When I was four years old we moved into a new house. My sister was at kindergarden and my brother was only an infant. I was tired of playing in the yard by myself so I went inside and I told my Grandma. She said "well go walk down the street and knock on the doors and ask them if they have kids your age that you can play with." so that is what I did. About five houses down a lady answered the door and when I said "do you have any kids my age that I can play with?" she said "yes, I will send them out." and sure enough, we played all the time after that until we moved from that house.

I had no fear.

I did not know to be afraid. My grandma didn't tell me that I may be rejected or look stupid by knocking on strangers doors asking for kids to play with. I was innocent. I had no knowledge of fear...yet.

When Evangeline was six Dean and I took her to her first Hockey game. During the breaks they play music and shine a spot light onto people in the stands. At one point they shined the light on two young girls, they were dancing and acting silly. In that moment I thought how great it was that they were not AT ALL inhibited by that spot light. Dancing was fun and innocent and everyone staring at them under a spot light wasn't gonna make them fear. I prayed right there that God would help Evangeline to never be intimidated by what people thought. I prayed she would be free and live life to it's fullest.

I prayed she would never walk in fear.

Fast forward... A month ago we met a young girl in our neighborhood whose mother works at "Southern Comforts Gentlemen's Club". This girl is nine years old and runs the roads most all day everyday and so do her three brothers. Evangeline befriended her and immediatley asked her if she wanted to go to church. Evangeline also asked two other neighborhood kids to come and they did. One is a girl who is a Mormon and the other is a young boy whose whole life is about growing up to be a street thug. Now these kids come to church with us as much as they can. Anytime we are going, Evangeline ALWAYS ask them to go. Thanks to Evangeline these kids are hearing about Jesus and seeing Him in action.

She is fearless for Christ.

The other day we were dropping off something we had bought for this young girls family. Evangeline said "mom, why are you afraid to talk to Mrs. Smith* ?" She had read me right. I was afraid. I knew this lady lived a hard life. I was intimidated by her life. I was afraid of her rejecting me, thinking I was just another religious person prying into her business. Maybe she would think I was gonna call social services or maybe I would sound judgemental or condesending. All these thoughts have kept me from actually having a conversation with this women that I so need to be Jesus to.

I am not fearless for Christ.

Where is that fearless four year old child? I want to be her again. Jesus talks about us becoming like children to enter heaven. Could He mean this for me? I know He does.

And out of the mouth of my own fearless child He sends His conviction and the proding of the Holy Spirit; "mom, Why are you afraid to talk to Mrs. Smith*?"

"fear not my child, for what can man do to you?" Is what I hear Jesus saying to me.

I will let you know what happens...

*Mrs. Smith is not her real name.

Mark 10:15
I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.


Anonymous said…
wow, girl! this is so strong!! i am challenged and inspired. you rock!

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