Living with diabetes
Last night Evangeline sat in my bed and cried. Her blood sugars have been too high lately because she has not been checking her blood sugar before she eats and/or forgetting to give herself insulin when we are not around.
In case you don't know, she has type one or Juvenile diabetes, not the kind of diabetes where she will outgrow it, or can exercise it away or eat right and it will go away. Her pancreas does not work at all, her immune system attacked it when she was a year old and by the time she was 2 her pancreas was not functioning enough to keep her alive. Without receiving insulin via a shot or a pump (which is what she has and you can see it on the picture above on her waist) she would die within about 48 hours.
So this has been her life and ours since August 11th 1998. She has always done amazingly well with it but life with diabetes for an 11 yr old girl can get complicated. Last night she was just tired of it, tired of having to stop and check her blood sugar before she eats when her friends can just stick something in their mouths and eat it. She's tired of having to stop what she is doing after she eats to grab her pump and do her insulin dose. She is tired of site changes for her pump, finger sticks and kids asking her what that beeper thing is on her pants and if diabetes is contagious. She is a Tween, that age where being like everyone else is so important, but she is not like anyone else she knows. They have freedom in eating, she does not and unless God heals her or He gives scientist the ability to find a cure, she will never have that freedom.
I know she rarely is sad, she rarely shows others how much this controls her life. But when I have to discipline her for lying to me about her blood sugars or if she ate something she wasn't supposed too, this lack of freedom hits her and us all in the face hard. Like I told her, we have no other option, her nor us. As her parent I have to do all I can to make sure she is healthy and if that includes not letting her go off without me because she is not staying on top of her diabetes management, then that is what I have to do, her life literally depends on it.
But Like I told Evangeline, we don't get to feel sorry for ourselves. We can get sad, mad and cry but then we have to give it to God, ask Him to comfort us and give us the strength we need to live another day for Him and to live it to it's fullest. I don't know why she has diabetes but He does. God is using my Little E and I know He will use this disease to touch others as He already has.
I call times like this the readjustment time. We all have to readjust. I tweak her insulin doses that is given to her through her pump, I get up at 4am to check her blood sugar, I check her blood sugar before her meals for a few days and watch her give her insulin via her pump for a few days, then once we have her numbers back under control and her managing it again, life gets back to normal for us, a family living with diabetes.