Imagining Baby Abel

One day a while back Evangeline was watching a movie with Abel and Steele in the living room. Steele was sitting right next to her and she started kissing his cheeks and hugging him saying "I miss my baby Steele! You were so cute!" Then she walked over to Abel and put her arms around him and said, "I wish I had known you as a baby Abel. I bet you were so cute!" then she picked him up cradling him like a baby and said "ok, I'm just gonna imagine what you looked like as a baby" and she stared at his face and I watched as her expression changed, you could tell that she was indeed, imagining baby Abel.

I almost lost it. The lump in my throat made me swallow hard. I had been busy cleaning around the house while all this went on but I walked over to where E was cradling Abel and I said "aww, look at the little baby. He's so cute." Abel giggled. I kissed him on the forehead. E put him down and the day went on.

Yesterday Abel was looking through his keep sake box, he pulled out a picture that I had drawn of him right after he arrived here in January of 09. He said "Mom, will you draw a picture of what you imagine I looked like as a baby?" so last night I did just that.

When he saw it he giggled. He kept staring at it. Steele said "Abel, that does look like you!" Abel keep staring at it and giggling.

Yesterday my friend Esther told me that she thought Abel and I were starting to look alike. Finally, one of my kids looks like me! My Ethiopian baby Abel.
I wish I knew more about his life before he joined our family. Supposedly his parents died when he was a baby, did they hold him a lot? Did they smile that smile that only parents smile when they look at their baby knowing they will never feel that love more for any human on earth? Did his grandmother coo and kiss him as he became a toddler? I can only guess and imagine what his life was like. If I look real hard at his face I can imagine baby Abel.

But I don't have to imagine the beautiful, kind boy that he is right now, I just have to look at his face and I see him. He's my son.


Yes, yes, yes. E has this adoptive parenting thing down. My heart is now full.

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