Birth Mom - Steele

I looked at your picture today. You are a beauty for sure. I cried. Not sure why. I guess because I look out the window and I see Steele. My heart, my love and I know he wouldn't be my son if not for you. I can't imagine the pain you felt.

You look good, healthy. I am so glad. I know things went bad between us. I know you acted out of your pain. I know we misunderstood each other, maybe, maybe not but I know I didn't handle the situation the best, but I did try.

Some people are all for open adoptions, I would not recommend it to anyone. It's just too hard. I think it would be better for a child to get old enough to decide if they want a relationship with their birth family. But I say all that and then I think of your mom and how great she is to the kids, even the ones that are not her grand kids. I know she loves Steele so much. How can I deny her that?

I know that one day Steele will want to know you. How do I not let fear and jealousy keep me from allowing that?

I can't help but feel connected to you. To deny it would be lying to myself. Your child became my child. I think this relationship is one that we are not meant to understand, we just have to somehow navigate it and I have to trust God to guide me to what is best for Steele.

Thank you for choosing us to be Steele's family. He is so deeply loved. His father adores him beyond measure. His sister loves him and his new brother loves him already. He is happy and thriving.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Oh my gosh, just shut up whoever wrote this last comment. It really steams me, talking and spamming about some stupid thing, after such a touching post. I hope you read this, whoever left that comment.
11/14/2009
Anderson Crew said…
Thanks for sharing your feelings on this...I have been navigating some milder sentiments as we recently 'found' Parker Yared's birth mom and are hoping to get the rest of the contact info to be able to send her pictures and artwork from him...I have been hearing a lot of "what ifs" bounse around my head...but for the most part I think this is a good/God thing :)
11/14/2009
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