Attention Yelling Moms!

"I'm just a screamer. I don't know how to get through to the kids without screaming..I was raised by screamers so I scream..I don't know how to not yell, it just comes out..."

I have said all that, felt all that, and heard others say all that. If your not a screamer, this post is not for you but if you are, keep reading. No, I don't have a magic remedy for you to stop screaming over night but I do know there is hope for change. What? You never even dreamed you could NOT yell at your kids? Well dream it, believe it and ask God for it, I do everyday. Oh yea, I still scream and yell. I fail miserably everyday at being a mom but I do not stop trying. Most importantly I do not stop praying for God to help me. During my quiet time each morning I ask God to help me not to scream, to be patient, kind, treat the kids like they are not bothering me when they talk to me. The days I don't cover all that in prayer, I can tell the difference.

I hear so many moms say "I'm a good mom..if there's one thing I know, it's how to be a mother..I have this mothering thing down, etc" I have never uttered those words. Without the grace of God, I would be a really really bad mom. The truth is I have to have confidence in who God is making me and at the same time never think I have arrived in the art of mothering. I have been to much in the victim mentality camp in my approach to mothering, feeling like I was always screwing up. If I yelled once in a day I felt so condemned, like a total failure. But God is showing me I have to release that guilt too. I have to seek Him in my parenting, know that with everyday, he is perfecting me and as long as I depend on Him, give it to Him, He WILL help me not to scream at the kids and help me be the best mom, the mom he designed me to be, not the mom I naturally would be.

Prov. 24:16 for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again...

This weekend is Live the Dream Woman's Conference at my church, each session has been so affirming in this journey to not yelling. It's like these ladies know exactly what I struggle with. The feeling like "this is just how I am" mentality that we moms give in to, and they are speaking Gods truth right to the heart of these matters.


I will submit myself to God, resist the Devil and he will flee! (James 4:7). By the grace of God I will not be a screaming, yelling mom!

Comments

okay, s here's the deal---i am a major yeller. have been for many years. dad was a screamer & cusser. i used to do that too & thatnk God, dont anymore. well,i beat myself up so bad, b/c i couldnt get control of it. it was BAD. guess where i got freedom?! in fact, i got freedom for 29 days with NO screaming whatsoever. Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman. Its a book that I have taught my single moms for months now and it is GOOD and REAL. One principle--Say it once, turn your back and walk away--way my miracle. You have to read the book to understand all of it, but...I prayed over me & that book every day & God has done WONDERS thru that simple, short, book.
Melinda said…
Great post Carole! I so need God's grace idea everyday in this area (well many, but especially this one) I actually just bought a book from Amazon called "When you feel like screaming" by Pat Holt & Grace Ketterman. I haven't read it yet, but plan to start it this week. This is such a hard area in my life and I can't wait to give praise to God for overcoming this!
All I've got to say is...

"ScreamFree Parenting"

www.screamfree.com

It'll revolutionize your world!
Anonymous said…
"help me be the mom He designed me to be...not the mom I naturally would be."
great quote.
my prayer as well.
HerstoryGirl said…
Wow, you are on a roll!

I go 3 days without reading your blog and you produce some of the best posts I've ever read!!

Hi, my name is Summer. (Hi Summer!)
And I, too, am a screamer.
I was raised in a home with yelling and I often joke that we are like that family from Saturday Night Live (1980's or early 90's): "The LOUD Family."

I am praying for God's grace & guidance in this area, too. Thanks for your honesty & vulnerability here.
Anonymous said…
You all were raised by screamers but yet look at the almost perfect people you all turned out to be.

Except for the blaming all your faults on your raising!!!
Carole Turner said…
Roger and Jennifer, I will definitely get that book and check out that web site.

Anonymous, do you not think "raising" is how we become who we are? I am not blaming, just stating the facts of my life. I am taking responsibility for who I am as an adult, that is why I am recognizing things I need to change and then working on that. I think it's obvious I'm not perfect.

No need to hate, this is just me working out my life, sorry if it offends you.