Adopting a child with HIV

So in case you were wondering why the talk of adopting an orphan with HIV AIDS. Well because we feel our next adoption will be a child with HIV AIDS. Dean is still cautiously quiet...but he is aware of my current correspondence with Project Hopeful Founder and Director, Carolyn Tweitmeyer concerning plans for our future.

"Hello Carolyn,
In about 4 to 6 months we would like to begin the process of adopting a girl with HIV from Africa. We are thinking we would like her to be anywhere from birth to 4 yrs old. Can you put us on the list to receive pictures and information about waiting children?
Also, do you know if it will be a problem to adopt a child with HIV since my 13yr old daughter has type one diabetes and does frequent finger sticks to draw blood? I am not worried about her getting AIDS but I didn't know if legally there would be an issue.
I covet your prayers for us concerning this process. My husband is more cautious then I am Thanks for all you do and for inspiring and encouraging others.
Grace, Carole Turner

"Hi Carole!
There is ABSOLUTELY nothing to worry about with finger sticksetc...NOTHING legally or medically..There is NOT a single case of transmission within a family or at school or anything in normal living! It would be GREAT if you could be here for our workshop in July at Universityof Chicago....after this one we will be doing webinars with U of C...I will forward your info to Lelie, that takes care of our Waiting Childlist... I will check my "desk jumpers' that I have now.. :)...I will SOOOOOOOOOOO pray for you and your family in this. It is abeautiful thing...BEAUTIFUL...Loving the MOST vulnerable children in the world...GLORIOUS...All for ONE.
Carolyn Twietmeyer
Founder, Executive Director
EDUCATING, ENCOURAGING and ENABLING families to adopt children with HIV/AIDS.
"A FATHER of the FATHERLESS and protector of widows is God in His holyhabitation. God places the lonely IN FAMILIES and gives the desolate AHOME in which to dwell;" Ps 68:5-6"

Of course, this is all in God's hands and we are praying about every step. We don't think any of this will happen before 2010. Cool thing is that since sending that E-mail I have found out that the adoption agency we used to adopt Abel is in the middle of handling their first adoption of an HIV positive child from Ethiopia.

I have also learned how ignorant I really was about HIV AIDS. I honestly thought I would be adopting a child that would die young, I now know that is not necessarily the case.

So, what questions do you have about this? If you are a person in our lives, what concerns would you have if we had a child with HIV?

No question is off limits. I am still learning about all this myself.


Unknown said…
Know there a lot of fears and misconceptions about HIV, but can tell you from our work here, that most are out of ignorance. While treatment and care will look totally different there than here, we'd still like to be a resource and sounding board!
Lesley said…
I would ask one question:

1) What can I do to help???

Your spirit is amazing and it knows NO BOUNDS.

Be blessed, my friend!!
the Matt family said…
once again you have blown me away with your unafraid, compassionate, selfless spirit. the only question i have is in regards to the cost of the treatment of HIV, and if insurance covers it with regards to an adoption.

you rock and i cannot wait to embark with you on this journey.

meghan matt
Unknown said…
I think with the insurance question it's federally prohibited to not treat for a pre-existing condition in an adopted child. Insurance companies must treat the adopted child as they would a bio-child.

I'll be praying Carole...let me know what you need!!
Anonymous said…
I feel so sorry for Dean I am sick to my stomach.
Carole Turner said…
Anonymous, seriously? wow, you need help.
Erin Moore said…
Carole! You and Dean are amazing and I will be praying for you and your precious daughter! I am so happy for your family, God is so awesome and so faithful I know that He will be there with you every single step of the way!

Praising God for you today! I am so looking forward to this journey with you!

