FU August

WARNING, language alert! Proceed with caution, You've been warned.

18 years ago yesterday I was sitting on my couch, holding my baby who had just turned two. She was drifting in and out of sleep. I wondered if I should take her to the ER. She looked so terrible, loosing 2lbs a day, her skin was rippling in the creases of her elbows and knees, her eyes sunken. The doctor told us she had pneumonia, given her two shots and sent us home telling me to let her sleep.

It was my 31st birthday.

August 10th 2000.

The next day, August 11th, Evangeline was admitted to PICU, where she spent 3 days, and was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

August has a bad habit of really just being a complete bitch to us.

This August has been no different so far.

I wont go into details but when Dean and I arrived back from our birthday weekend trip to Florida on Monday, August hit us like only August does.

So my birthday, yesterday, had beautiful moments shrouded in sadness, concern and just that oh so wonderful feeling of trying to function while your being turned inside out.

I've yet to have a break down but it's coming and when it does, lord have mercy.

Maybe I'm just numb to August and the major shit it throws at us like a rabid monkey.

I've written poems and hand written letters in the past about August and her antics because just about every bad anniversary we have is in August, oh and mine and Dean's birthdays, how ironic is that?

August 8th  -  adoption of Bradshaw fell through, his mom changed her mind.

August 10th - My birthday

August 11th - Evangeline was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

August 15th - Dean's birthday

August 29th - hurricane Katrina

August 29th -tree fell on our house and tried to kill us during hurricane Issac.

And now we will add ANOTHER crap-iversary to August 8th.

So August here ya go...


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