When I die

After going to George's funeral I started thinking I should put something in writing about how I want that situation handled. George left his family a letter and I think I will do the same.

Only, like most everything else in my life, I feel the need to type it on my blog :-)

First, I want a SHORT church service of an hour max.

At the service. I want an open mic, like George had. And my friends who are still alive and continent (I plan on living a while) better get up and tell stories about me. I'm not talking about you saying glowing things about me, I am talking about ya'll telling the stories about the times I fell, both literally and spiritually, the times I said the wrong word or mispronounced one (that part could take all night) I want it to be about a person who was becoming the person who God intended. So I want ya'll to share the dirt and the washing. And it better be funny! I want lots of laughter.

I want plants, not flowers, then I want them ALL donated to places that need beauty, Nursing Homes, Orphanages, inner city schools, places like that. And I want my grand kids to go plant them in memory of me.

No open Casket!

Lots of very doctored pictures of me with my family or just ones from when I was thin and young looking.

DO NOT put me in a frilly casket! Pine box, cremation, whatever is the cheapest. The funeral Industry is the biggest racket going. I may just come back and smack someone if I am put in a frilly, expensive casket.

After the short church service, go to the grave side, stick me in the ground, then ya'll go eat and visit.

I want my headstone to read "Construction Completed, thank you for your patience" (yes, I stole that from Ruth Graham.

Comments

HerstoryGirl said…
ROFL!
Carole, you are truly my CRAZIEST friend, but that's why I love you.

Have to say, I agree with just about everything you said... LOVE the part about the doctored photos!
Still laughing...
Summer =)
agardana said…
It's patience, patients are in the hospital. Can this be one of the stories?
Anonymous said…
Girl you are a riot!! love it!!
Carole Turner said…
OMG!! That is too funny! I always get that mixed up.

Like I said, those stories could take all night!
Anonymous said…
Why wait?

Carole Sue is one of my favorite people in this world. I call her a "hub" because so many people I know and love are a result of knowing and loving her. She's 100% real. There is no secret Carole. It's all out there. I love that the most. She is a great mother and the best friend I could ever hope for. She loves me. (Then I'll tell the story about that Chow dog or Tush.)
Joyce said…
I think after that Memorial for George the other night WE ALL are re-thinking our paths on the road of life AND how we want our party at the end to go......whew!!!

It's been hitting hard on my heart all weekend.....quite sobering infact....however..I'm like you.....let's make it REAL and let's make it RELEVANT for those that are there and let's have some fun.
It's always neat to hear about what is said after the fact...I've been to some good things like the other night and to some really BAD ones...horrible ones in fact.
No hope ones. Where everyone comes away tormented...ugh.

George's night was soooo moving and very impacting to everyone. We loved it.
IT was very close #2 on my list of my all time best Memorial services.......my former Pastor's was #1.
I'm ALL about those kinds of services.....no mournful things for me thank you very much there must be WORSHIP forsure and really cool songs. HA! Got that covered....our good friend Donnie Kittle is already booked. HA! HA!
Plus yes....FOOOOD....tea and scones and tea sandwhiches..all that stuff forsure. Proper British tea party.
AdoptedAsHisOwn said…
love it!!!!!
grace said…
Carole,
This is funny...but really very beautiful at the heart of it. I love your new layout and picture!
love and grace,
pam