OG Ponderings

 It's hard to believe I'm middle aged. If I look in the mirror though, I see it. The spare tire that has developed around my mid section over the last couple of year, from having to get on hormone replacement, makes me want to weep.  The fact that I can't eat ANYTHING it seems without gaining 10lbs, my skin that bruises easier, my drying and graying hair, those random awful spots on my skin, they all tell me daily, that I am aging now very rapidly.

I see women in their 40's getting botox and plastic surgery and it always looks really bad. I've seen beautiful women jack up their faces because they were so afraid to age. I pray I am never that far gone. I want to enjoy aging but I honestly don't know if I can.

I fear our society is training us all to not even want to aknowledge old age, much less get there gracefully. Hollywood sets the standards by which most women age and that standard is so jacked up. There are exceptions, Meryl Streep, Jamie Lee Curtis, Julia Roberts, but the majority of female actresses have to be a size 2-4, age 20-30, perky boobs, flawless skin and perfect teeth in order to play a leading lady to guys twice her age.  They attempt to fight time with botox, face lifts, nose jobs, skin peels,  and they look like plastic alien dolls.

Poor 80 year old Kim Novac, wow, that was just so awful and hard to watch when she got up there at the academy awards, it made me sad to see Hollywoods standard still controlling her at age 80!

My grandmother Sara, who raised us when we were little, when she died at age 80, she left her mark. She was a mess, I mean seriously, her life should be a movie, it really was a mess but although she was overly dramatic and sad and even crazy at times, she had a dry self deprecating sense of humor. She would mock her afflictions or faults to make other people laugh. Even when she was in a wheel chair, suffering so much at the end, she would make the ladies at the nursing home crack up.

I think that is one of the greatest things she gave us, that ability to laugh at ourselves, to see our wrinkles, our imperfections as part of a great big beautiful joke to be enjoyed by ourselves and to make other people laugh.

I hope I don't forget that as I age past middle age on into old age.
Lyrics | Fleetwood Mac lyrics - Sara lyrics

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