up" each other by showing off or telling stories, like fish stories, hunting stories, etc.

But in church world, the world I'm in, a spiritual pissing contest is when people are trying to sound more spiritual then others in the room.

Here's how it plays out; your at a gathering, the pastor is there, or some other Christian leader that people want to impress and all of a sudden, someone starts a pissing contest.

"Look at me, aren't you impressed?"

There's usually stuff said like; "..the other day God showed me..." or something like, "Pastor So-and-So and I are very close, he told me just the other day..." cuz' name dropping is essential in a spiritual pissing contest especially when everyone is listening or at least the important people are listening.

Now that we have so many social media outlets like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, the spiritual pissing contest is everywhere all the time. It's like there's a quota or something that the participants feel they must meet each day. Like say, for every two Instagrams of their kids or the sky, they have to post a picture of a scripture verse, just so everyone knows they are still spiritual and still very active in the contest.

My problem is that I usually try to say something offensive or completely non spiritual during these contest like, "I Loved Rob Bells Book, Love Wins!" or "Drinking is not a sin!" or I'll post a pic of a Katy Perry song playing in my car. Something like that usually makes all of the participants in the contest feel like they have at least beat me for sure.

I know my reaction is not good, but it's better then actually vomiting or rolling my eyes and calling someone an idiot, right?

I think people who have a hard time reflecting Jesus in their everyday life enter these contest more then others. All they have are their words, what they know or who they know in Church-iantiy so, without love, grace, mercy, humility and joy, going before them in a room full of people, they have to at least be able to out-piss everyone.

I've done it. I'll admit it. And God deals with me every time. He's the only person I am to impress and the ONLY thing that impresses him is my complete faith and trust in Him alone. There's no way to be like Jesus without walking in that. His humility, love, grace and mercy are supernatural and walking in them is not easy. It goes against our human nature, against our insecurities and our need for attention and affirmation. But He can and will help us do it if we really want to please Him alone. There's such peace in that.

I like how Jesus handled a pissing contest in the bible. The Pharisees were the best pissers ever!! When they started throwing scripture at him, flexing their "I know the bible buddy!" muscles, he sat down and wrote in the sand and ignored them. I think he was bored.

I need to respond more like Jesus did. It's really hard for me though, I wish it were easier. But I'm gonna try. I've been asking him to help me to not take the bait, ignore it or at least help me get out of the way when I see the pee starting to spray every where.

Weird Movies, Space Travel, Hot Tubs and Hobbits

2011-07-13T23:57:00.000-05:00

I finally watched the movie True Grit. It was great. I didn't know it was a Cohen Brother's movie until it was over. I should have known though, it was weird like a Cohen brother movie. Dean and I loved Fargo and Oh brother Where Art Thou? And Raising Arizona. They make the weirdest movies but they're weird in a good way.

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Dean and Evangeline are in Haiti until Sunday. I miss them bad. The boys and I are visiting my dad in Houston. My dad has a TV in every room, including one on his back porch. He has cable, Netflix, a huge flat screen TV in his living room with a Blue Ray movie player in every room ( we don't even have cable TV at home) He also has a room he calls the "Flight Command Center" because he has three computer monitors set up with his flight simulation program on them, he has the joy stick thing and the steering wheel thingy so you can do everything like your really flying a plane. All that plus the train room (yes he has a room dedicated to his train set, the track IS the room) a hot tub on the back porch that the boys love to get in and watch TV, and he gives the boys ice cream twice a day so they really do think they are in Heaven.

My dad definitely spoils them when we come to visit.

He took us to the space center today and we toured a little of NASA. It was very cool. The boys loved it. While we were touring, taking pictures next to a space shuttle and as we looked at trees planted for all the astronauts that have died, I was thinking about how little we Americans seem to think about space these days. We just kinda disregard the wonder of space travel, like it's just old hat now but it really is still a big deal.

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The other night I got into a discussion about the comparison between the Harry Potter movies and the Lord of the Ring movies. It was a lively discussion that went from twitter to facebook and back again.

It felt good to be back typing long commentary about Middle Earth. I have missed those days.

With the two Hobbit movies being filmed now and set to be released over the next two years, the interest in talking at length about these kind of things has been peeked again. I never gave up my geekness, I have faithfully watched LOTR once a month at least. But now that I'm doing work on films as an Extra, it's even cooler to watch all the behind the scenes and the "Making Of" stuff that's on the extended DVDs. The craziest thing to hear is them talk about the three months of night shoots they did for the Helms Deep scenes in The Two Towers. Three months of night shoots!? I can't even imagine that. Night shoots are brutal. Three months is hell. The cast, stunt people and extras who did these three months of night shoots had shirts made that read "I survived Hell's Deep".

I sent in my resume to the casting company in New Zealand that is doing the casting for The Hobbit. I know, New Zealand is far away, it's a long shot that I would get a call asking me to come be an extra, but if I did, I would really try to find a way to do it. I know it's far fetched, I know, But to say that getting that opportunity would be a bucket list check off is an understatement, so I applied. I figured it couldn't hurt anything to at least apply.

I leave you now with some just released images of the famous Dwarves from The Hobbit Movie. That one in the bottom picture, farthest right with the long black hair is pretty nice looking for a Dwarf!!