Disney Channel Hair
Without knowledge, the people parish.
Someone has to step up and say "hey, that Emperor is naked!" so others will be brave enough to state the obvious and go against the grain.
This is one of those times.
I will be that voice.
I will speak up and say what needs to be said,
This is THAT important.
For the love of all things right and holy, Disney Channel hair must be stopped!!
The hair extension brainwashing started slow enough.
Hannah Montanna wore a wig but when she was Miley, she also had long, full, flowing brown hair.
Provided to her by hair extensions.
Why couldn't Miley have normal length, normal thickness hair?
Maybe it was the whole Disney Princess thing.
Like on the cartoons, the animated princesses always have really long full hair.
So, yea, that made sense.
Disney wanted their real life stars to look like the fake, animated, not real princesses.
Ok, I get it now.
But then I noticed that Disney Channel started spawning a Stepford-wives Esq phenomena.
Back in my day, us girls had highly admirable hair idols, we dreamed of growing up and one day obtaining Playboy Bunny hair (Think Pam Anderson, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nichole Smith or the many other blond playboy bunnies) But their hair was easily obtainable with some bleach and hot rollers. (but getting boobs like theirs would cost you a couple thousand dollars)
Now, girls see Disney channel hair on every single show on the Disney channel AND every stinkin' disney movie!! Girls now are looking to have hair that really can only be obtained by purchasing clip in, glued in, or sown in hair extensions.
None of their hair would be good enough.
Unless of course they could purchase some extensions.
I think I've figured out the criteria; It has to be boob length, hit right at or below the head lights, slightly curled at the ends and bang free.
Healthy, shiny, long flowing Princess hair.
Why am I so worked up about this excessively long-United Pentecostal wanna-bes (without the high bangs and friz) hair?
What is provoking such an intense reaction from me you ask?
Well it's because I think this bull crap has just gotten out of control.
The other night I was on a movie set with a young female star, she was maybe all of 16 years old and at the most, 4 feet 11 inches tall and I kid you not, her hair was at least 3 feet of that!! Her clip in extensions were showing at one point and I was thinking "good lord! Why does that child have extensions? Her hair could be 2feet shorter and it would still be long and pretty!"
When a movie producer puts 3 feet of hair on a 4 foot 11 star, things have gone too far.
The Disney channel hair epidemic must be contained in the cookie cutter world of the Disney Channel, where all traces of originality have long since disappeared.
We mustn't let it spread out here in the real world.
Fight the man, I mean the princess.
Just say NO to the Disney Channel hair.