Your sister in Christ,
Anderson Crew said…
One of my concerns would be MY MOUTH! I already do a poor job of allowing people to fumble over ill words when refering to my boys or asking dumb questions with a close mind, or making judgements or history for my children when they do not know to have a child with HIV/AIDS and to get MORE questions, I am quite sure I could not handle it with grace :) I would need to practice that for a long time! I also woudl want to educate myself as to who "has the right to know" such as a daycare center, pre-school, etc.. or not, I would want to know my child's rights and my rights....just thinking out loud :)
Anonymous said…
OK really!! You actually adopt a child with HIV and he/she gets hurt,blood involved, are you going to have rubber gloves in your back pocket? How do you plan to handle the situation? Do you actually think this is fair to your other children or frineds/family? Not everyone feels the same way you do.
How will you handle outside opinions and comments?
Carole Turner said…
You don't have to have rubber gloves on to handle their blood. Excuse my frankness but you are obviously very ignorant of the facts concerning AIDS and how it is transmitted. I was too, that's why I included in the post a list of misconceptions about how you can get it.

It's not fair that children are left to die without parents. Millions of AIDS orphans. THAT is what is not fair. Friends, if really friends, will educate themselves. My family has already been educated about it.

Even if we never adopted a child with HIV we will be involved in helping Orphans with AIDS, hands on in many cases.

Whoever you are, it really is sad that you feel the freedom to be so harsh without leaving your name. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have but I feel it's more about being condemning in your case then really caring about the answers to your questions.

I just found your blog and think that it is so inspiring! God bless you for the work that you're doing. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
texasinafrica said…
Carole, this is awesome and inspiring. Having lived in areas with high concentrations HIV/AIDS orphans and seen how abandoned and forgotten they are by most of the world, I can think of nothing more caring, loving, and Christlike than to become a mother to one of them.

My guess is that most people in your lives won't know about your child's HIV status unless you tell them. Obviously, some people will have to know, but there's no more reason to make this future daughter be defined by her HIV than there is for your older daughter to be defined by her diabetes. A chronic disease affects a person, but it does not define her, sum up her life, or limit her ability to accomplish whatever she puts her mind to.

Some people are ignorant and rude and will ask inappropriate questions or condemn you without bothering to learn the facts. My mother taught me to answer such questions with this: "I'll forgive you for asking such a rude question if you'll forgive me for not answering." It works every time.
Karen said…
I have to say that Anonymous is a very typical responder of ignorance. Don't let it bother you Carole. People are going to be that way. This person probably knows you and is too afraid to say it. Probably wasn't too keen on your intertacial adoptions either. I would even guess that he doesn't know about sitemeters and ips addresses. As far as feeling sorry for Dean, I am not sure why. Dean loves his wife and children. Just because he doesn't blog about it, people should not wrongly assume that he is somehow not completely happy with his life. I love you, Sue, and I apolgize to all if you think I am responding harshly to the "anonymous" person. It just amazes me that someone would discourage someone from considering adopting a sick child. Wow.
Karen said…
I misspelled a few words. Sorry.
Chantelle said…
Hi Carole. I just found your blog and can't wait to read more!! We are adopting an HIV+ little girl right now and so excited! If you decide to go ahead (and I pray you do!) :) then I would love to have pics of your little one on our website

God bless you!!!

PS. To "Anonymous" - please spend some time on my website!
Candice said…
Wow! You just amaze me... although I have mixed emotions about adopting another child being the best for your family because you guys always struggle financially, I am very honored to call you family because of your bravery and selflessness.. I am trying to think of the right words but am not sure how to word it.. I love you, and I will be looking forward to another adition to your family :)

And why do I get the feeling 'anonymous' is probably a member of our family??

Some people jsut dont understand the calling of God because maybe they don't hear him in their life.. does that make sense?

Love you Guys!
Anonymous said…
Dear Carole

I just wanted to encourage you regarding your decision and to let you know that I will be praying for you. It is wonderful that you would consider adopting an HIV positive child.

My heart is heavy for all the wonderful, beautiful children that no one, not even Christians will consider adopting, because they see them as dying children instead of as living children. We are all dying after all.

A year ago I adopted a happy, talkative, bright, fun-loving, selfless, 5 year old girl who is one of the sweetest souls that I have ever met. She also happens to be HIV positive. That is just one fact about her, it is not who she is. There is life after ARVs!!

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