Heaven and Hell

C.S. Lewis said that before he was a Christian, at various times in his life he felt stabs of joy. After he became a Christian he felt they were gentle nods to what knowing Jesus was like. Every since reading that I am so aware of that emotion on both extremes.

I think hell is like the lonleness, insecurity and confusion I felt as a child. The lost feeling as a teenager and hating to wake up. That is just a taste of Hell, I think. I have not suffered pain and lose like many but I did lose a friend and a step mother to suiside, two dear Grandmothers and I do remember that feeling of overwhelming grief. I had Jesus to comfort me so I was not alone but I can't imagine if I had suffered that time without Him. The pain of grief to the lost must be just a sample of eternity in Hell. All the bad, awful, and unbarably painful emotions like grief and heartache, and the bad feelings like lust, greed, anger, and hate, that we as believers beg to be forgiven of; that is what I think Hell will be like.

When we were at the Beth Moore Conference, they were singing Elshadia, the old Amy Grant song, but they were really working it. There came a moment in the worship that I just felt overwhelmed with good emotions, like all the good emotions were in my throat, my head, all over me. After it was over, I thought how that is just one tiny sample of what eternity in Heaven will be. When I look at my children, I feel overwhelmed with love,or when I see Dean with the kids and I want to just kiss his face off and I know that is just not even close to what being in heaven will be like. Now I always take that moment in, savor it, savor the emotion, the feeling of complete love and unimaginable joy, that in this life can only be a moment because if it lasted longer it would be heaven.


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