Finger Nail Droppings: Suicide and Salvation

The summer before 9th grade was one of the most eventful of my teen age years. My dad met us at his parents house in Tampa, like he always did in the summer. He informed us that he was getting divorced from Marie. He said that he had a new girlfriend that he had been seeing for a while and he wanted to be with her now.

Marie was with him on the visit, she looked terrible, like she had stopped eating. I felt so sad for her. She was 20 years older then my dad and she had given him her life, now she was being left for a younger woman. I could see the pain on her face. I think she felt she was paying for what she had done to my mother. Maybe she was.

But I felt hopeful for her future without dad. She was still very attractive, she had always reminded me of Anne Margarette. I looked at her knowing she could find another husband.

But only a short time later I received a call that Marie had killed herself. She had turned on her beautifully restored Ford Thunderbird, closed up the garage real tight, and sat there breathing in the exhaust. She left a note for my dad. I have no idea what it said.

My dad was with his new girlfriend when Marie died. Marie's son, Billy, had tried to call her and when he couldn’t reach her, he called the police, they were the ones that found her.

I wondered how my dad would ever recover from the guilt. She had really stuck it to him in the end.

When my dad went back to the house after her death, he checked the mail and found a card from the Billy Graham Association. It was a “welcome to the kingdom” card that they sent to all new converts. It was addressed to Marie. It thanked her for calling in and accepting Jesus while watching one of Billy Grahams televised crusades.

She had done this only days before she took her life.

Marie had always been a very non practicing Catholic, I never remember her going to church. When my dad told me about her accepting Jesus while watching a Billy Graham crusade, it made me glad. I’m sure it gave him some peace also.

About a year after Marie take her life, my dad became a Christian and his conversion was the catalyst that lead to me finding a real lasting faith in Christ. 

"Finger Nail Droppings" is the title of my life story that I'm writing...very slowly, maybe one day I will finish it. 


Unknown said…
I hate to hear people say that those who kill themselves go to hell. There is no scripture to back that up at all.

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