White Trash Syndrome

For ten years I cleaned houses for a living. I was very good at it too. At one point I was cleaning 6-8 houses a week turning away new clients. My house was always spotless and organized. Even now with two kids, a full time job and a loaded social schedule, I manage to keep it pretty clean-on the surface that is.

Alas, I must deal with a deep dark mental problem that has haunted and plagued me all these years. This secret, this hidden issue causes great pain and anguish to my soul, my family and my furniture, yes, I suffer from White Trash Syndrome. A syndrome where by the person is unable to walk from the couch to the nearest trash can, instead the person impulsively shoves the trash into the couch or behind the couch. It's not common, actually I think I am the only person who suffers from this disorder and from what I hear the only cure is to get my lazy butt up and walk to the trash can.

I'm not a nut job, I just play one in the blog world.


agardana said…
I knew it! Maybe you should put a trash can behind your couch???? That might solve the problem.
Anonymous said…
Carole, I cannot believe that came from your couch?? that's sort of gross..LOL..
Robin said…
Dear Carole, WTS is a little know, but serious condition, which goes by various names. In some third world cultures, it is viewed less as a 'problem' and more of just a hold over from centuries of hoarding food and other items of necessity in various convenient cracks, crevices or holes. In their case, laziness was not the root cause of the compulsion, but rather survival. So, it's not that you do not want to 'get up' that drives you, that is secondary - it is your DNA saying "store it up, winters coming".So, you act out the ritual of "storing" something away - even if it is just a small token - you are unconsciously honoring your past. Just like eating. Used to, when a human had a chance to chow down and gorge themselves on a huge meal, they did it, because they did not know when such an opportunity would present itself next. Now, even though we have food hanging out of every cabinet in the house, we still chow down - not because we have to, but our programming (hold overs from the caveman days) tells us to - just in case.
No, I am not a socio-anthropo-nutritionologist, I play one in the Blogosphere. And also, being on Lortab for pain helps a little, too.
Anonymous said…
Where can I get some Lortab?
Anonymous said…
that is the funniest thing i've heard in a long time. and i am guilty too only i stuff it under my bed or between my bed and the wall.

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