God Hates Divorce

I have friends who married right. They married "Godly" men. They committed their lives to them. They died everyday to self, and also died to self worth, feeling valued by their spouse, encouraged by their spouse, strengthened and most importantly, loved by their spouses.

They are all now going through divorces.

And they all love God very much.

Some were physically abused, no, not enough for anyone to really see it, but a hit, a push, a shove, is still a hit, a push, a shove. Others were so manipulated by their husbands that they never felt valued, only controlled.

And yet, all of these women have heard from Christians how wrong they are to leave. How much "God hates divorce". The husbands are very spiritual men. Pastors, or guys who just want their marriages back. They had it great. Who doesn't like a good door mat or good verbal or literal punching bag?

SO they stalk and pester friends. Turn it around on the evil leaving wife or they deprive the ex wife of child support, trying to force the kids their way out of lack. They visit every available Christian friend and leader and tell how they are so sorry, really have changed, want to restore the marriage but "she's just hardened her heart". All to manipulate some more.

And EVERY TIME the women catches hell from "loving" Christians.

"You just need to pray girl, he's trying..."

"you know it's not God's will for you to get divorced.."

"What about your children?"

I seriously want to pull my stinkin hair out at some of the things people have said to my hurting, broken, grieving friends.

These ladies said FOREVER, to men they believed would love them, treasure them, encourage them. As Christ Loves the Church. Instead they destroyed these women.

I know no husband is perfect, don't even start with that, yes, they all need grace, love, forgiveness, but these wives gave that and a hundred times more. FOR 20 years!!!

I am so sad to say that these guys just didn't get it. For whatever reason, pride, arrogance, jealousy, who knows, they just chose not to listen to the MANY pleas and cries to them by their wives. They either didn't know how to or they just wern't willing to love as Christ loves the church. That is the bottom line.

You really think these women want to be doing this? You think they want to put their kids through this? No, they wanted their husbands to love them. PERIOD. They thought this was forever and it wasn't.

And so, over time, something broke in these women. Something that only God can fix. And His hands and feet, the church, needs to prayerfully, gently, care for these women. Not add to their hurt and grief.

So, yea, God hates divorce, because of what it does to each individual. It makes enemies of lovers, it is a fight for custody, property, money. It breeds resentment, strife and hatred, and even the "winner" who gets their way looses so much more then they gain.

Thank God He sent His son who died for us all, forgiveness is available for us, He loves us and will restore us and as individuals we will all stand before God.

I do feel sorry for these men. I pray they will see this as a time to really learn what it means to love, unselfishly and I pray they will move on. They may have lost the whole world and gained their souls.